Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

Trust No One

Title: Rule Number Two: Trust No One

Author: Terri

E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but by now, they probably own me

Archive: Ask, and I will happily provide

Feedback: Please! With a cherry on top? Good, bad, and ugly welcome

Summary: Sequel to Never Pick Up a Hitchhiker. Logan learns to drive and decides that maybe there's an exception to Rule Number Two.

Comments: When I first learned to drive, my dad made me identify everything under the hood and demonstrate that I could change a tire by myself, so Logan gets off relatively easy here ;) Also-I don't really watch the x-files any more, but I loved the first few seasons, and this episode's rule is obviously taken from that show. I think it kind of fits with how Logan would be, remembering only people torturing him and having no one there to help him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't think I ever ate that much." They had damn near everything at that breakfast buffet. Eggs, bacon, sausages, bread, cereal, yogurt, fruit, pancakes, waffles-you name it, they had it. And I think I ate a bunch of everythin'.

"Well, we definitely got our money's worth." I still dunno quite what to make of her. I mean, what's she doin'? Drivin' around, pickin' me up, takin' me on to Whitehorse. I don't get it. Don't get me wrong, it's nice and all, but I don't understand it. Young, pretty girl like her-she should be somebody's little wife, livin' in some big house, chasin' babies around the backyard. Not out here, drivin' all by herself, pickin' people up and helpin' 'em out. "You ready to get going?"

"Yeah." She's the first person I met so far that ain't scared of me or wantin' to hurt me. At least I don't think she is. I mean, she fell right asleep with me in the room last night. She hasn't tried anythin', and with her skin like she said, she might be able to hurt me if she wanted.

"OK then, I'll check out if you want to get our things from the room." I hate that she's payin' the bills for all this. I do. I shoulda said I'd sleep out in the car, and washed the clothes out with soap in the bathtub or somethin'. I don't like owin' anybody, and I already owed her a lot before we even checked in to this place. But it's just that-I was on the road for so long, and she made it sound so good-warm bed, shower, clean clothes, all taken care of-well, I couldn't resist. I'll find a way to pay her back, no question.

"OK."

"Meet you at the Jeep." She said somethin' to me about helpin' her drive, and I kinda didn't say too much, just nodded or somethin'. I don't think I remember how to drive.

"Yeah." Gotta take the elevator up. She's headed for the check-out desk and fishin' for money in her purse. God, I hate that. I gotta find some way of payin' her back and soon.

I fuckin' hate elevators. Those bastards-they kept me in some kinda closed-up steel cage, I remember that. Elevators remind me of that. Gives me the creeps. I dunno why I told her about all that. Probably shouldnta. Now, she's probably thinkin'-look at him, got experimented on, metal all in his hands, big-ass claws, he's some kinda freak, not even a normal mutant like me. I bet that's what she's thinkin' but she's too nice to say. She seems like a real nice person.

OK, got her bag of stuff and mine-she even had them wash the bag itself-and I think that's it. Jeep should be out back. Maybe I'll take the stairs this time. I don't mind goin' down seven flights-better than bein' in that damn elevator.

I guess I'm a little anxious about drivin' with her some more, but I'm not sure why. I mean, she's probably gonna be pretty much the same this time as she was when we were drivin' before, so nothin' to worry about. I think she'll just, you know, talk a little, and if I wanna talk, fine. Which is good. What she did last time though-when she reached out and took a hold of my hand-I wonder if she'll do that ever again. I mean, she did it twice last time, and after she saw the claws. I can't-I just can't get over how she did that, knowin' the claws are right under there. Why ain't she scared to do that? And I wonder if she knows how warm her hand feels and how soft, even thorough gloves and everythin'. She's got a real nice touch, real gentle.

"Hey. Thanks." I guess she wants these in the back-she popped the little hatch. "Do you want to drive first or me?"

"Um, you." She's gonna think I'm an even bigger idiot when I hafta tell her that I don't remember how to drive. I'm hopin' she don't catch on to me not bein' able to read-bastards musta sucked that right out with my memory. I don't want her to go thinkin' I'm stupid or somethin' just 'cause of that.

