The Burdens of Leadership


Title:  The Burdens of Leadership
Author:  Terri
E-mail:  xgrrl26@yahoo.com
Rating:  R, violence
Disclaimer:  I don't own any of them.  Rats. 
Archive:  WRFA, Mutual Admiration, and the Peep Hut-anyone else, please ask, and I will gladly provide :)
Feedback:  Please?  With whipped cream on top?  Good, bad, and ugly welcome.
Summary:  Rogue struggles with leading her first mission.  It's a doozy.
Comments:  This was inspired by a couple things-one was Khaki's Stolen Season, which you should go read right now if you haven't.  That story had me jonesing to write some action.  The second was a plot bunny tossed by Diane in some recent fb that had Rogue getting inside Logan's head for a change.  This story doesn't center on that, and I think it'd be interesting to do a whole story on just that, but it does surface in a supporting kind of way here.  The third factor was the flamey remarks that my BadJeans sometimes tend to generate.  Let me be clear on this-I don't like her.  I find her icky.  But someone remarked that I couldn't write a nice Rogue/Jean interaction if I tried.  Of course, my initial, knee-jerk response was-Why would I try that?   But then I decided to give it a go.  I hope it turned out reasonably OK here.  Lastly, if you've ever been in charge of anything-from a church picnic to the invasion of Normandy-you know that one principle applies-you get about 50% the credit when things go well and 150% of the blame when they don't.   That's what makes being in charge kind of suck, despite the pleasant power rush ;)

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"They should've been back by now."  Rogue paced back and forth in front of the communications center.  "Or they should've called.  They definitely should've called in."

"I know, Rogue, I know."  Bobby was nervous too.  It was *very* unlike Scott to vary from the regular communications schedule during a mission.  It was one of the main things he'd tried to instill in the junior team during their first post-high-school year of training, in fact.  The fact that Scott was currently breaking his own rule was giving Rogue a very bad feeling.

"Something's wrong"

"Let's not-let's not jump to conclusions. It could be anything.  It could be-"

*CRACKLE*

The blackbird's signal was routed via a dedicated secure satellite, and was never staticy.  The abrupt crackling noise made both Rogue and Bobby gasp a little. 

"the Professornow!.last..all captured..the Professor!"  It was Scott's voice, but like they'd never heard it-frantic, almost panicked.  The end of the communication was a frenzied order of some sort, and the signal cut off immediately after it.  Rogue and Bobby looked at one another dumbfounded for a moment.  Then Rogue remembered she was the watch officer in charge of the junior team.

"I'll check on the Professor.  Bobby, get Kitty, Jubes, and Remy.  Send Hank and St. John to meet me at the Professor's office."

"But-but, Rogue-"

"Do it." Rogue said firmly as she began running for the stairway.  It took her only seconds to reach her destination and she quickly opened the door without knocking.  The Professor was slumped over his desk, seemingly unconscious. 

"Damn," Rogue breathed as she hurried to his side.  She gently leaned him back in his chair, but he was still unresponsive.  Hank and St. John ran in moments later.  Hank immediately began evaluating the Professor's condition and St. John looked to Rogue for an explanation. 

"What happened?"

Rogue met his gaze evenly.  "I don't know.  But I think we're in trouble."





Ten minutes later, the Professor was in the medlab, still unconscious.  Hank had no idea what had happened or how to fix it.  There were no physical signs of trouble, so he theorized that it must be some kind of mental or telepathic problem.  The problem with that was that there were no tests that would diagnose the nature of the problem or provide a clue as to its source.  Frustrated, Hank joined the remainder of the junior team as they convened in the communications room. 

"OK, here's what we know," Bobby said nervously.  "We have the communication from Scott-uh, Cyclops-"  Bobby usually forgot to use code names.  "- that referenced the Professor.  From that message, and the subsequent lack of communication, I think we can infer that the team has been captured.  That means Cyclops, Phoenix, Storm and Wolverine."  Rogue frowned at that.  Logan had been back six months and wasn't particularly interested in the team, but he needed action every now and then.  She knew-and he as much as told her-that the only reason he was sticking around was to keep an eye on her as she trained for the team.  At the moment, she felt very responsible for whatever had happened to him.  "Given that they were headed to quell an attack by the Brotherhood, Magneto may be behind it.  The homing beacon on the blackbird is still operative, so we at least know where that is.  We don't know what's wrong with the Professor or what the object of the attack may be.  Rogue."

She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and reminded herself that everyone would be looking to her for what to do.  She couldn't afford to show how nervous and uncertain she was about what she was going to suggest.  "Right.  Since it was my turn to be the officer in charge for the communications backup of the mission, I guess that technically means I'm in charge now that we've lost communication with the team."  Another deep breath.  "I think Bobby's right, I think it's fair to infer that the attack is targeted at the Professor.  And the team too.  Just from the tone of Scott's message, it seemed like-well, I think it makes since that they've disabled him and ambushed the team somehow.  I don't know what they want, but it can't be good.  I think-I think we have a couple of options.  One-we could stay here, fortify the defenses of the school, and wait to see what they have in mind, if they try to come here and take the Professor or harm him in some way.  I don't like waiting, just letting them put whatever their plan is into action.  There's the plus of fighting on our own turf, sure, but they'd have figured that in, if that really is what they're planning."  Everyone seemed to be nodding in agreement.  Rogue let her confidence be bolstered a little by that, and went on.  "Option two-we could send a scout to the blackbird's location to try to gather more information.  I'd like to have a heck of a lot more information before doing anything else, to be honest, but it will take time, and my guess would be that that would work to the enemy's advantage.   Option three-we could send a team to the blackbird's location to prepare a counterattack and to try to locate and retrieve the X-men.  It's chancy, there are a lot of unknowns, but it's the one that makes the most sense to me right now, given what we know.  Anybody have any other ideas?"  The room was silent.  "OK, then, I say we take option three.  We'll leave one of us behind to guard the Professor, but everybody else goes, and we go loaded for bear."  She paused to get their reaction. 

"We-we don't know what their plan is, we don't know what we could be up against.  We're not really even sure who did this," Jubilee observed.

"That's true, but I think it's a fair guess that we're going to be looking at the brotherhood."  Rogue saw Kitty and St. John frown at that.  The rest of them didn't look much happier, although Remy maintained an expression of equanimity.  "That means we'll be facing Magneto-which means no metal anywhere on us, guys."  Not for the first time, she wished he hadn't found a way to break out of his plastic prison.  "And Sabretooth and Mystique, at least.  Maybe other mutants unknown to us.  I think we can bet that they've somehow captured the X-men.  The lack of communication-it's just not like Scott.  I hear you, Jubes, there's a lot we don't know.  But I don't think it's a good idea to wait to let them carry out their plan, or to let them come to us.  If we attack, we could have surprise on our side.  That's probably the biggest possible advantage we could get here."  It made strategic sense, she reassured herself, because they sure as hell weren't a match for the Unholy Trinity otherwise.  Surprise could give them an edge.  Plus, something in her gut was telling her to do it, and she always trusted her instincts.  Always.

