Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

In A Good Way

Title: Alter-Eighteen: In A Good Way

Author: Terri

E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com

Rating: R, violence and implied child abuse

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. Darn.

Archive: Ask, and ye shall receive

Feedback: Please! With a cherry on top? Good, bad, and ugly comments welcome ;)

Warnings: Slightly evil Jean ahead-more like well-meaning but inflexible and condescending Jean ahead. Chuck doesn't fare all that well either.

Summary: Alternative version of events in the movie and the eighteen series. Marie helps out Logan, and then Logan spends some time taking care of Marie.

Comments: As usual, this can be comprehensively blamed on my brbf. Because I wrote in one of the last few Eighteens that Logan thought Marie would still have turned out to be a good person even if she'd been raised by Mystique and Sabretooth, she of course asked for a fic showing that. She'd also pointed out some time ago that I usually write Marie as carrying the emotional load of their relationship, and asked for a Logan-carries-the-load fic. And since I began writing these, she's been asking for a Marie-can-touch fic, which I've never done until now (kinda shorted her on that one here though.). Lastly, she wanted a LimitedVocablularyMarie because I've done a couple LimitedVocabularyLogans by now. Mind you, she didn't ask for all this in one fic. Oh no, it's my own laziness that's come up with this :) And I have one last comment, again prompted by my brbf, who quite rightly pointed out that Logan's decisions here might very well not be the best ones for Marie and might even be a teensy, weensy bit selfish. Hey-it's a Logan POV, so we get what he thinks. The views of the mutant in question are not necessarily those of the author, and neither does she condone his life choices ;)

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I can't figure how the fuck she caught me. Mystique-she's been after me for ages, but I've always kicked her ass and a half. I can always smell her; her fancy little gift don't do shit with me. Fuck, she must've found some poison, somethin' to knock me out. I coulda sworn I felt a pinch, a needle. And now, I'm in some kinda cell with a force field that I can't get outta no matter what I try. Shit, I'm not even sure the telepathic messages I'm sendin' to Chuck are gettin' out.

Someone's comin'. Probably that bitch. Oh yeah, here we go-it's that bitch and Sabretooth. Wonderful, just wonderful. Five years of fightin' his sorry ass along with the x-geeks and I still can't find a way to kill that prick. I've really gotta suck it up and do some research or some shit 'cause I-

Whoa. Whoa. Who's that. Never seen her before. Tiny little thing. Sure as hell looks outta place with those two. She looks like she couldn't hurt a fly.

"Well, hello, Wolverine, how are you?"

"What the hell do ya want with me?" Not that they're gonna answer. Just - it's like a tradition to ask that or somethin'. Like playin' the national anthem before a game. It's gotta be done, but it don't affect the outcome.

"All in due time." See? "For now, just relax. I have some business, but I'll be leaving Victor and Marie to watch you. Isn't that right, dear?"

The girl's not sayin' nothin'. She don't look too damn happy about it, though.

"Who's she?" Not that they're gonna answer that one either, but what the hell. I ain't got nothin' better to do. And I'm kinda curious. She don't look like one of the bad guys.

"My dear Wolverine, Marie is my daughter. And Victor's...hmmm. How to put that? Well, what would you say, Vic?"

"She's just mine." The girl's shakin' at that. Fuck, I don't blame her. That ain't gotta be pleasant on either end. Bitch like that for a mom, and Sabretooth - well, that must suck for her all the way around.

"Be good, you two." Sarcastic bitch. I really, really hate her. Once I get outta here, I'm gonna kick her ass all over the place. There's not even gonna be any ass left when I'm done with her.

"Hey runt, whaddya say we have some fun? Didya know that little hamster trap floods? I'd love to watch you drown." Goddammit, I hate drownin' the most.

"Fuck you." Also traditional, also completely ineffective. He's gotta be headin' over there to fiddle with the controls or somethin'. God, do I ever hate drownin'. I hope that telepathic message got out.

"Maybe after I drown you, I'll electrocute ya a little. That's gotta be entertainin', what with all that metal in ya." Still fiddlin'. I'm surprised he actually has the brain power to figure out how to work those controls. Dumb shit.

Hey-what's-what's-the girl, she's comin' over to get a good look at me. Looks real serious too. Hmm. Big eyes. All beat up, but that's not a surprise, given the Sabretooth factor. Fuckin' Mystique - how could you let your own daughter go through that shit? I'm gonna kick her ass a little more than usual, just for that. That's fucked up.

"Hey, kid." Don't think asshole heard that. But she's not sayin' nothin', just starin' at me real intense, like she's tryin' to figure me out or somethin'. She's real thin, probably not more than eighteen or so. Wonder if she's a mutant. Wonder why Chuck never knew that Blue Bitch had a daughter. She's still just lookin' at me and I kinda can't help but look back. She's real close and - fuck! Water. Dipshit figured it out. *Motherfucker.* "You asshole."

"Heh. Get back, girl. I wanna see this." She's givin' me such a sad look there. Maybe she feels bad about him drownin' me - maybe she don't know about my mutation, that I'll heal from it. Maybe I should try to tell her not to worry, that I'll be fine. It'll just hurt like hell for a while, that's all.

"Fuck you. I'll live." Her eyes jumped at that-she didn't know but she understands I meant it, she knows I'll be OK now. Water's already up to my knees. Fuck.

"Yeah, but you're gonna wish you hadn't by the time I'm done with ya." He's such an asshole. I really, REALLY hate him. There's gotta be a way to kill him. There's just gotta. "Hey, I know what'd be fun - let's not wait to electrocute ya, let's do it right now." Aw, fuck.