"OK. Hop in and let's hit the road." She smiles like she's happy about that. I kinda like that. I think-yeah, she is. She is the first person to smile at me.

"So after the first few started selling, it was a lot easier. Now, I've got a regular art dealer in New Orleans, and I just send in what I paint there. When it sells, they let me know and send my share of the money. I guess I was kind of lucky to be successful enough to support myself so early."

"You must be good."

"Well, I think so." She's got a real nice smile. And I like how she jokes a little bit, you know? It's-I dunno what I was like before, really, but I get the idea that I haven't had much of that. "But enough about me, let's talk about something else."

"Do you got any ideas how I can make some money?" Because I should be payin' her back sooner rather than later.

"Um, well, do you paint?" There's the teasin' again. I think I'm smilin' more in the past couple days than I did the past couple months.

"I dunno. Don't think so, though." And I think she even likes it when I smile. I probably look a lot less scary that way.

"Is there anything you think you might like doing?"

"Hmmm. All I've been doin' so far is walkin' and huntin' for food and stuff. I guess I don't really know."

"Well.." She looks like she's sizin' me up, thinkin' it over. "You're big and you look pretty strong, so maybe a job that involves moving things or carrying things or building things-maybe construction or something?"

"I like the idea of buildin' things. Dunno if I'd be good at it."

"You could try it and see. I mean-there's probably a lot of temp jobs or day labor jobs in that field. We could look around in Whitehorse, if you want to try it out." See, I bet she does want me to pay her back. I bet she's kinda worried about the money. "Or-or not. Whatever you'd like."

"No, no. That sounds good." I musta had a look on my face or somethin' there. "You know, I'm good for the money. I know it don't look that way right now, but I'm gonna pay you back."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. That's not why I suggested looking around in Whitehorse. In fact, if I were you, I think I'd wait a while before doing anything-just take some time to relax and get settled a little bit."

"Yeah, but I gotta support myself."

"Well, yes, but you have at least a little time. We can stay in Whitehorse for a while, and I'm pretty good as far as the money goes for the rest of this month and the next. Although-although we couldn't stay in hotels and eat at restaurants too much. We can-we can in Whitehorse for a day or two, but then we'd have to be a little thrifty. I usually just, you know, sleep in the car and buy food from the grocery store. Every week or so, I stay somewhere, just to-just to get a hot shower and a nice bed, you know? We could do that for a while if you wanted."

"I wouldn't feel right about not doin' nothin' that whole time." Even if I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground at the moment, I can't just do nothin'.

"What if-what if you wouldn't be doing nothing? I need help with some things, every now and then, you know-like changing the oil in the Jeep, and rotating the tires, and packaging the paintings, and stuff like that. Would you want to help out with those things? It wouldn't be like a job, but it wouldn't be doing nothing."

"What'd make you do that? What'd make you wanna keep me with you for the next couple months?" I'm beginnin' to wonder whether I'm still back at that damn lab and this is all some kinda dream or hallucination. 'Cause nobody just does that. Nobody just picks somebody up then volunteers to take care of 'em. Especially if it's me.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I like you. Like I said, you're-you're good company. We seem pretty compatible so far. I mean, it's not-it's not a contract or anything. If it's not working out, we can go our separate ways. And if you still wanted to work or get a job or whatever, you could do day labor wherever you could find it. It's not really a big deal. It's not that much more expensive for two people than it is for one. You've still got a lot of costs that are the same-gas, car maintenance, motel rooms are practically the same, food won't be that much more and neither will laundry. It's not really a big deal."