"We could be playing into their hands.  It could be another ambush," St. John added.

"True.  It's a risk.  But I think their assumption would be that the students won't be a factor.  After all, they don't know that much about us-I doubt they even know we've been training as a junior team.  And they only know me-they don't know any of your powers.  Plus, if they go by me-well, last time, I was hardly any trouble at all.  I don't think they'd anticipate a counter-attack, and especially not this soon, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous to try one.  They're-they're tough."  Rogue looked over the faces in the room.  "Anything else?"  Silence.  "OK, St. John-you're staying here."  He gave her a look for a moment, but said nothing.  "Everybody else, suit up.  Get the plastic guns, too, with the hard rubber bullets. Kitty-you're flying the backup blackbird.  Get it ready."  Kitty had never piloted on her own, but she was the one who'd trained most extensively with Scott.  She swallowed nervously, but nodded.

"Wait "  Bobby interjected, "-shouldn't Hank stay with the Professor?  He's a doctor."

"He can't do anything to help the Professor, and he's the only one of us who's been in a battle before."  Rogue looked over to the large blue-furred man.  "I know he's not officially on the team, he's supposed to be in the lab, but, uh, we can use all the help we can get," she said somewhat apologetically.  Hank gave her an encouraging smile.  She was grateful for his silent support of her authority and her plan.  She also knew he would have spoken up had he disagreed.  It made her feel better that Hank seemed to think she was doing the right thing.  "Let's go, then.  Meet back here in ten."  Rogue waited until the others filed out, grabbing St. John as he passed her.  "John," she said softly, "if we-if we fail, if something goes wrong, you'll be all that's left.  I'm trusting you to take care of the Professor if that happens."  He nodded, once, and she smiled in return. 








Twelve minutes later, they were in the blackbird and well underway, headed toward the x-men's last known location.  From Kitty's estimate, they should land in about another four minutes.  Four minutes didn't seem like much time at all to Rogue, who was beginning to second-guess this whole plan of hers.  They *didn't* know what they'd find, or if the x-men were even actually anywhere nearby.  It could be another ambush, they could find nothing, or the school could be attacked while they were off chasing down this lead.  She was following her instincts, but whoever said those were always dead-on?  What if she was wrong about this whole thing?  She let out a sigh, and felt Hank's large hand settle on her shoulder.

"I think you have chosen the best option.  My 'gut' is telling me that we'll find them.  And we definitely have the advantage of surprise.  I do not think that they would anticipate a counter-attack at all, let alone one delivered more swiftly than even Domino's." 

Rogue laughed at that.  "A half-hour or less or your butt-kicking is free?"

Hank gave a final pat to her shoulder.  "Something like that."

Rogue struggled out a smile, and her eyes fell to the rest of her teammates. Bobby and Jubes-they'd always done well in training, but they'd never seen a real fight outside the danger room.  They both looked as jumpy as cats on a hot stove right now.  Remy-well, he'd claimed that he'd been in 'a scrape or two,' but God only knew what his real experience was.  He looked calm, almost unnaturally calm. Kitty-she'd never even done a full-on battle simulation in the danger room, she'd spent most of her time concentrating on learning the plane.  Rogue had asked her to stay with the plane-to coordinate communications and keep in touch with John, to assist any injured x-men or civilians they might be sending her way, and to keep the backup blackbird out of enemy hands.

As for Rogue herself  - well, she had done very well in training.  She did have Logan and Magneto in her head to draw on, and she *had* seen some action that involved the enemies they were facing now.  But that involved chiefly her screaming and getting kidnapped.  Hardly impressive.  At least Hank would be steady, Rogue told herself, and she'd have to hope for the best from herself and the rest.  They were well-armed, and with weapons that were immune to Magneto's control.  They'd been training, and they had, among them, some formidable powers.  They had a chance. 

"OK," Kitty announced over the intercom, "Coming down in a minute.  Looks like we've got some kind of big building-abandoned warehouse maybe-and I see the blackbird.  Looks like there's some damage to it, but I-I don't think they crashed.  I don't see any obvious security and there's no one I can see on the ground."  Rogue didn't know if that was a good or bad sign.  It could mean they knew they were coming.  "OK-coming down now."  Rogue braced herself and noticed that her teammates did likewise.  Even Scott had trouble with the landings.

The blackbird took three hops to finally come to rest, but no one was too badly jarred.  "Sorry," Kitty apologized. 

"OK, let's see what we've got.  Hank, Jubes, Bobby-approach the factory from the front.  Remy and I will circle around back."  Rogue ushered everyone out of the plane, but paused to talk to Kitty.

"Good job, Kit-Kat." 

The girl smiled at that.   "I'll get better at the landings with more practice."

Rogue returned her smile, then shifted her expression to a deadly serious mien.  "Kit, listen - if it goes badly-you take the plane and get the hell back to Westchester to help out St. John.  That's an order."

"Got it," Kitty returned with equal gravity.  She gave Rogue a nod as well, and then Rogue was out the door.





Rogue and Remy moved slowly and stealthily as they entered the building, unsure what kind of surveillance they might be under.  Hank, Bobby, and Jubes had already entered the building a minute or so before.  They'd communicated that there was no apparent security-it looked as though whoever was in residence had not been here long.  It was a large building, and Rogue estimated that it would take them another ten minutes to meet up with Hank's group. 

"Chere-"  Remy gestured with his head to what appeared to be a slick of blood on the floor, a few feet down the hallway they were exploring.  As she looked at it, Rogue simultaneously caught the barest sound-it sounded like a woman, screaming.  It was coming from the direction of the blood slick.

"Hear that?"  She unconsciously walked toward the sound.  Remy nodded and reached for his comlink.

"We got somet'ing here.  Blood, and somebody be screamin'.  Sounds like-sounds like it be Stormy.  We headin' toward de West corner of de buildin'."  Rogue distantly registered Hank's acknowledgement, and moved further down the hall.  Just as she was about to go through the doorway to the next room, she felt Remy's restraining hand on her arm.

"Chere-let's see what be in dere first, non?"  He gestured with his head to a stairway off to their left.  "Maybe see from up above?"  Rogue smiled and nodded, then followed him upstairs. 

Neither one could have been prepared for what they saw-the upstairs was a series of observation rooms, each looking down on a sparse room on the lower level.  The first few rooms were empty, but the fourth room they passed through looked down on a room containing only a metal table, to which Jean was strapped.  She appeared to be unconscious, and there were no obvious wounds on her.  Rogue silently wondered if she'd been subjected to whatever had knocked out the Professor.   She and Remy crept forward to the next room. 

That room revealed Scott, strapped to a similar table, but his body bore obvious injuries-his uniform was slashed in several places, and blood spilled out of him and onto the grey floor.  Rogue thought she saw his body rise and fall with uneven breaths, though, and she hoped it wasn't just a figment of her wishful imagination.  Remy nudged her a little and they moved on to the next room. 