He's movin' over there to the controls again and it's already up to my waist and this is just gonna suck so unbelievably bad. Wait - what's she doin'? She's sneakin' up behind him or somethin'. Hmmm. I hope like hell she's not tryin' to help me out, 'cause it's just gonna get her - aaaaahhh!!!! GODDAMMIT! That fuckin' hurt. I guess dickhead figured out how to work the electrocution button and that was a good one, almost put me out. AAAAHHH!! Gotta - gotta try to hang on. Water's up to my neck and I-AAAAAHHHH!!!! Shit, I can't - I'm goin' under, I can't...

"Whu?" Bright light. Lotsa bright light. I musta been out a while. Fuck.

"Hmmm?" Oh, fuck off. Goddamn Mystique. Sarcastic bitch, I oughta - whoa, whoa. I'm not - I'm not in the cell. I'm-I'm in a truck? A movin' truck. What the hell?

"What's goin' on here? I-uh-where am I?" Oh shit, it's the girl. It's the girl from before, drivin'. What the hell coulda happened? She's-oh, shit, she probably did try to help me, she probably did. "Uh, did you-did we escape or somethin'?"

Just a smile. No answer. "Look, kid, I-I can get help. Where are we? What happened?" Not sayin' nothin' still. Somethin's wrong with her-maybe-maybe she don't talk. "Can you say somethin'? I mean, can you talk? Uh, if you can't maybe just nod your head yes or no to that, OK?"

Noddin' yes. "So you can talk?" Noddin' yes again. "You just don't wanna or somethin'?" Little apologetic smile and a tilt of her head. "Um, now would be a good time to talk, OK? 'Cause I could use some vital information here." Whoa. Her whole expression changed-sad, afraid. Wonder what's up with that. "Look, I'm not gonna hurt ya, kid. I just wanna know where we are." Lookin' at me half-scared, half-I-don't-know-what.

"Alaska." I barely heard that, but that's progress. Good, good. But somethin's definitely not right 'cause she's lookin' at me like she expects me to smack her or somethin'.

"Good. Good. Glad you said that. Thanks-thanks for talkin'. It's good." Great, Logan, that was wonderful-very well-put. Just great. "Do you know where in Alaska? Or where we're going?"

"North." That was a little louder, a little easier, but she's still got that I'm-gonna-get-bitch-slapped-any-second look.

"Good. That's good. Did we, um, escape or somethin'?" Nod. Vigorous nod. Hmmm. "Thanks-I'm guessin' you did that." Another one of those apologetic little smiles. They're so sad. "Are you all right? Did-uh-did Sabretooth hurt you?" She don't look hurt at all-in fact, she looks better than she did before-those bruises are all gone. That's-that's weird. Either I've been out a helluva lot longer than I thought or-oh, shit, she's cryin'. Fuck.

"Are you hurt? Can I-can I help you?" Shakin' her head no. OK, well, that's good. Maybe it's just upset-tears, not pain-tears. "So you're not hurt, just upset?" Noddin' yes. "Uh, it's OK." I know you're supposed to say somethin' like that when people are upset. Truth is, I'm not too good at dealin' with cryin' people. Fightin' people-yes, angry people-yes, bad people-yes. Cryin' people-no.

Maybe I should try to talk about somethin'. "Are they chasin' us? Did they come after us?" Hmmm. She's thinkin'. I guess that's not a yes or no answer there.

"Not yet."

"OK, but they will?" Noddin' yes. "How much time before they do, how much time do you think?"

Lookin' at the clock in the dash, figurin'. Smart girl. She musta been timin' it. "Seventy-two minutes." She *really* musta been timin' it. "More or less."

That got a smile outta me and I think it's a good sign that she smiled back a little.

"Hey.my name's Logan. You're Marie, right?" I think that's what Mystique called her. Noddin' yes. Good, glad I remembered that one right. I'm usually pretty bad at names.
"Nice to meet you, Marie." Smilin', good.

"How'd we get out? Do you wanna-can you tell me how you got us out?" I can tell she wants to, but she's thinkin'. Go ahead, take your time.

"My skin. It's-it's lethal." Whoa. Impressive word for someone who hardly talks. "Mystique taught me to turn it off. She didn't think I still remembered how to turn it on."

"That's how? You touched Sabretooth with your skin and killed him?" Shakin' her head no.

"Didn't kill him. Couldn't-I-I - " Gettin' all agitated.

"It's OK, it's OK. I understand if you didn't wanna kill him." Not really, but that's probably what I should say. I honestly can't think of one single reason why anyone, and her especially, should wanna leave that asshole alive if they have a choice. Oh, wait, maybe she couldn't kill him, maybe-

"I wanted to. A lot. But my skin..it absorbs people. Their memories, and their powers. If I kill them, they never get out of my head." Well, fuck me. That's one helluva mutation. And it explains a lotta shit. That's one good reason why she wouldn't wanna kill him. One damn good reason. And it sure as hell explains where the bruises on her went. "Don't worry, it's-it's off now, I promise. I promise it's off now. I won't touch you at all. It's off. It's off." Panicked. That's not good.

"OK. I mean, leave it on, turn it off, whatever, it's OK. I'm fine with that."

She's lookin' at me shocked now-I wonder if I said somethin' wrong 'cause I suck at this kinda thing and-"Thanks."

Oh, OK, it was a good kinda shocked. "You're welcome. Look, Marie. I'm gonna call for some help, all right? I've got some friends who have a plane and they can get here in faster than seventy-two minutes. I'm gonna call them to come get us, uh, with my brain. One of 'em's telepathic."

"Are they the X-men?"

"Yeah, yeah. You know them?" Whoa. Judgin' by that look, I take it she does and she's not too fond of them. And now she's even shakin' all over. Well, shit. "They're, uh, nice people. They're not bad people."

"They'll hurt me." She seems pretty convinced of that.

"Look, I'm sure that's what Mystique probably told you and shit, but they won't, OK? You can trust me. I'll take care of you."

That's one helluva look. I can feel that right down to the soles of my feet. "Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise. It's gonna be OK. I'll take care of you, I promise." Little smile. Good. I think this is gonna work out.