She's wrong about that. It's a pretty huge deal. Maybe this is-it could just be a lotta good luck comin' my way to balance out the shitty things that have happened. I dunno. But it is a big deal, at least it is to me. I just gotta figure out what's the right thing to do here. Maybe - maybe it would be OK-not for months, but, maybe just the rest of this week or somethin'. Just until I figure some shit out. She's right, it's not a contract, and if I see that it isn't workin' out for her, that I am dead weight, well, then, I can always bail. I wouldn't mind takin' a few days to just be OK. To just drive around with her and eat regular meals and shit. I kinda want to. And I can do what she said after that-get day jobs along the way. I'll contribute and support us that way, and by figurin' out how to do the things she said about the Jeep and whatever. It ain't-it still ain't quite right, it ain't fair to her 'cause she's pullin' most of the load, but once I get on my feet, I can pay her back and maybe help her out a little too. You know, 'cause it is a big thing she's doin' for me. I realize that.

"Logan?"

"Oh. Uh. Thinkin'. Sorry."

"OK." Ya know, she's incredibly-I dunno, somethin'. 'Cause she hasn't been freaked out by the claws, she picked me up lookin' god-awful and probably smellin' that way too, and she's had nothin' but nice things for me. You know, stuff she says and does. I dunno what that is, but she's a lot of it. Look at her now, just patiently waitin' for me to finish thinkin' it through, smilin' at me a little, real nice. I think-I think what she said before musta been true. We are compatible and we were both a little bit lonely.

"Maybe just for now, you know, the rest of the week or somethin'. Not that long, not months. Not-not that we can't stick together, if you wanna, but I gotta be doin' somethin'-real work-pretty soon." I think that's right, I think that's good.

"Sounds good to me. Whatever you think. I'm glad-well, I think it'll be nice to just spend the rest of the week relaxing."

"Yeah."

"So, do you think you might want to drive for a while?" Shit, I shoulda thought she mighta asked that since we pulled over to make a stop. She just slowed down and drifted over to the side of the road without sayin' anythin'. For a second there, I thought she was gonna put me outta the car, thought she changed her mind about Whitehorse. But she just said she had to pee, real shy, almost embarrassed. I was so fuckin' relieved I didn't think about anythin' else. I shoulda thought she'd ask me to drive.

"Uh." I guess I should just fuckin' tell her. She's gonna keep askin' and she'll find out eventually. And she probably realizes I'm not too damn bright already. I told her I don't remember and everythin'-maybe she won't be too pissed. "I, uh, don't really remember how."

"Oh! Sorry-I didn't think about that. Sorry." She don't look too put off, but that was probably part of the reason she was takin' me along, to help out with the drivin'. She's gotta be a little disappointed. "Well, I could teach you, if you want. It's pretty easy to learn, and it might be a skill you want to have."

She says that just like it's not a big deal, you know, that I dunno how to do it already. Huh. I bet-I bet she'd be a good teacher. "OK."

"Great! Well, why don't you get in the driver's side, and I'll show you what's what. Oooh-wait. First, let me show you a little bit about the car. I'll just pop the hood." OK, learning to drive. Not a big deal. She's not actin' like it's a big deal, so it's not. Just gotta learn to do somethin' new. I can do that, I think. "This is a Jeep Cherokee. It's got a four-liter, in-line six cylinder engine. That's what this thing right here is. I've had it for two years, and it hasn't been burning any oil so far, but if it does, and you need to add oil, it goes in here. Do you-do you remember anything about how an engine works?"

"A little. I guess. It runs the car, right?" It's weird what stayed with me and what didn't. Fuckers musta really did a number on me. Most people know things like readin' and drivin', and I bet I did before. I don't think I was a total dumbass.

"Right and it needs oil or it'll seize up and the car won't run. And the radiator is here. It heats and cools the engine. I did have a problem with leaking. But I checked all these little hoses going in and out and they seemed OK. So I just put a can of stop-leak, this stuff that's supposed to-well, it's self-explanatory, huh? That seemed to have fixed the leak problem. But antifreeze goes in here if it starts leaking again."

"Uh-huh." You know, I like how she's explainin' it so far. Tellin' me all the practical stuff, what goes where, what to do if somethin' isn't workin' right to keep the car runnin'.

"There's only one belt, and I put a new one on when I bought the car, so that should be OK. The brake fluid's here, you can check the transmission fluid there-it should be kind of reddish, and if it's brown , we've got a problem. Windshield washer fluid goes here. I think there's one bottle of all of the fluids the car might need in the back, at the bottom of all the stuff. Any questions so far?"