The screaming could be heard much louder now, but this room did not reveal it's source.  For a moment, Rogue wished it had.  She would have preferred to see almost anything rather than what this view held-Logan, on a similar metal table, with a multitude of wires and electrodes attached to him, held firmly in place with thick metal restraints.  His body was intact with no visible wounds, but Rogue knew that didn't mean much in his case.  He could've suffered all kinds of injury in the attack.  Still, that wasn't what scared her.  Two things were different from the other rooms-there were doctors milling about in this one, about a half dozen of them, some flicking switches on a control panel and some taking notes when Logan twitched.  She leaned forward a little, seeking Logan's eyes.  That'll tell me, she thought, that'll tell me how he's holding up. 

She felt Remy's hand on her waist, trying to hold her in place, but she leaned just a little more forward.  She had to see his eyes.  She heard Remy mutter a soft French curse, but she tilted forward another inch, risking discovery.  Finally, she caught his eyes and immediately flinched back.  What she saw there terrified her-Logan was frantic, almost on the verge of insanity if his hazel eyes could be believed.  He couldn't scream-there was a metal restraint holding his head firmly in place along with a gag-but she could tell whatever they were doing was making him crazy with pain.  She winced, and almost lunged at the Plexiglas window separating her from the downstairs room, but Remy gripped her waist more firmly.  She knew what he'd say if they could've chanced talking-we have to keep going, we have to know what we're dealing with.   So she bit her lip, said a silent prayer for Logan, and moved on quickly. 

The last room held by far the most horrific sight.  They'd known as they moved toward it that it was Storm screaming, and they'd both braced themselves for what they'd find.  Seeing her strapped to the by-now-familiar metal table, feet up in stirrups, Sabretooth thrusting between her legs and slashing at her body, was nothing they could've prepared for.  The monster seemed to be enjoying her pain and her screams.  It was then that Rogue noticed something-there was a collar around her neck.  A slim, metal collar.  Now that she thought of it, all of the x-men had them on.  All except Logan.

She'd heard of them-devices that negated mutant powers-but thought they were an urban legend.  Apparently not, she thought bitterly, or Storm would be frying Sabretooth to a crisp long before now.  "Remy-those collars," she whispered, a little louder than usual, to be heard over Storm's screams and pleas, "I think-I think they take away our powers."

Remy nodded, cursed again, and opened the comlink to Hank.  They'd reached the far corner of the building, and had nowhere forward to go.  Remy relayed that in hushed tones, along with the situation of each of the x-men, and then listened as Hank suggested a plan.  He'd free Jean and Scott, then send Bobby and Jubes back with them to the blackbird.  They'd all meet in the third room, and take out the doctors, which would probably alert Sabretooth and get him away from Storm.  Bobby and Jules would return to help them as soon as possible.  Remy looked to Rogue, and she nodded.  With a final pained glance down at Storm, they moved back to Logan's room. 

It took about five minutes for Hank to show up.  As he burst into the room, Remy blew the Plexiglas with a charged card and they dropped down in the midst of the doctors like avenging angels.  Hank was already engaged with one, who was making several ill-fated attempts to collar Hank.  Unfortunately for the doctor, Hank and the height, weight, reach, and claw advantage, and quickly knocked the doctor unconscious.  Rogue and Remy engaged the other four. 

Rogue grabbed the doctor closest to the control panel, and unceremoniously broke his nose, then his knee, both with powerful kicks that Logan had taught her.  His saying that once a fight's on, there's no such thing as fighting fair, surfaced in her mind.  She saw the doctor go down, clutching at his face, then grabbed a metal chair and swung it down hard on his head.  She heard a satisfying 'crack', but then felt a hand grip her by the hair. 

Somehow, she realized that they were trying to collar her, and she put her free hand up to her neck, effectively blocking that effort.  She changed her grip on the chair, then swung it around behind her, smacking it into the attacking doctor's back.  He wasn't letting go of her hair, though.  She pushed backwards, pedaling with her legs, pushing back until she rammed him roughly into a wall.  She dropped the chair and raised that hand to her mouth, biting her glove and removing it.  Using her body position and leverage to slam the doctor into the wall a few more times for good measure, she then twisted in his grasp and put a bare hand to the bridge of his nose, the only skin visible between his cap and mask. 

She felt the pull begin immediately, and purposefully sorted through his head for the knowledge she wanted.  She'd worked hard with the Professor to control the personalities in her head, and, although this particular application of those skills was not one they'd discussed, she had an instinct it would work.  What she could pick out from him made her blood run cold-that Magneto and Mystique were around here somewhere; that a powerful, mercenary telepath had knocked out the Professor and Jean; and, that Magneto had cut a deal giving Logan over to the doctors in return for an exchange of technology.  Her mouth twisted in anger and disgust, then she dropped the doctor, leaving him twitching on the floor. 

Remy had subdued the other two, and Sabretooth could be heard heading this way.  Rogue rushed back to the control panel, using the knowledge gained from the doctor to release the restraints.  Logan sprang from the bed, gag still in his mouth, and sprung his claws.  He growled menacingly at Remy and Hank, and more so at Sabretooth, as he entered the room.  As they'd planned, Hank made a running tackle of the beast while Remy scooted off to free Storm.  Logan backed himself up into a corner, and Rogue ignored him for the moment.  She lunged at Sabretooth, barehanded, just as he was rising from Hank's tackle. 

Again, she concentrated on only allowing through as much of 'him'-his personality traits and knowledge-as she wanted.  It was harder, much harder, this time, though.  His memories of Storm, and exactly how much he'd enjoyed hurting her, were front and center.  Rogue pushed them back, but she was pulling more and more of his life force in.  Dimly, she heard Remy ask her name in a question and Hank shout for him to get to the plane with Storm.  Her vision registered Remy's cape bunched in his arms, with white hair sticking out the top, but just for a moment.  She heard Hank call her name louder and louder, urging her to let go, but she didn't.  And eventually, he stopped calling her name.  Soon after that, she'd taken every last bit of Sabretooth's life.  Finally, she released her grip, and he dropped to the floor, still. 

"Rogue?!"  It was Hank again, this time right next to her, this time shaking her gently by the arms.  "Rogue, we've got to go-Kitty-Kitty said that Magneto and Mystique took off for the mansion in the other blackbird.  We've got to go now!"

"Logan?"  Her head was still a little fuzzy, but it was settling.  She felt strong, so strong.

"He won't-Rogue, we've got to go!"  Something about the normally reserved doctor's anxiety snapped her back. 

"Right.  I'll get Logan.  Go on, go."  Hank turned and made for the door, only to be halted by Rogue's voice.  "Warn St. John- and if I'm not to the blackbird two minutes after you, take off without me."  Hank looked like he didn't like those orders, but he nodded once, accepting them, then ran for the plane. 

Rogue turned her attention to Logan, walking slowly toward him.  He was standing, but crouching a little, as though he was ready to spring on her if she attacked.  She talked to him in low tones, soothing words, but knowing she didn't have the time it would take to persuade him into going with her, she used her supplicating demeanor to get closer to him, within arm's reach.  With one final murmured endearment and plea for forgiveness, she touched his face with her hand, taking only a little, and trying to push through to him her love for him and regret at hurting him.  He fell forward, and she put him over her shoulder-effortlessly, some part of her mind noted-and ran for the plane too. 