"So, Marie, Logan tells us that you helped him escape. You have our thanks for that." Chuck's not makin' a lotta headway with her. She just seems kinda overwhelmed-by the plane flight over, by all the people at the mansion. She's hardly talked at all. And she's stayed stuck to me like glue. Didn't wanna be left alone. I can understand. You know, it's actually remindin' me a lot of when I first woke up naked and with no memories. It's a whole new ballgame, and how the hell is she supposed to know who to trust? Maybe I oughta help her out a little here.

"Hey, Chuck, you done? 'Cause Marie'd probably like to see her room." Noddin' yes. With a grateful little smile. Yeah, it's gettin' to be a little much for her.

"Very well. She will be staying next door to you, Logan. Please show her up. Nice to meet you, Marie." Chuck's pretty quick on the uptake. Pretty savvy to put her next to me too. He'd knew she'd wanna stick to me and I'd wanna keep an eye on her.

"Come on, I'll show ya you're new digs." Maybe give her a little wink and a smile. Yeah. She liked that. "It's a big place, but you'll get to know you're way around. This is the main stairs-they go up to all four floors. We're on the top floor. I like it up there 'cause it's quiet-no one stompin' around on the floor over ya. Plus, there's only two guest rooms on each end-most of the middle space is storage, so it's light on neighbors. I can't stand livin' with people, but this works out all right." I don't think she minds me talkin'. I think she kinda likes it when someone just talks, you know, normally, around her.

"You'll be OK with me next door?"

"Oh, yeah. You don't seem *too* noisy." Teasin' and she liked that too. That got the biggest smile yet.

"I'm pretty quiet." Heh. She's even teasin' back. Good for her.

"Yeah. Plus, it'll be nice to have you for company. I don't mind havin' you for a neighbor." She won't be a bother at all, and I can keep close to her, help her get adjusted here. I kinda like the idea of havin' Marie as a neighbor, actually.

"Good."

"So here we are-we're just gonna turn left at the top of the stairs and go all the way down the hall. Those two doors-mine's the first one, yours is the second." Noddin' yes. Good. "And here's your new room." Gonna open the door real wide, make a little production outta this. "Ta-da." Heh. She liked that too. She thought it was funny or cute or somethin', I can tell.

"It's big." Really? 'Cause I tend to think of them as little and cramped, but I hate to think of what she's been livin' like, what she's comparin' it too.

"You got a bed, bathroom, the whole deal. There's probably some clothes for you in the closet if I know Chuck."

"Hmm" Goin' in, explorin' a little, that's good. "It's nice. What-what do I have to do now?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"In exchange for living here. What am I-what does Chuck expect me to do now?" She looks thoroughly confused and-'Chuck'? He's gonna be miffed, but I think it's damn cute havin' another person callin' him that. And she said it with such a completely straight face. That's priceless. But anyway-

"Nothin'. Just take a little time to figure out what you wanna do. There's school and stuff here if you wanna take classes. Did you graduate high school?"

Shakin' her head no, real sad. "Never went."

"Me either." At least not that I remember, and if I say it, it'll make her feel better. "But you can go now if you wanna. Just relax a little, get your feet back under ya."

"What do you do here?"

"Fight with the x-men, mostly. I'm not always around. I go and come back. I got my own life to live."

"Are you staying here for a while?" Tension moment. Gotta be more careful how shit comes outta my mouth. No need to make her worry for nothin'.

"Yeah. I'm not goin' nowhere. And if you don't wanna take classes, we'll figure somethin' else out. Plenty of stuff for you to do if you want."

"They never.they didn't like it when I went to school. I left in the eighth grade. That was when.when Victor wanted me."

Fuck, I gotta kill him, and soon. I'm just gettin' more and more pissed off at that fucker. "He ain't gonna be able to get at you here." A shrug? Wonder why she don't believe that? "He ain't."

"He'll find me eventually. He said he'd never let me go. I've tried.I've tried to get away before."

"Yeah, well, he's gonna hafta go through me this time. And that asshole hasn't been able to beat me yet. He ain't ever gonna lay a hand on you again, I swear."

"Do you mean that?"

"Hell, yeah." I mean, I'm not usually one for promisin' things and shit. I don't even like to make promises to people here, people that I've known for years. I don't think I ever have, as a matter of fact. But this, I'm gonna promise. This, I'm gonna do. 'Cause she needs me. She really, really needs me, and I can promise her this.

"Thanks, Logan." Smilin' again. That's better. That's what I like to see.

"No." That's Marie. Gotta be. And shit-it's two a.m. Nightmare, probably. "Nooooo.."

I wasn't too keen on the idea of leavin' the door connectin' our rooms unlocked 'cause I coulda been the one wakin' her with my nightmares, and I wouldn't want her to come over and get accidentally stabbed or somethin', but now I'm glad we did leave it open. Means I can just go right over and-whoa, she's *really* havin' a nightmare. Cryin' in her sleep, twistin' the sheets all up. Must be bad.

"Marie? Marie, wake up. You're havin' a bad dream." I don't wanna shake her shoulder or somethin' 'cause it might scare her. Besides, I don't know if her skin is on or off, and I bet if she got a head fulla me all of a sudden, that wouldn't help. "Marie?"

"No!" Whoa. Sat up like a shot. She's awake now. "Oh.Logan?"

"Yeah, darlin'. Right here. You were havin' a bad dream." Wonder if I should sit on the bed with her. Don't know if that'd be better or worse.

"Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry."

Gonna try sittin'. "It's all right. I get nightmares sometimes too. No problem." I think sittin's better, not worse. "You wanna talk about it?" Now, I can tell you for sure that I've never used that phrase before in my life. But I kinda wanna fix it for her. And I've got a lotta nightmare-dealin'-with experience. Maybe I can help.

"N-not really. It was bad."