"Nope." It's kinda cute how she's smilin', like she's even kinda enjoyin' this, teachin' me things. Like she don't mind I don't know. She must think I'm kinda stupid but she's not lettin' it show, not at all.

"OK. You want to hop in the driver's side?"

"Sure."

"Make yourself comfortable. There's a lever under your seat to move it. Good. Now, the lights, for when it gets dark, are this little knob here. You pull it out. Um, steering wheel, there, that's the lever for turn signals, that way for left turns, this way for right. This is for the windshield wipers. Intermittent wipers can go faster or slower, just turn this knob here. All these levers on the door control the windows-power windows, and this locks or unlocks all the doors. This one adjusts the side mirrors. Why don't you-why don't you go ahead and fix them so you can see out of them well? The rearview too."

"OK." Not too bad so far. Looks simple.

"All right then. The pedal on your left is brakes. The one on the right is gas. It's automatic transmission, so that'll make it a little easier. This lever here shifts gears. P for park, R for reverse, N for neutral-do you remember neutral?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good. This drive is what you'll usually use and this one is for low gear, when you need more power or more traction. You have to be going at a low speed to use it. This lever beside the gear shift switches the car from 2 wheel drive when it's in this position, to four when it's here, neutral, and four low gear, for when you're going really slow. Any questions about all that?"

"Nope, I think I got it." It all seems kinda familiar, almost like if I could just remember a little bit more, I'd remember this too.

"Well, then go ahead and turn the key in the ignition and I'll hop in the passenger side." OK, got that covered. There we go, car started. It's easy so far. "Now, the important thing in driving is not to hit anything. Don't do that, and everything else will take care of itself."

"OK. So-go now?"

"Sure." She's smilin'. She don't look worried, so she must be pretty sure I can do this. OK. All right. I'll just - shit. I'm doin' somethin' wrong already 'cause-"Oh-I forgot to tell you that. Your foot has to be on the brake or it won't shift out of park. It's a safety feature. Oh yeah, and I forgot something else-use just one foot for both pedals. Trust me, it's easier that way, and if you ever have to drive something with a manual transmission, you'll need the other foot for the clutch." What the hell is a clutch? Guess it's not important since this car don't have one.

"Got it." A-ha! She was right about the brake thing 'cause it shifted now.

"You might want to look for traffic before moving the car. I always do." Still smilin', but she put her seatbelt on. OK, I can look. Nothin' comin'. So that means I can go.

"Shit-sorry!" Too fast, too jerky.

"It's OK, once you get a feel for it, that won't happen. You might want to-since there's nobody else on the road, you might want to try the brakes to get a feel for that too."

"OK." Dammit, jerky too.

"It's OK, you'll get a feel for it." Fuck, fuck, this ain't as easy as I thought. "See? That's smoother. No problem."

"Sorry."

"It's OK-you're doing really well so far. You might want to go a little faster-just in case any traffic comes up on us from behind. We're going a little slow for the highway." Yeah, we're goin', like, thirty kilometers an hour. I can do that, I can go faster. There. Not too bad. Up to fifty. You know, I like how she tells me things-it's always 'you might wanna' or 'that's what I do.' Not-hey, dumbass, go faster. That's nice.

"Uh, Marie? What do I do if I wanna-if I wanna-I saw you move the steering wheel before."

"Oh-there's a little lever to your left, behind the lever-that one, right. Just pull on it and move the steering wheel to where you want it. Sorry-forgot about that. And I forgot about that other lever in front of it, that's for more lights, high beams. Geez, I'm not a very good driving instructor, am I? I forgot all this stuff."

"No, no, you're doin' good. I'm just not-I just don't remember, that's all. You're doin' good."

"Thanks." She's-she touched my leg, just for a second. I wondered if she'd do that again, if she'd touch me. I like how she just does it sometimes, just, you know, boom. It makes it seem it's 'cause she felt like it, 'cause she just wanted to and wasn't thinkin' about the claws or how I could hurt her or nothin'. Just like-"Um, Logan? You might want to keep your eyes on the road while you're driving."