She figured that she must have been 1:58 behind Hank, because Kitty had already powered up the plane and the door was closing.  When she saw Rogue running for them, she put the door back down and Rogue hopped in, unceremoniously depositing Logan in a seat.  She was surprised to find Hank tending to an injured Bobby and Jubes.  Bobby was still in ice form and a big chunk of his torso was missing.  Jubes was bloody and unconscious.  Rogue would find out later that they met some resistance from Mystique as they rescued Jean and Scott.  Remy held a shaking, bleeding Storm in his lap, looking at her with worried eyes.  Jean and Scott were out cold and Scott still had the collar on-a precaution, Rogue guessed, since his glasses were MIA.  Rogue winced at the scene and made her way up front to Kitty.

"How long of a lead do they have?"

"Five minutes-uh, wait, no, almost seven now."

"Can you catch them?"

"Maybe.  I don't think they were planning on flying that plane.  It looked like they were trying to take it apart or maybe Scott pulled the self-destruct button or something, I don't know, but-"

"These have a self-destruct button?"

"I don't know," Kitty answered with a note of hysteria.  "I-I just-I think we can catch up to them."

"You warned John?"

"Yeah.  Yeah.  He knows they're coming."  Rogue exhaled.  "We'll be there in five minutes.  We'll make it in time to help him," Kitty said, sounding completely unconvinced. 

"Hurry, Kit," Rogue said grimly, then went back to the main cabin.  Hank was kneeling in front of Remy and 'Ro, talking in soft tones to her, but not touching her.  Rogue went to check on Jubes, who was unconscious, but breathing and seemingly stable.  She then turned to Bobby.  He was conscious, but in obvious pain. 

"Need water," he choked out.  Rogue wondered if that would actually work-if he could repair himself by freezing more water onto his torso while he was in ice form and still be OK when he switched back. 

"We'll get you some.  Hang on, hang on, Bobby.  We're almost there.  We'll take care of you.  Kitty's hauling ass back to Westchester.  Hang on."  He almost smiled at that.  Rogue patted his ice hand and went to check on Logan. 

He was still out, and from what she'd seen in his head, he was in trouble.  They'd begun wiping his memories again, and there wasn't much left of the two years she'd known him in his head-mostly only feral, primal emotions and instincts, not really human thoughts or memories at all.  They didn't finish the job, though.  There were still some memories, some humanity in there.  He did remember a lot of her, at least, and that was promising. 

"Hurry, Kit," she urged under her breath as she stroked Logan's face with her gloved hand.  "Hurry."







"They beat us here, but not by much," Kitty's voice announced over the intercom.  "Coming down now-brace yourselves." 

"Remy, Hank, you're with me.  All of us, in through the front and straight to the lab.  Kit, get some water for Bobby.  Got it?"  The men nodded in agreement with Rogue's plan.  She took one last look over at a still-unconscious Logan as the plane landed after two short hops, narrowly missing the mansion wall.  Fingering the collar removed from Jean, which she hoped would come in handy, she was on her feet and off the plane almost instantly. 

As she burst through the front doors and into the foyer, she saw the swirl of Magneto's cape disappear around a corner.  Kitty was right, she thought, they did barely beat us here.  We've got a chance.  She ran after Magneto, with Hank and Remy close on her heels. 

After just a few more running steps, she heard Remy cry out in surprise.  Sparing a backward glance, she turned to see Mystique - seemingly having appeared out of nowhere  - grab him from behind.  The look in Remy's eyes said he could be in some trouble, but Rogue kept running and left him to fend for himself with Mystique.  He'd proven pretty capable in the battle so far, and she had to stop Magneto. 

Hank followed her and they finally caught up with him in the medlab.  Several things were on fire, so John had fought, at least briefly.  But now, Magneto had pinned St. John to the wall with a metal stool, one leg neatly puncturing his torso, and the sprinkler system was kicking in to douse the flames.  Rogue took one look at St. John and knew his labored breathing was because his lung was punctured, but she couldn't spare a second to help him.  Magneto was moving toward the Professor's cot, and Rogue knew that he meant to take Xavier with him or to harm him in some way.  She couldn't let that happen. 

Magneto turned, realizing that she and Hank were in the doorway, and made a frown, then a wave of his hand.  Quickly, before she even quite knew what Magneto intended, Rogue lunged for his feet, ducking the tray of scalpels and lab instruments he'd flung her way. 

Knocking him down like a bowling pin, they struggled on the floor for a few seconds.  Rogue had far superior strength, and she easily pinned him.  Just when she had him down, though, she felt something-actually several things-stabbing deeply into her back and legs.  She heard Hank gasp, but she did not cry out in pain herself, and instead kneed Magneto in the groin, then head-butted him.  He wasn't wearing his trademark helmet, and he was knocked nearly unconscious. 

"Rogue!"  Hank rushed to her side.  "You're-"

"Get the plastic cuffs!"  It wasn't general knowledge, but Rogue was aware that the Professor had built a plastic cell in the lower levels, and had equipped the team not only with plastic guns and ammunition, but also with plastic restraint devices.  He'd told her to ease her fears about Magneto, and she'd made good use of that knowledge today. 

"Right!"  She heard Hank rush off to find them.  She was in wrenching pain, but she focused on keeping a tight hold on Magneto.  He wasn't struggling much, but she wasn't about to give an inch.  Hank returned quickly, and together, they wrangled Magneto into the cuffs.  Hank then carried him off to the reinforced plastic cell while Rogue struggled to her feet. 

Still ignoring whatever was stabbing the entire back side of her body, the dying flames, and all the water, she made her way over to John.  He did not appear conscious and he'd stopped breathing.  Rogue wasn't sure if she should pull the stool out or if that would only make the wound worse, but she knew he had to breathe, so she began giving him mouth to mouth while he was still impaled against the wall.

When Hank returned, he gently tapped Rogue's shoulder and gestured for her to remove the stool while he held John firmly against the wall.  It made a sickening, wet, sucking sound as she extracted it, but John was free, and Hank immediately moved him to a cot.  "Hank?" Rogue asked. 

"I don't know yet," he replied, working feverishly.

"I'm going up to help Remy."

"Rogue-your back-"  Hank interjected, looking away from John's prone form for a moment. 

"It can wait," she said, already on her way up.





Rogue found Remy still grappling with a now grizzly-bear-shaped Mystique.  He was flinging charged cards, with little affect, and trying to duck her swipes.  Rogue paused for a moment, considering what to do.  She'd hoped to be able to use the power-suppressing collar on Mystique, but it wasn't going to fit around her bear-neck.  "Damn," Rogue breathed, as she resolved to just duke it out with the shapeshifter. 

Just then, Kitty phased out of a wall, swinging an ax into the Mystique-bear's back.  Where the hell did she get an ax? Rogue thought distractedly.  Was there an emergency-use one around here somewhere?  Mystique morphed out of bear-form into a large black bird.  The ax dropped to the floor and the bird deftly flew past Kitty and Remy, eluding their attempts to grab it. 