"Yeah. It's OK. I mean, it's OK now. You're safe here. Whatever it was, I'm not gonna let it happen, all right?" She still looks a little sleepy or confused or out of it or somethin' I can't quite -

"Logan..why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you promise me? Why are you doing all this for me?"

Now that's a damn good question. And one I'm not sure I got an answer for. "Dunno. Just wanted to. I like you." Oh, good one, Logan. That explains it all, doesn't it? I sound like some kinda moron.

"I like you too. That's why I did it. You were-I didn't want you to be hurt. That's why I did it." She sounds so sure, so positive about that. Weird.

"I'm glad you did. I hate drownin' the worst. Electrocution's the next worst."

"But you didn't die-is it-is your mutation like Victor's?"

How to handle this one? I don't want her thinkin' anythin' about me is like him, but it kinda is. "I heal. I got good senses. But I have a few things he don't-there's metal bonded to my whole skeleton-makes me pretty unbreakable, pretty strong. Plus, I've got better claws. Different ones. These." Hope that don't startle her. I just put 'em out a little.

"How did you get those?" I don't think I scared her with 'em, she's just lookin'.

"Bunch of doctors, experimentin' on me. They did the skeleton thing too."

"Oh my God, that's.that's awful." Now, I didn't mean for that to happen-for her to get all sad about it. She looks like she could cry.

"Aw, now, don't be upset. Nothin' to be done 'bout it now. It's not that bad." Still frownin'. Maybe I should-oh, OK, she is. She's scootin' over toward me to give me a hug. Skin must be off. "Hey, it's OK."

"I'm sorry." I don't know for what. I mean sorry about me bein' experimented on, her wakin' me up, or what? She ain't got nothin' to be sorry for.

"It's all right." That pretty much covers whatever she could be thinkin'. "Do you wanna go back to sleep?" 'Cause she's still huggin' me. Maybe she don't wanna talk about it, but maybe she just wants to be hugged a little. Bet neither one of those fuckers ever hugged her.

"No. Can you-can you stay just a little while?" Yeah, that's it. She does wanna be hugged. Well, that's OK. That's takin' care of her and I promised to do that. It's fine.

"Sure. Why don't we-why don't we lay down, OK? That way, you can fall asleep if you decide you wanna."

"OK." Real shaky. But I think this is helpin'. She's such a nice girl. Such a bright girl and a pretty girl. Brave, too. Makes you wonder why anyone, even those two, would fuck her over like that. I mean, if she was yours to take care of, your daughter or whatever, why wouldn't you? Shit, I don't even know her and here I am, wantin' to make it all better for her, wantin' to-hey-I got an idea.

"You mind if I talk a little?" I think she liked hearin' me go on a little bit before. Takes the pressure offa her somehow when I do it. That might help her relax.

"No." Yeah, I was right. Her body relaxed a little right now.

"Ya know, I was thinkin'. It might not be such a bad idea to just leave the connectin' door open a while. Just in case you need me for somethin'. And that way, I could kinda see you and you could see me. But-but not in a bad way. You'd still have your privacy and all. But just in case. Whaddya think?" Noddin' her head against my chest. I think that'll make her a little more secure to be able to always see me, and know I'm there. I'll feel better too.

"I was thinkin' 'bout somethin' else too. If-if you don't wanna take classes, there's some evening classes that Scooter teaches. You know, the one with the glasses? It's mechanical repairs and shit, so I don't know if you'd like it, but it's more practical kinda stuff. Just in case you didn't wanna do the school thing. I thought of somethin' else too-there's lotsa books in Chuck's library. I don't really care much for readin', but if you did, you could do some of that. And there's self-defense classes. Or I could teach ya some of that. Might just be good to know." Tensed up a little at that. Well, duh. She don't wanna think about why she might hafta defend herself, and against who. Shit. Fucked up a little there. "Not that you're gonna hafta do that. Just if you wanted to know or somethin'."

"What do you do when you're not fighting?"

"Hang out. Watch sports. Drink beer. Fuck with Scooter. Work out. Stay the hell to myself."

"Can I do that too?"

"Sure, if you wanna."

"I do. At least-at least for a while. If it's OK, I'll just stick close to you for a while." Shoulda figured that. I really shoulda. 'Course she's gonna wanna do what I do.

"Sounds good to me. I could use someone to watch hockey with." I honestly could 'cause Scooter's got shit for taste in teams, and no one else likes hockey but him.

"I don't know anything about it." Uncertain, shaky whisper there.

"Don't worry. I can teach ya." And that actually sounds like fun. "It ain't hard to get into-it's a great sport."

"Mmmm." A-ha! Gettin' sleepy. It worked, she *is* relaxed like this. Good. Go on, drift off, Marie. I gotcha.

"That was icing, right?" She catches on fast. This is only about her fifteenth game. Took me longer than that to be able to spot icin' on TV.

"Yeah. And that's hookin'-but the ref missed it."

"The refs suck." Teasin', with that little scrunched up nose of hers. She's really settlin' in. It's been three weeks, and she's a lot more comfortable. Still sticks pretty close to me, but I kinda like that. She's good to have around. I wouldnta believed it, but there actually *is* one person in the whole world that I am compatible with.

"Pass me the chips, huh?" Life's been pretty good, in fact. Oh, I know Jeannie and Chuck-they've got their reservations about Marie. They think she's too clingy to me, too quiet, too this, too that. Jeannie thinks I'm havin' some kinda unhealthy relationship with her and Chuck thinks she needs to learn to trust other people. They don't really get it. Marie's-yeah, she's clingy to me, and yeah, I'm not discouragin' that-but Marie needs that now. She needs one person she knows she can trust. And the rest'll take care of itself eventually.