"Right. Sorry." She's not mad at that either, she's smilin'. Well, good. Good. Maybe it's not too hard, drivin'. I think I can get the hang of it.

"Logan?"

Shit, shit. Goddamn nightmare. Shit. I put the claws out. Fuck, and I-oh, shit! Look at that! I clawed up the dashboard and the glove box. Fuck!

"Logan?" Marie-did I-did I get Marie?

"Marie? You OK?"

"I'm fine." Yeah, yeah, she's OK. OK. Good. She was-when we stopped, she went to sleep in the back seat and I went to sleep in front, in the passenger side. I was facing away from her, so I didn't get her. Whew. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Sorry." She wanted me to sleep in back, but I thought she'd be more comfortable back there. If I'd been back there and her up here, I coulda clawed her right through the seat.

"It's OK."

"Sorry." She's gotta be freakin' out. God only knows what I was sayin' or yellin' while I was in the nightmare. And I fucked her car all up. "I'll fix-I'll figure out how to fix the car."

"It's OK, don't worry. Are you sure you're all right? You're sweating and you look a little pale."

"I'm sorry, Marie. I didn't mean to wreck the car and I-"

"Hey. Look at me." I really don't wanna 'cause she's gotta be just-"It's OK, Logan. Nothing-you didn't hit anything vital. It's just the glove compartment. It's OK. Everything's all right." She does look-she almost looks like that's true but I can see a little worry in there and I know she's gotta be scared of me now even if she's not mad about the car and I just hate the fuckin' nightmares and the fact that all that shit is still floatin' around in my head but I can't remember shit about anything else and-"Logan, try to calm, down, OK?"

She's lookin' at my hands. Are they shakin' or somethin'? No, no the claws are still out. Goddammit! "Sorry. Sorry."

"Stop saying that, OK? You don't have to be sorry. It's OK." Oh! She's-she slept in her gloves and she's touchin' my hand again. It's-I can't believe she's doin' that now. After I did all that shit. And she's even rubbin' my hand a little with hers.

"I'll figure out how to fix the car." I dunno what to say. I don't wanna say anythin' that'll make her take her hand away.

"It's OK. It-it gives it some character, you know?" She's jokin' with that. How can she be jokin'? This is all fucked up. "Try to calm down. Take a few deep breaths, OK?"

"I think I can fix it, really, I-"

"Logan." Both hands now. She's holdin' both of my hands now. And rubbin' 'em. "Just breathe. It's OK. I'm not worried about the car. I just want to make sure you're OK, all right?"

"OK." I dunno what to say to make it OK. I just dunno. She-she's been real nice and I went and fucked up her car. She even taught me to drive today and I just go and do this.

"Come on, why don't you-why don't you come and sit with me in the back seat?" Huh? She's-she's-"Come on. Come on back here with me."

"But-"

"Just trust me, Logan, OK? Come back here with me. Come on." I don't trust people. That was one of the very first things I decided. I just couldn't-it's too much of a risk now with me not knowin' nothin' and not knowin' how to do so many damn things. And I bet that's how I wound up in a lab in the first goddamn place. Somebody told 'em I was a mutant, somebody told 'em where to find me, somebody told 'em somethin'. I decided right away that nobody was ever gonna do that to me ever again. Was doin' pretty good at keepin' that up until she picked me up. I told her about the claws and the lab and everythin', but somehow, I just didn't think that was trustin' her. I didn't put it together until she said it out loud. But I am trustin' her, I am, and I just dunno-I dunno if that's OK. It seems like it-she's trustin' me too, if you think about it-but I didn't really mean to do that. "Come on, it's OK."