"Let her go, forget it," Rogue urged tiredly.  Frankly, they had Magneto, Sabretooth was dead, and there were lots of wounded x-men to tend to.  Kitty and Remy both turned to look at her as she spoke, and their mouths dropped open in mute horror.  "What?"

"Rogue.your back"  Kitty put her hand to her mouth and Rogue realized that whatever Magneto'd stabbed her with was still imbedded in her back and legs. 

"Stay still," Remy said firmly as he moved to Rogue's side.  Gently turning her, he took a sharp intake of breath.  "Rogue-you-you-"

"Can you just take them out?"  She was fairly sure that whatever it was, it wasn't causing her any serious injury-she still had Sabretooth's powers and she had already healed the wounds.  But taking the objects out again would open those wounds back up, not to mention it would hurt like hell, and she'd just as soon have it over with.  "Go ahead, Remy, it's OK." 

"Stay tres still, chere."  He began pulling the objects out and Rogue focused her attention back on Kitty. 

"Kit, go help the wounded-is Bobby OK?"

Kitty seemed to recover a little and nodded.  "He's OK, I think.  He did the water thing, and it looked OK.  He passed out after, but his breathing and pulse are good."

"They're all still on the plane?"  Rogue tried to keep the pain out of her voice and tried to concentrate on remaining upright as Remy removed the objects.  Kitty nodded in reply.  "Go ahead and see if you can move them to the medlab-Magneto's taken care of."  Kitty nodded again, and was off. 

Out of curiosity, Rogue twisted a little to finally see what the heck Magneto had stabbed her with.  As soon as she had, she regretted it-she swayed a little on her feet and felt lightheaded.  There were dozens-possibly even a hundred-metal scalpels, needles, and knives implanted deep into her back and legs.  He'd flung anything and everything metal in the lab at her, pushing it as deeply as it would go.  That vicious bastard was really trying to kill me, Rogue thought absently, and out of anger, out of hatred, not for some big, important plan. 

"Chere, Remy gon' lay you down on de floor."  He did just that, then resumed extracting the metal objects.  She could smell her own blood, lots of it, but she was healing almost as soon as Remy reopened each wound.  She gritted her teeth and tried not to cry out in pain as he continued his work.  It took almost fifteen minutes, and the floor was soaked in her blood, but just seconds after the last one was pulled out and she heard Remy breathe a sigh, she felt strong enough to stand up.  "Careful dere," he warned, but helped her rise anyway. 

"Thanks," she said genuinely.  They looked at each other momentarily, then Kitty rushed into the lobby and past them, carrying Jean over her shoulder.  She gave a quick smile to Rogue and scooted around the pool of blood on her way to the medlab. 

Rogue turned to Remy.  "Go down and help Hank-John's bad, very bad.  See what you can do.  I'll go see if there's anyone else in the plane and I'll come right down."  She didn't wait to see Remy's affirmative nod, and made for the plane. 

Storm and Logan were still inside, and both were in bad, but not critical, shape.  Storm was curled up in the fetal position in her seat, just shaking.  Logan had apparently regained consciousness and had elected to back himself into the far corner of the main cabin.  His claws were extended and he was growling.  Rogue took a deep breath, then decided to approach Storm first since she was injured and in need of medical treatment.  Logan watched her intently as she moved to kneel in front of the weather goddess.

"Storm," she said softly.  The fact that Storm looked at her in response was a good sign, Rogue thought.  "Storm, we need to get you to the medlab.  You're-you're injured."  Storm didn't reply, but she held Rogue's gaze.  "I'm-I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner.  I'm so sorry about what happened.  So sorry."  She thought she heard a soft growl from Logan along with a few hesitant footsteps in her direction. Rogue chose to remain focused on Storm at the moment.  "Sabretooth-he's-he's dead.  He's never going to lay a hand on you again.  He's gone.  I know he hurt you.  I know he hurt you very badly.  You need to get to the medlab and get help, get those wounds taken care of.  Do you understand?"  That last question came out in a sympathetic whisper.  Storm nodded slowly, then took several deep, centering breaths and shrugged herself out of Remy's cape.  Without a word, she stood, and Rogue stood with her.  "I'll help you."

Storm shook her head no, and gave a gentle smile to Rogue.  "I can make it on my own, thank you."  At that moment, Storm seemed every bit the serene goddess Rogue had seen her as before today.  All remnants of the shaking, scared victim were gone.  Rogue watched her go, wondering at her sudden change. 

Her thoughts were broken by a growl from behind her.  Right behind her.  She started a little, then turned to face Logan.  His claws were back in now, and he was looking at her in confusion. 

"Hi," she offered.  He reached out for her with a bare hand and she flinched back a little before realizing that he wanted to touch her hair.  She smiled when she felt his touch on her. 

"Marie?" 

"Yes, yes, that's right."  That was a very good sign, she thought.  "Logan, I'm-I'm so sorry I hurt you, but I couldn't think of any other way to get you to go with me quickly enough.  I'm so sorry."

"You didn't hurt me," he whispered, confusion gone now.  "You-it feels like you're in my head.  It feels nice."

She felt her eyes get hot with tears at that, and let out a relieved smile.  "What-what can you remember?  Do you remember what happened?"  He was still running a hand through her hair, and she took an unconscious step toward him. 

"I remember you.  You and me-we're-we're together, right?"  Not really knowing how to explain their relationship any better and not wanting to confuse him, she simply nodded.  "You're Marie.  You're-you're mine."  She nodded again.  "I'm-my name is Logan, and I-I was-I was doin' somethin' with other people.  I-I wasshit.  Shit. I don't remember what I was doin'.  I-I-where are we?  Where-"

Marie felt something inside her break and she flung herself toward him, hugging him tightly and letting some of the tears fall.  He returned the embrace and let her cry for a few moments.  When she'd gathered herself together reasonably well, she explained, "We're in Westchester, New York, at a school.  You and I-we live at the school and you're one of the x-men.  Those were the other people with you.  You-you went on a mission and got captured by some very bad people.  They hurt you, and took away some of your memories.  That's why-that's why you can't remember some things.  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry, Logan."  He just squeezed her more tightly.  "We're-some of the other people who live here-they went with me to rescue you and the other x-men.  We're all safe here now.  We're safe, Logan."  She let him hold her a while longer, and comforted herself with his nearness.  At length, she broke from him, and they headed to the medlab to help the others.






Fifteen hours later, all the critical matters had been taken care of.  St. John had been operated on, his lung repaired.  Jubes was up and about.  Bobby was conscious and seemed just fine, and Scott was in and out, but seemed to be slowly regaining consciousness again.  The Professor and Jean were in the same state as they had been since the attack, but their lives seemed to be in no immediate danger.  'Ro had retreated to her penthouse room, and Kitty had retired for some much-needed sleep.  Rogue satisfied herself with the thought that they'd all at least *lived* through the first mission under her command, and, after checking with Hank to be sure he didn't want a respite from watching over his patients, she headed upstairs as well.  She asked everyone still ambulatory to meet in the kitchen in three hours to decide what to do next. 