And I think they're both kinda off base. I mean, they haven't gone into Marie's head, and they don't know her like I do. She's kinda quiet and a little bit of a loner 'cause that's how she is. Not just 'cause of what happened to her. It's just part of her personality-and, OK, maybe what happened to her shaped that or changed it, but it's how she is now. Why push her to be somethin' she's not? Shit, let her just feel good, feel comfortable for a while. You don't hafta be pushin' her to better herself all the damn time.

And Jeannie and the unhealthy relationship thing-to hear her tell it, I'm takin' some kinda advantage of Marie or leadin' her on or somethin'. I dunno why she thinks that. I like Marie, she likes me. I dunno what's gonna happen with that. I mean, I ain't plannin' anythin' except to take care of her like I promised. That's all. Why can't things just be that simple? Just 'cause Marie and me sleep in the same bed now, they think there's somethin' sexual goin' on. It ain't like that, and what kinda asshole would I be to pull some shit like that on her, knowin' how topsy-turvy she is right now, knowin' what she's comin' out of? That pissed me off. Jeannie should at least know me better than that.

But then again, I don't really spend any time with her or Chuck. Or Scooter (well, naturally) or 'Ro. They don't really know me that much. So I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that they think wrong thoughts about me. Wouldn't really give a shit, but I don't like the idea of Marie maybe thinkin' those things, or people havin' wrong thoughts about Marie. 'Cause to hear Jeannie tell it, Marie's some kinda lost little kid. And OK, maybe that's true, but Marie's also a lotta other things. I mean, she kicked ass on Sabretooth, she survived bein' raised by those two fuckheads and came outta the experience a pretty damn good person. That takes a shitload of strength, inner strength. Marie's not weak. Not at all. Just 'cause she lets herself need me a little and sticks by me don't mean she is. Just means that she wants to get a little of the good stuff-safety, trust, protection, carin'. Nothin' wrong with that, and I like givin' it to her. I do good at it, and 'things I do good at' is a pretty short list.

"Want another beer?" Commercial break equals beer break. That's a central hockey principle that I am glad to see Marie pickin' up on.

"Sure, if you're headed for the kitchen."

"Yeah. I want more Sprite." Little smile. Those're happenin' more and more often. That's a good sign. And I think it's a sign that I'm right about all this shit.

"But, Logan-"

"I gotta go, Marie." Gotta go? More like I can't wait to fuckin' go-Sabretooth and Mystique attackin' some political event. It's a prime chance to ass-kick just the asses I'm dyin' to kick. "Sit tight and don't worry. I'll be back."

"Please be careful." She's petrified. Shit, hate to leave her like that, but-I gotta go.

"I will. I'll be back." Just a little hug and a forehead-kiss. Now I really gotta go.

"Be careful!" Marie's gonna stand there watchin' until the plane takes off, I bet. I know she's worried, I do, but I'll be fine. And I'll come back to her.

I still can't believe those motherfuckers got away. I mean, this is gettin' ridiculous. It's just-

"Logan?"

"Yeah, it's me." Whoa. That's a helluva tight hug. And she's been cryin', I can smell it all over her. Shit, she took it harder than I thought. She never likes it when I go out to fight-I mean, on missions, that's what Chuck calls it, out on a mission-but goin' out for Sabretooth really messed with her. "Hey, it's OK. I'm fine. I'm back."

"I missed you." Still cryin' a little. "I was worried."

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry. But I'm fine, Marie, really." She's not gonna be lettin' go any time soon. "Hey, darlin'. Show me those pretty eyes." There we go. "Don't cry. I'm here."

"Sorry. I just was so worried."

"It's OK. I'm sorry too, 'cause we didn't get 'em. They got away. I'm sorry."

"It's OK, it's OK, it doesn't matter. All I care about is you." Aw, that's-that's kinda nice to come home to. I know it's upsettin' to her and all, but that's nice to hear.

"I got some good shots in. Almost decapitated him, as a matter of fact. Couldn't quite get his head off, though."

"Are you sure you're OK? You weren't hurt?"

Well, yeah, I was, but I healed, so no need to upset her more. "Nothin' bad. I'm OK, darlin'. I'm fine." She needs to hear it. Doesn't matter how many times I hafta say it, I know she still needs to hear it a lot.

"I'm so glad you're back. I'm so glad you're all right." More tight huggin'. She's touchy. Well, with me. Just with me. She really actually don't like other people touchin' her, just me, but she sure works overtime on touchin' me. I think it's 'cause I've never touched her in a bad way or nothin'. Never in a way that'd make her feel bad. Never have, never will.

"How 'bout lettin' me get outta this leather, OK? Come on-come on in to the other room with me while I change." Now it's 'the other room'-usedta be my room, but we both use her bed and bathroom, so now it's just kinda the other room. I kept my clothes in here, and some other stuff-motorcyle magazines, cigars, whatever-and we leave the door open. Makes for a nice suite.

"I'm sorry to be so"

"It's fine, Marie. You know that." She's had a lotta Chuck and Jeannie fillin' her head with ideas about what she should do and say and think and feel. I don't think she takes it too much to heart, and they mean well. But they tell her she overreacts to little things, and I know that she can't help it right now. Everythin's still kinda unstable in her life and little things-well, they can be big things when you just plain don't have that much to hang on to. I kinda try to balance Jeannie and Chuck out. I just tell her whatever she does is OK.

"Yeah. But I still-I don't want to be so emotional all the time."

"Why not?" Man, my body's stiff. Almost sore. I really did kinda take a beatin'. Fuckin' Sabretooth.

"I don't want you to get impatient with it, with me."

"I'm not." I never really worry too much about her seein' me naked. She don't seem to have a reaction to it, just acts normal when it happens. I mean, I don't go outta my way to go naked in fronta her. But it happens. She don't have a reaction to me seein' her naked either. I think that's good-means she's comfortable around me. And she's usually careful to stay not-naked around me. But, like I said, sometimes it happens when you live together.

"Well.OK. Thanks."