Maybe it is OK-with just one person. I can pick just one person to trust, if I'm sure they're OK. I'm pretty sure she's OK. I think she is. I'll-I can find out for sure. She's sayin' 'trust me' now, and I can see what she's gonna do. Don't think she's plannin' on hurtin' me, payin' me back for fuckin' up the car or scarin' her, but

"Hey." Smilin' when I opened the door. That's OK. I think that's OK. "Sit facing that way, OK?" Facin' away from her-I wonder why. "Scoot up a little-there." She's movin' me around to-to do what? "Just relax. It's OK. Lean back." Oh, I see. I see. She's holdin' on to me. Her arms are both around my chest and she's pullin' me back to lay on top of her a little. Facin' me away so my claws won't get her. I see. "Is this OK?" It's-she's so warm right up against me like that. "Logan?"

"It's OK." It is-it wasn't bad. She said trust me, and it's OK. Maybe just one person would be OK.

"Just breathe. Just relax. I'm-I'm sorry you had such a bad dream, but it's OK now." Rubbin' me a little even. I don't think-I can't remember anythin' like this before. "I'm just going to put the blanket over us."

"OK." She-she's so warm and her smell is-it's good, real good. It's calmin' me down some.

"Don't worry about anything. I'll be really careful of my skin." I know she will, she always is. She even went to sleep with gloves on, just in case. "Everything will be OK."

"OK." Her heartbeat has a little jump in the rhythm. Just a little one. Not enough to make anythin' bad happen, but enough so that it'd be different from anybody else's. Wonder if she knows that. She just keeps rubbin' me across the chest, real gentle, real nice. And she's got me right up against her, touchin' me all over. She's not afraid and she's not gonna hurt me, she's really not. Just her. I can trust her.

"Hey, you up?"

"Yeah." Rainin' again. Thunder and lightnin' and everythin'. But it's warm here. Real warm and nice. Soft.

"How do you feel?" Oh yeah, Marie. That's the warm and soft.

"Better." I should probably get up offa her. I'm heavy and I fell asleep right on her.

"Good." She looks kinda funny-her hair got all messed up from sleepin'. "I'm glad."

"I am real sorry about the car, you know?" I will find a way to fix it. I will.

"I know. Don't worry about it." I wonder if she's OK, 'cause she just kinda slumped back against the door there. Maybe she didn't sleep too good or somethin'. Maybe she was real uncomfortable with me on top of her like that.

"You doin' OK?"

"Oh, yeah. I just-all the rain is making me want to go back to sleep. I just feel really tired for some reason." Shit, she did have a hard time sleepin' with me like that.

"Why dontcha go back to sleep for a while? I mean, I know you wanna get to Whitehorse today, but if you wanna sleep, go ahead."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" She's lookin' at me like that's some kinda serious question. I dunno-I dunno what the right answer is or what maybe she's really askin'.

"I could." I think that's what she wants. "The rain ain't makin' me wanna get goin' too much either."

"Can I-do you mind if we share the blanket?" Huh. Movin' over to me and-that's it. That's it. She wants to sleep on me for a while. She wants to do that.

"Nah, I don't mind. Do you wanna-here, move over like that. Good." Now she's kinda like I was-but I'm sittin' and she's curled all up on my chest. I can hear her heartbeat real good again. I kinda like that.

"You comfortable?"

"Yeah." Very, very comfortable. "You know, I was thinkin'-I-I owe you a lot."

"No, really, it's-"

"I do, Marie. Insteada-insteada bein' out there in the rain, I'm in here with you, all warm and everythin'. I like-I like that you don't mind me too much. I like that you don't mind havin' me around too much. Even more than, you know, bein' dry and warm and all. I like that."

"I like that too. You're not-you're one of the few people I can be close to without getting afraid of my skin. I like that you're not too scared of it." That came out in a little whisper and I wouldnta caught all of it if I didn't have damn good hearin'. I woulda never thought-that's exactly what I feel like, you know? She's one of the few people I can be close to without them gettin' scared. She's like that for me too.

"I'm not scared at all." It still kinda amazes me that she touches me, let alone curls up next to me like this. I wanna let her know that but I'm not too sure how to say that and make it come out right. I know-I could-I could rub her back a little. Kinda like she did to me. And what'd she say last night? Maybe I should say some stuff like that. "Just relax. Everythin's OK." And it is. Just right now, just like that, I feel kinda OK. For the first time I can remember, I feel kinda OK.