Logan followed her closely, as he had since the plane.  They hadn't really had a chance to talk about it in detail, but he seemed to remember who he was, a little about his past as a cage fighter in Canada, and a lot about her.  He remembered meeting her, giving her his tags, returning to the mansion-all of the important moments in their shared lives.  It comforted Rogue immensely that she hadn't lost that, hadn't lost her relationship with him. 

"You gonna sleep?" he queried as they made their way up the stairs. 

"I'm exhausted, so maybe a little."  She reached the landing on her floor and paused.  "How are you feeling?"  She didn't think she'd asked him that all day. 

"I'm fine.  Need a shower, though.  Gotta get this smell offa me."

"I know what you mean," Rogue commiserated as she headed for her room.  She was covered in blood, water, smoke, sweat, and dirt.  Her uniform was trashed-all the tears from Magneto's attack had shredded it.  The thing she wanted most in the world right now was a shower and a couple hours of sleep.  When she reached her door, though, she paused.  Kitty would be asleep in there, she thought, and the shower would wake her.  "Do you mind if I shower in your room?"

"We have separate rooms?"  Logan seemed fairly surprised at that. 

"Yeah-I, uh, live with Kitty and Jubes and you're right next door." 

Now, he just looked distressed.  "Why?"

"We, uh, well, I guess we just decided to have it that way."  How do I explain this one, she thought?  Although her spirits were buoyed by the fact that he'd assumed they lived together. 

"Did we have a fight or somethin'?"  Even more distressed. 

"No, no.  Nothing like that."  She reached out to take one of his hands in both of her gloved ones. 

"But-you said we were together." 

Rogue nodded.  "Yes, but, um, we weren't together-together.  We were-we were very close, bonded, as close as two people can be, I think."  She gave him an encouraging smile, but he still looked upset and confused.  "But we-we hadn't decided to be lovers yet.  I think-I think we were headed in that direction, but you-you once told me you wanted to go slow."

"I did?"  He looked so dumbfounded that she almost laughed.  But she actually remembered that conversation well-it had taken place the night he'd returned.  He kissed her head, and said she was the most important person to him in the whole world, but he told her that she had time.  Time to do what she wanted, time to grow up, time to just enjoy her life and be safe.  Sometimes, in the last six months, she'd catch him giving her a smoldering look or failing to notice Jean enter a room, and she'd wonder if she really wanted to take that time.

"Yeah.  I was-I'm young, I'm only eighteen, and I think you just wanted to, you know, take it slow, and-"

"Can I change my mind about that?"  Now it was Rogue's turn to be dumbfounded.

"What?"

"You're not-you're in my head.  I can feel you.  I don't wanna-it's hurtin' ya a little, not to be together like that, isn't it?"  Her head tilted to the side and her eyes became soft.  "I think it was hurtin' me too, so, uh, let's not do that.  You're mine, right?  So you, uh, live with me from now on.  I want you right by me, all the time."

"Logan."  She wasn't sure if agreeing would be taking advantage of his loss of memory.  The 'old' Logan had seemed so intent on not rushing, on moving slow.  "I know you don't remember, but-"

"I remember lookin' at you once.  I thought it was a memory from a really long time ago, but maybe - maybe not.  You were wearin' a dress.  It was summer.  You and me were out walkin' around.  I remember thinkin'-she's not ready, she's not ready.  But I was.  I am.  And you-you were too, but I didn't know that then.  Now, I do.  I know it for sure.  I can feel it from you, in here."  He tapped a finger to the side of his head and smiled.  "I remember that, Marie.  I remember it strong."

"OK," she said simply, turning them toward his door.  "OK."






He let her shower first and borrow some of his clothes.  She was well asleep before he finished in the bathroom.  He crawled into bed with her, noting that she'd borrowed clothing that covered her pretty thoroughly-his black turtleneck, black workout pants, and socks.  Logan wore only boxers and climbed in, spooning her from behind.  Resting his face against her wet hair, he let himself drift off as well. 

The alarm rang for almost a full minute before either of them woke.  Marie woke first, but, confused by the different surroundings, she wasn't quite sure where the offending noise was coming from.  While she lay still and thought it over, Logan started awake and rather unceremoniously clawed the clock into silence.  After realization sunk in, he looked over somewhat sheepishly at Marie.  "Sorry."

"It's OK," she smiled up at him.  "That's the ninth one you've destroyed.  It's kind of a tradition."    She wasn't in a hurry to move, so she wasn't incredibly unhappy to feel Logan sink back into bed beside her. 

"How're you feelin'?"

"Better."  Actually, she felt quite well.  Sabretooth's powers didn't seem to be fading.  "How about you?"

"Good.  You're still pretty strong in my head, you know.  You're, like, talkin' to me a lot." 

"I am?"  Logan nodded.  "You know, I wasn't even sure I was, uh, putting anything into your head.  I didn't even know I could do that.  I just wanted you to know I was sorry for hurting you and that, you know, I cared about you a lot.  I'm glad it's OK so far."

His eyes became warm and he began caressing her stomach with one hand.  "Feels good.  You're always sayin' stuff like you love me, like you want me, and just-just however I am is OK.  It's good."  His caresses became firmer, more sensual.  "I'm glad you did it."

"We have to get up," she whispered very unconvincingly.  "We have to meet the others."  That was a little louder, a little firmer, and Logan nodded.  He leaned down to give her stomach one gentle kiss over the fabric of the turtleneck, then tumbled out of bed. 





Rogue, Logan, Hank, Remy, and Storm convened in the kitchen.  The topic that was first on the list was what to do with Magneto.  The Professor and Jean weren't coming out of it-whatever 'it' was-and Magneto almost certainly could be of some help there.  The question was-how to get that information out of him?  After much discussion and debate, Rogue nominated herself to speak with Magneto, to see if they could find out what he'd done and, hopefully, how to fix it.  Remy and Storm were opposed to that idea-they felt that the burly Hank would be more intimidating and effective.  But Rogue pointed out that she had some of Magneto's memories, some of his personality in her, and that she would be more successful at psychological intimidation.  What she also decided, but didn't tell the others, was that if talking didn't work, she wasn't averse to using her skin to extract the information needed.  She wasn't about to let the Professor and Jean stay this way forever, and God only knew what might be going on in their minds. 

They also decided that Storm would relieve Hank for a few hours so that he could rest, and that Logan and Remy would begin cleaning up the mess that was made by the battle.  Logan gave more than a little protest at that-it wasn't that he didn't want to help clean up, rather, he didn't want Rogue out of his sight for any appreciable length of time.  Finally, they compromised-he'd accompany her to talk to Magneto, and she'd join him in the cleaning detail afterward. 