"No problem." She's pretty understandin' of me, after all. I do lotsa stuff that other people probably wouldn't deal too damn well with. Smokin', swearin', short fuckin' temper, I like drinkin', I like fightin', I like to spend the whole damn day just by ourselves most of the time. If you put all that into one of those personal ads, I bet you wouldn't get a single response.

"Do you-would you like me to get the kinks out of your shoulders?" She did that once before, without askin'. Just started doin' it while we were sittin' on her bed. At first, I don't think she even thought about it, but a few minutes in, she caught herself and stopped and asked if it was OK. I told her sure-and I wonder still why she even asked that, and why she's askin' now.

"Yeah. That'd be good-let's go back to the bed, though." That way, we can both just fall asleep if we want. "Hey, Marie-you know, you don't hafta ask if it's OK."

"I just-I wonder what you think about my skin sometimes. It could be a little scary to be around."

"Nah."

"And I don't want you to think.I guess I just don't want you to think I'm doing something wrong or not what you want."

"Huh?"

"I know you're not-Jean and Chuck, they always remind me that you're not-that we shouldn't be involved that way. That you're not looking for that, just trying to be nice to me and-"

"Stop right there. Darlin', why the hell would you listen to that? I thought we talked about this before, and I said that you and me decide what kinda thing we're gonna have."

"Yes, but-"

"It ain't like I'm hangin' out 'cause of that. I promised to take care of you and I am, but I like you and you like me, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"So there it is. I ain't lookin' to complicate things by thinkin' about it all the damn time-pokin' at it, analyzin' it, or some shit. So don't listen to that, huh? They mean well and everythin', but what they actually know about you or me couldn't fill a teacup, you know?" Not even one of those pansy-ass ones Chuck has. I gotta have another little talk with them, that I can tell.

"I don't want to really work it over either, I just want to do it. Let's - let's just do it, whatever we feel like." There we go. That's more like it. She's brightenin' up a lot now.

"Yeah." And it's been goin' good, so why fuck it all up? We've been sleepin' together, spendin' most of our time together, a little huggin', a little kissin'-not even with tongue or anythin', mostly not even on the mouth, just real sweet kissin'. There's nothin' wrong with any of that for either me or her, so who the hell else's business is it? Yeah, I definitely gotta have another little talk with them.

"Don't you see that she's coming to you out of her fears? Because you're the only one she perceives as safe?" I hate it when Jeannie gets that 'duh, even a blind moron would know what I'm talkin' about' tone in her voice. I really do. "Logan, it's not-she's too vulnerable now to think about what she wants, she's just reacting, and you're enabling her codependence on you by-"

"Jesus Christ, you sound like a fuckin' self-help book."

"It wouldn't hurt you to read a few." Snarky. Very snarky. That short temper of mine? It just got a little shorter.

"She's an adult. I sure as hell am too. It's not anybody's business but hers and mine and I'd appreciate it if you stayed outta this." That's the national anthem before the game too-merely traditional. Not gonna affect the outcome.

"Logan, have you ever thought that you're reacting to her so strongly, allowing yourself to be so drawn in by her, because you perceive her as safe too?" That don't make no sense.

"I ain't afraid of nobody."

"Think about it. She's helpless. She'd never do anything to even mildly upset you for fear of losing your approval and affection. She poses no threat to you whatsoever. I think you're looking for that-someone non-threatening to care about, someone who won't give you the challenges or rewards of a real relationship. It's the same reason teenage girls like boy bands-it's safe to have a crush on someone who'll never be able to hurt you, not really."

"What?" I know she's not comparin' me to a bunch of screamin' girls at a Backstreet Boys concert. 'Cause that shit I'd hafta claw her for. Seriously.

"I'm saying that you're getting closer to her because she's a safe option, just like you are for her. Instead of having to work through the uncertain and sometimes unsettling issues that occur in adult relationships, you are both retreating to a 'sanctuary' of sorts in one another."

"And you're sayin' that's a bad thing?" She lost me about five big words ago.

"Yes, Logan, it's a bad thing. Because eventually, you will both tire of this relationship. It won't fulfill your emotional needs. It's inevitable. She'll grow. Even if she's not lying about her age, she's still very young. Eighteen. She'll be a whole different person in a few years. So might you. You'll tire of not being able to have a sexual relationship eventually. It's bound to happen."

"I don't think so."

"What?" Oh, come on, try and follow along, Dr. Grey.

"I said I don't think it's bound to happen. Yeah, she'll change, I'll change, but why wouldn't the relationship change too? I mean, it's not like who I am as a person or who she is basically is gonna change that much. When we want or need different things outta the relationship, why wouldn't it change with us?" I think that made sense. Didn't sound like it came outta one of those self-help books, but it makes sense to me.

"But what if it doesn't? What then? Do you know how much you'll both be hurt?"

"Aw, shit, Jeannie, that's a risk with any two people. At least with us, we know we're gonna play fair with one another no matter what. At least we know we're gonna be honest with each other. What the hell else can you ask for?"

"And what about the sexual aspects? Do you seriously think it's fair to ask her to enter a sexual relationship anytime soon given what she's been through?"

"No."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what do you plan to do about that?"

"Wait and see."

"Wait?"

"Yeah. Somethin' wrong with your hearin'? Wait." I don't mean to be all shitty, but it pisses me off that people see me as some 'can't-live-without-doin'-it' kinda guy. I like sex, and OK, maybe I like havin' it a little more often than the next guy, but, shit, I'm not some kinda sex manic.

"It could take years for her to even be remotely ready for that. Are you willing to wait *years*?"

All right, that's it. "First off, quit talkin' to me like I'm stupid. I don't have a fancy degree or shit, but I ain't stupid. Second, yeah, years. Third, I ain't some asshole. I ain't gonna up and split or step out on her with another woman just 'cause she's still got some shit to go through. And I'm tired of you and Chuck and probably everybody else thinkin' those things about me. I don't get why you can't see that maybe this is good. Maybe it's a good thing for us two. That's what I think it is, and her too, when you're not fillin' her head full of crap. So stay out of it. Leave it alone. Like I said, we're two adults, and that's all there is to the whole damn thing. It's nobody else's business but our own."