As they made their way to the lower levels, Rogue reminded Logan of what Magneto's powers were and why he could present a threat to Logan.  Logan simply nodded, taking it all in, and Rogue tried to center herself for what was to come.  Before they entered the room where Magneto's cell was, Logan stopped Rogue by gently grabbing her arm.  At first, he just looked at her and seemed to be at a loss for words, but then he said, "He hurt you-he did somethin' to you before, didn't he?"

Rogue nodded.  "He kidnapped me, put me in this machine that-well, it almost killed me.  It would've killed me and a lot of other people too if you hadn't rescued me.  You-you let me touch your skin and get your healing power so that I wouldn't die.  You risked your life-I held on long enough to maybe kill you."

"Do you think he's gonna try to hurt you again?"

"If he does, I'll hurt him back," Rogue said with some heat.

Logan nodded, seemingly satisfied, and they entered the room.  They caught Magneto's attention almost immediately.  He gazed at them through the thick Plexiglas, eyes burning.  Rogue gestured for Logan to take a seat opposite the Plexiglas and stepped into the antechamber.  It was plastic as well, and had two doors-both that operated by entry of a code.  The anteroom was designed so that the outer door could not be opened unless the inner door was closed and locked, and vice versa.  Rogue punched the buttons on the control panel near the outer door, sealing it.  Magneto shifted his gaze between the inner door and Logan as she entered the other code.  Slowly, the inner door pulled back, and she stepped through, allowing it to shut behind her, allowing it to shut her in with Magneto. 

"Erik," she greeted solemnly. 

"I would prefer that you not call me by that name.  After all, I am at a disadvantage-I do not know your real name."  His high-handed manner told her what tack he was about to take.  She thought a moment, and decided on her approach. 

"There's lots of things I'd like to call you right now.  Be glad I settled on Erik."

"Well," Magneto purred, "I do not recall you being so bold at our last meeting.  Something more along the lines of you screaming and crying and begging for mercy comes to mind."  He leaned back against a plastic wall and crossed his arms. 

"You've done your fair share of begging too, Erik.  I wouldn't throw stones.  I seem to remember one particularly awful episode in the fall of 1944."  Rogue mirrored his stance, leaning against the wall opposite him.

"I don't know to what you could possibly be referring."  But his eyes told her that he did know, he did remember it.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you didn't know I'd get your memories when you touched me.  You really didn't think that whole thing through very well, did you?"  Magneto stared at her, openly skeptical.  Rogue decided to do a little convincing.  "The guard's name was-hmmm, let me think-it was Knopf, wasn't it?  I understand, I mean, you were only a boy, really, and rape is never pretty.  Oh, but-but maybe you didn't learn that lesson so well, Erik."  She twisted the last word and her eyes were glowing now.  "Maybe you liked it.  Well, I guess you must have since you were so eager to subject Storm to it."

"That was hardly my fault," he hissed.  "Sabretooth-"

"You turned her over to him," Rogue accused.  "And Logan, to the doctors.  Awfully quick to sell out your mutant 'brothers' aren't you?"

"This conversation is over," he pronounced coolly. 

"It's over when I say it is," Rogue returned.  Magneto turned his back to her, and that only made her angrier.  She stalked over to him, whirling him around by the shoulder.  "What did you do to the Professor and Jean?"  He smirked at her but didn't respond.  "I know there was a mercenary telepath, I know she was female, and very powerful.  I know she high-tailed it the hell out of there as soon as she had her money.  What I don't know is what she did to them and how to fix it.  You're going to give me that information, Erik, one way or another."

"Are you threatening me?"  He almost laughed as he said it.

"I'm telling you what will happen.  And I'm giving you a courtesy.  A courtesy you've never extended to us.  I'm giving you a chance, right now, to give me the information and to be left alone.  You tell me what I want to know, and I'll see to it that you're unharmed until we turn you over to the authorities."  She was almost nose-to-nose with him now, looking right into his eyes.

"And if I don't?  What shall you do then, little girl?  Pout at me until I give in?"  He did laugh now.  "Honestly, I-"

Rogue cut him off with a powerful punch to the gut.  Magneto doubled over in pain, and Rogue separated from him, pacing the cage like an animal for a few long minutes.  Logan watched, and looked a little concerned, but did not intervene.  Finally, she stopped pacing and turned to face Magneto as he tried to stand up.  "Sabretooth is dead.  The doctors-dead or in custody.  It's over.  Tell me what I want to know now, or we do this the hard way."

"And what would that be?"  Damn him, Rogue thought, he still thinks this is some kind of game-something to amuse himself with. 

"It's simple. I'll just suck out what I want to know with my skin.  After I get what I need to know, I'll put one of those snazzy power-suppressing collars on you and turn you over to the first anti-mutants I can find-doctors, government, FOH, I'm not too picky."  She leaned back slightly, having made her point. 

"Charles would never allow --"

"He's out, remember?  And so are the other x-men."  Rogue glanced over at the window, over to Logan.  "It's just me and him now.  Just us.  Do you think the Wolverine's going to stop me?"  Magneto met her gaze with hatred in his eyes.  She didn't flinch.  "What's it going to be?"

"You don't have the nerve to-"  Rogue interrupted his remark with a kick to his head that put him on the floor.  Kicking him to roll him over, she held him in place by putting her booted foot on his stomach.  He squirmed, but she held him still. 

"I'm going to stop asking so nicely after three tries.  You've already had one.  Just so you know."  Rogue lifted her foot off him, and took a step back.  "Is it really worth it?  You could tell me right now, Erik, and spend the rest of your days in a nice, cushy prison.  Or, you know, not."  She punctuated that by a powerful kick to his side.  "Your call."  She looked up to Logan for a moment, meeting his eyes.  She couldn't quite read him, and it gave her pause.  In that moment of hesitation, Magneto spoke.

"Another telepath.  If another telepath makes contact with them, they can lead them out of it."

"Liar," Rogue said coldly, and kicked him again, in the same spot.  He whimpered a little, but made no other sounds of pain.  "Do you really think I don't know you, Erik?  You've played this little game a hundred times-tell the guards what they want to know, buy some time.  I'm not playing."  She rolled him over with another kick.  "In fact, I'm getting impatient."  She dropped to her knees, straddling him, and removed her glove.

"You are making a grave mistake," he choked out, "in making me your enemy."

"Wrong.  You've made a grave mistake in making me yours."  She reached for his face, and made contact with his bare skin.  He was fighting her, trying to block her-probably with tricks learned from his time with Charles-but in the end it was no use.  She found the information she wanted-they needed to electroshock them, to interrupt the brain wave patterns.  She was moving out of his mind and preparing to let go, when a memory flashed through her/them-it was of the rape she'd taunted him about.  It was horrific.  She let go then, and slowly rose.  Magneto remained lying on his back, and he looked at Rogue in unmitigated anger. 

"It's worse than anything else, isn't it?" she said distantly.  "Going into your mind, not just your body.  Taking your deepest memories, even parts of your soul.  It's the most awful thing."  She paused, then looked him squarely in the eye.  "I won't hesitate to do it again if I have to."  She turned and exited through the inner door, waiting for it to lock securely behind her before exiting the antechamber.  Logan met her at the outer door, then pulled her into a tight embrace. 

"I-I - I don't know what I was doing in there," she whispered, so softly that only Logan heard.  "I'm not-I'm not like that.  I-I-thought it would feel better to make him hurt, I thought it would be revenge.  But."

"But it just ended up makin' ya hurt worse."  She nodded and buried her head in his chest, crying.  He lifted her up, and carried her out of there.





The electroshock worked, and soon Jean and the Professor were back on their feet.  It was a great help to Hank to have Jean's assistance in tending to the remaining wounded in the medlab-he'd hardly slept or ate for days on end.  After about ten days, everything, was (almost) back to normal-all of the wounded were back in their own rooms, if not fully recovered.  The exception was St. John-he was healing, but it would take time.  His wound had been among the most serious injuries suffered. 

The Professor turned Magneto over to the authorities, and he was once again interred in a plastic prison.  The Professor had thanked Rogue for her help, and told her she did well and that he was proud of how she'd handled herself.  Scott, however, seemed to be of a different mind, and he requested an official debriefing of the mission from Rogue.  The Professor didn't say anything about that topic, but he did tell Scott that questions about Rogue's new living arrangements, or her relationship with Logan would be off limits. 

On the day of the debrief, Scott went over with her again and again what had happened.  He questioned Rogue closely on her decisions.  She, for the most part, gave him the formal, factual, unemotional debrief he'd requested.  The only time tears had threatened was when Scott derided her choice to have the team wait two minutes as she extracted Logan from the battle site.  Scott pointed out in no uncertain terms that the cost of those minutes could have well been St. John's life, and it was at that point that Rogue felt her eyes getting hot.   She didn't let the tears fall, though, until after the three hour session.  Then, she practically flew upstairs and sobbed in bed.

Logan came up from the kitchen a few minutes later, and, after having talked to Marie, had to be forcibly restrained by Hank, Remy, and the Professor from pummeling the still-recovering man into oblivion.   He did give Scott one parting shot as Hank and Remy shoved him toward the stairs and back to his room-"You ain't pissed at her, asshole, you're pissed at yourself for getting captured."  That gave Scott pause, but only momentarily. 

A few days after that confrontation, Marie woke in the middle of the night.  Not wanting to wake a peacefully sleeping Logan, she went out on to the back patio, hoping the quiet night sky would help to ease her mind.  She found Jean already sitting on the patio chair, and hesitated a little before joining her. 

"Hey."  Jean looked toward Marie as though she were surprised to see her.  Marie knew that must've meant the telepath had been deep in thought.  "You couldn't sleep either, huh?"

"No," Jean answered easily, reclining into the chair. 

"How's Scott?"

"He's almost a hundred percent, physically."  Something about the way Jean had said it caught Rogue's attention.  Before she had a chance to formulate a question, though, Jean said, "I'm sorry for how hard he's been on you since-well, since it happened.  He's taking it all pretty hard himself."  Rogue moved closer, getting a good look at Jean in the dim light.  She looked tired, Rogue thought, very tired.  "He blames himself for-for what Storm had to go through."

"And Logan?"  Rogue asked before she could stop herself, earning a look from Jean.  "Sorry.  It's just that we've all been through a lot, Jean.  I know-I know it's hard on Scott and I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but I've kind of got enough on my emotional hands, you know, just worrying about Logan and me.  I feel for him, but I didn't need the three-hour dressing down."

"I know," Jean answered softly.  "He feels bad about it.  I've told him to talk to you several times, but.well, I just don't think he's ready."

Rogue nodded and sat on a neighboring chair.  "And if you didn't guess by my very mature reaction just now, I'm not quite ready to talk to him either."

"It's understandable," Jean offered.  "For what it's worth, I think you did great.  I threw up on my first mission."

Rogue laughed a little at that.  "I would've if I'd have thought about it.  I'm just glad-I'm just relieved that nobody died."  She looked down at the cement for a moment.  "But I think-I know I didn't do everything right.  And people suffered because of that.  Scott's right about John-I took those two minutes to save Logan and-" Rogue cut herself off with a sob, and shot Jean an apologetic look. 

"Heyyou did what you thought was best for the team.  You took a chance that you'd still make it in time, and you did make it in time to stop Magneto.  If you'd have left Logan-something could've happened to him too.  You did what you thought was best."

"But, Jean, I didn't.  I didn't.  I couldn't leave Logan.  I-some part of me knew we didn't have time for that, but I did it anyway.  It wasn't what I thought was best for the team, I justI couldn't leave Logan."

Jean sighed.  "I don't think I could've left Scott there, if I were in your shoes.  I don't know what the right answers are, Rogue.  We do what we do and then try to go on, to live our lives."  She laid a bare hand on Rogue's clothed arm.  "John will be all right, you know."

"Yeah," she agreed. 

"I think that's part of the reason Scott's so upset with what happened-he's questioning the decisions he made too, wondering if there was some error, some mistake that led to the outcome.  He's had so much responsibility put on his shoulders so young-sometimes I think he doesn't realize that he *will* make mistakes, and that sometimes, other people will pay a high price for them."  Jean let out a short, mirthless laugh.  "He doesn't realize that sometimes you do everything perfectly and things still go straight to hell."  Rogue quirked a smile at that.  "When you're in charge, the responsibility-not always the blame, but always the responsibility-is yours in any case.  It just comes with the territory."

"I don't think I want to live in that territory.  I didn't like being in charge.  I don't know, maybe that makes me a coward or something, but I don't want that responsibility."

"Are you thinking of not joining the team?"

"Logan doesn't want me to.  He wants us to leave here, go on the road, go somewhere.  I understand-I don't like the idea of him being on the team, putting himself in danger, either.  I don't know what we're going to do."

"You're in love with him."  It wasn't a question.  "He's in love with you.  You have to do what you think is right for the both of you."

"Is the team right for you-for you and Scott?" 

Jean nodded.  "As hard as it is sometimes, I think so."

"You know, nobody told me I'd have to make all these big life decisions at eighteen."  Rogue slowly rose.  "Thanks, Jean.  I think I'm headed back to bed."

"I put you to sleep, huh?" she teased, and gave Rogue a parting smile. 





She crept into the room she shared with Logan to find him awake, and waiting for her.  "Sorry," she apologized, knowing he'd been stirred by her absence in bed. 

"Where'd you go?"

"Oh, out on the back patio for a while," she answered as she crawled under the covers and let herself be wrapped up in his arms.  "Ran into Jean."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.  You know-I think-I think maybe you're right.  We should get away, at least for a little while, have some time to ourselves."  She felt him nuzzle the back of her neck, protected by her hair.  "I take it that's a 'yes'?"  He chuckled and gently bit her neck, then playfully kissed and licked at it. 

"Hey," she said as she gingerly turned in his embrace to face him.  "Make love to me."  He smiled down at her and time seemed to stop.  There was no worry, no fear, no anxiety.  In that moment, she was content, she was whole, she was loved.  In the space of a breath, the transcendent perfection of that moment was gone, and the rightness of reality returned. 

 
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