"Logan-"

"Enough, Jeannie." That's it, I'm done talkin'. I'm outta here. "Enough."

"I was talking to Marie, Logan. I would appreciate a response from her." Chuck's pissin' me off. Demanded to talk to her. Then gave me shit when I wanted to come along. She fuckin' asked me to 'cause Chuck makes her nervous. She's not gonna say anythin' different than if I wasn't here at all, she'll just freak a lot less, that's all.

"I.I.."

"It's all right, Marie, just say what's on your mind." It's not that easy for her, dickhead. And I hope he heard that.

"II .I think you're wrong."

"Thank you for being so candid, Marie. But may I ask why that is?" It's 'cause you *are* wrong, Chuck.

"I'm not.I'm..I don't want to really talk about it." As if that weren't obvious. You don't hafta be a telepath to see that one.

"It might make you feel better if you did. You can trust me, Marie."

"But I don't know you." Chuck just don't get it. He thinks 'cause he's got good intentions, 'cause he's a real great guy, that everyone should just trust him, just like that. But not everyone's like that.

"I understand, Marie, I do. And I realize that you're a very private person. But I think it's important that we talk about what you plan to do next. You may want to reconsider school." She hasn't told him nothin' about that and I'm not gonna even think about what she told me about it right now just in case. I know she's embarrassed about it, and how that asshole Sabretooth played in, and I know that she really, really *don't* wanna fuckin' talk about it.

"She already said she don't want more school. She said she's done. Let it go."

"Logan, as I said, I would appreciate it if Marie-"

"She did answer you, Chuck."

"Logan-"

"Stop it. Stop it." Marie's not likin' this.

"All right, all right, Marie. But I must ask that if you are going to continue to stay here, that you make a plan for yourself. If not school, then perhaps a job or-"

"What're you sayin'? You're gonna put her out if she don't come up with a plan?" That really pisses me off 'cause he knows damn well her mom and Sabretooth are still fuckin' out there. What the hell is she supposedta do, huh?

"I did not say that. But I think it is best for Marie to-"

"You didn't say it, but you said 'if you're gonna stay here' so whaddya mean by that?" I hate it when he dances around like that. Fuckin' say what you mean.

"I don't think it will be constructive to allow Marie to stay without asking her to plan for her future, without asking her to move forward."

"She is movin' forward." Don't he see how much more she talks? How much more she smiles? She's workin' through shit too-she's talked to me about a few things, about a little bit of it.

"I'm-I'm trying.." Now she feels bad. Good job, Chuck. And I hope you fuckin' heard that too.

"I know you are, Marie, and we want to help you. I believe this will help."

"You're pushin' her and that ain't gonna help."

"Logan, please. I was speaking with Marie." Asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole. "Please give this some thought. Let's speak again tomorrow."

"O-OK." She's lookin' at me all uncertain. Fuck. She probably feels like she just got the rug pulled out from under her. Chuck shouldnta said nothin' about 'if she's gonna stay' 'cause now she's thinkin' he'll just make her do shit, and if she doesn't, some bad shit is gonna happen. Probably sounds fuck-all too familiar to her. Goddammit.

"You've been real quiet." Hasn't said five words since we came back from Chuck's office. Noddin' yes. Now we're pretty much back to noddin'. She's fallin' back on that 'cause she's scared. "Chuck won't put you out. Even if you don't do the plan or whatever. He won't put you out." Frown. Shrug. "I wouldn't let him do that." Frown. "What do you wanna do?"

"I.I think I should go."

Whoa. Hang on there. That's-I don't think that's an option. "I don't think you should go."

"But I'm scared." That came out in a whisper.

"Of what, darlin'?" Frown. Sigh. "You know I won't let nothin' happen to ya. You know I'll be here to look out for you."

"I don't want..I just." Frustrated sigh.

"Take your time."

"I don't want to stay because I can't do what everybody wants and everybody thinks I'm weird and nobody really understands and I really, really like being with you but I don't want to get you in trouble because of me and if I have to leave because I can't do what he wants then you'll be upset too."

"OK." That was the most she's said at once, ever, and it all came out in a rush. It's really upsettin' her and I kinda don't blame her. I gotta say somethin' back to that. "No one's gonna make you leave. Chuck won't. He really won't. I know you don't trust him, but he honestly didn't mean it that way. But I understand what you're sayin', I understand how it feels to you to hear that." Noddin'. "And hey, I'm not in any trouble 'cause of you. Not a single bit, and even if I was, it's OK. I can handle a helluva lot more trouble than you'd ever bring me. I'm not gonna be upset about anythin' and, uh, I don't think you're weird at all." Smile. Good. Good. That came out OK. Now the big thing. Idea popped into my head even before this whole thing with Chuck, but I didn't wanna do anything to shake her up or pull away any stability. But after what just happened, after what she just said, I think it's right to offer this. I do.

"Look, I understand why you might be uncomfortable stayin' here and we can stay, no problem, but there's another thing we can do. It's just an idea, Marie, and you tell me what you think. I got a place, up in Canada. It's a real little place, and it's not too nice. But I own it and we could go there for a while if you want. It'd be just you and me." Had the cabin for a few years now. I go there sometimes, it's nice and quiet. It'll be roughin' it a little, but we'll be OK up there, I think. Wonder what Marie's thinkin.

"What about fighting? What about the x-men?"

"They can wait a while." Chuck won't like it. He'll fuckin' hate it probably, but not 'cause I'm leavin' the x-men for a while. 'Cause of what he thinks about me and Marie. I can hear it already-it's not a good idea, she's vulnerable and she needs all of us to help her get better, she'll just get more and more attached to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chuck's a real smart guy, but even smart guys get it wrong once in a while. And I promised to take care of her. Not Chuck, me. I get that job.

"OK, Logan. If you want to, OK."

"It's so beautiful up here." She's been fascinated by snow, the whole trip up. Loves seein' it snow, loves playin' with it, loves to stomp through it on the ground. You'd think she'd have seen a shitload of snow livin' in Alaska with those two fuckers, but, on the other hand, maybe they never let her play in it. Maybe they never let her outside at all. Maybe-no, no, best just not to think too much more about it 'cause then I'll end up breakin' somethin'.

"Well, I like it." There, that's a nice, non-breakin'-stuff response. I am glad she likes it up here too and that she don't seem too put off by the cabin. I wasn't sure how she'd take to it. It's kinda primitive. But she seems fine with it. In fact, she's seemed pretty happy all around.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Logan." Comin' over just to hug me. That's cute. And she's been doin' a lot of it. Not that I mind, or anythin'.

"No problem. I got the fire goin' in there. Wanna head in?"

"Sure." One last squeeze. God, she's happy. She's really happy. I knew this'd be the right thing for her.

"I put some dinner on. Just stew-canned stuff. I'll start huntin' fresh food tomorrow." Maybe try to get a deer. They're pretty tasty, but not too many up this high. Maybe some rabbits.

"What can I do?"

You know, I really hadn't given much thought to that. I just want her to get better, I guess. But I bet she'd like somethin' to do, to feel like she's helpin'. "Um, maybe you could gather some wood or somethin'. Tomorrow, whenever you feel like it."

"OK."

"Feelin' good here, huh?" Big noddin'. "I know Chuck and Jeannie said some stuff to ya about this maybe bein' a bad idea." Frown. "But I think it's gonna suit us fine." I know they tried to talk her into stayin' at the mansion, but I coulda told 'em that'd never work. She'd wanna go where I was, and they sure as shit couldn't talk me into stayin'. No, this was the right thing for her.

"Logan? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"It's a hard question." She says that now sometimes, just to warn me it might take a while for her to get it out or that it might not come out quite right.

"OK."

"Do you think..about me, I mean, do you think about me" Little frustrated sigh there. Oh-oh. There's a determined look to her now. Gatherin' up her courage. "Love. Do you love me?" Wincin', waitin' for my answer, all tense. Well, no need to keep her waitin'.

"Yeah, 'course, darlin'." I know we used to talk in terms of 'like'-I like her, she likes me. That was easy for us to say to each other, and it was true. Still is, but there's more now. I know it and she knows it. Might as well say it out loud.

"In a good way, right?" So sad that she hasta ask that. This is just one of the many times I'm reminded how very much I wanna fuckin' kill Sabretooth. Who knows what kind shit he said to her while he was doin' what he did? She's told me a little bit about it, enough for me to know I could kill him a hundred times and it wouldn't be a fraction of the punishment he deserves.

"That's right, in a good way."

"I-I do too. Love you. I love you. In a good way. Not-not in a scary way."

Hmmm. "Scary to me or to you?" I wanna be sure I understand what she's sayin' here 'cause I can tell it's important to her.

"To me. It's not scary to me. It doesn't feel bad and I'm not-I'm not ever afraid of you."

I gotta go over and hug her for that. I really do. "Good. You won't ever be, I promise."

"Do you want to..do things with me?" Jeannie did say to maybe expect this-Marie might be thinkin' I've got some hidden or unconscious reasons to be haulin' her off where it's just the two of us. And she might think I expect things. I don't think that's exactly what she's thinkin' here, but it's somethin' like that. And the way she's hangin' on to me tight, the way she's buryin' her head in my chest-I can tell it's been weighin' on her mind.

"Yeah, I do, but there's no hurry. We got plenty of time." Part of me thinks I shouldn't do nothin' with her, nothin' more than we already have done, but I'm not sure that's quite right either. I figure I'll let Marie go first, let her show me what she wants.

"I was thinking you might want to do some things with me, and I want you to know it's OK with me if you do. I don't mind." Aw, that just about breaks my heart, that little whisper.

"Hey, kid, I mean it, there's no rush. We can do things when you want, it's OK. I-I don't want you not to mind, Marie, I wanna wait until you *want* to." To tell you the truth, I don't really think of her sexually-well, not in the usual way. I don't think of her naked or about having sex with her. Well, I hardly think about that. I think more about her like - wantin' her close, wantin' to hold her, wantin' to see her smile. At first, I kinda thought that meant I didn't love her-well, not like man/woman love. But after a while, I realized that maybe I did. Maybe I did but it was a nice thing, a good thing, like she said. Maybe it wasn't outta want or lust or even need. Maybe it was just comin' outta somethin' different, somethin' clean.

"What if I don't want to, um, ever? I mean, not that I don't or wouldn't or-"

"I understand. I do." She's just scared. "And I think you probably will wanna do stuff. What-what things do we do now that you like?"

"I like kissing you a lot. You know, with mouths open." Look at that-I've never seen her blush before. Oh, damn, she looks just gorgeous like that.

"Me too." That's really the only thing that I'm gonna get to come outta my mouth at the moment. Most of the brain function's still occupied by takin' the look of her in.

"And I like kissing you all over."

"Me too." I especially like it when she kisses my neck. I think she likes kissin' my back best for some reason.

"I like it when you kiss me all over." Just her face and neck, a little on her shoulders and tummy, that's all. But I'm glad she likes it.

"That's probably my favorite thing, darlin'."

"You know, you're right. I will want to do things." Oh, now that's a look. That just.that just burns right through me. That's love, that right there. And so much trust. "I'm glad I'll get to do them with you."

Just gonna kiss that cute little forehead right now. Just to show her again that it's nice, it's good, and it won't hurt her, ever. Just to show her that it's OK. "Me too, Marie. And I really, really do love you. In a very good way."