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Title: A Month In Color Author: Terri E-Mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com Rating: R Archive: Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut, Agony and Ecstasy - anyone else, please ask :) Disclaimer: I don’t own these mutants. Darn. Feedback: Please! With a fashion consultant on top? Good, bad, and ugly welcome……… Summary: Marie comes to the mansion and her heart belongs to Scooter; but it’s not long before she realizes that the big hairy guy who’s been assigned to mentor her might not be so bad either, especially when all hell starts breaking loose….. Comments: This was inspired by Heather’s red, white, and blue Marie pics - I swear she must’ve encoded bunnies in the files for those somehow, because before I knew it, I was writing this. The bunny got me thinking - what *do* your clothes say about you? Two more quick comments - one, this is written from Logan’s POV, and he’s not the most grammatically correct kinda guy, so any mistakes are his, not the responsibility of my wonderful betas; he’s also not the most politically correct kinda guy, and any of you who may be living in a shack at the edge of town should remember that the views of the mutants as expressed herein are not necessarily the views of the author ;) Two - I’ve had bunnies chomping at my heels that would like to see the other characters’ journals during this month, but I’ve been fending those toothy little suckers off as best I can. If anyone is interested in doing someone else’s ‘month,’ just e-mail me - I’ll be happy to send a rabid little demon - er, nice, sweet, harmless, fluffy bunny - over right away. -------------------------------------------------------- April 2 New kid came in today. Came in with Scooter and lookin’ at him like he’s God Almighty. Heard the girl had Sabretooth and Mags on her tail, and Scooter fought ‘em both off to get her here. I know Chuck really wanted this one. Word has it that she’s got the mother of all powers, the ability to borrow (more like steal) other muties’ powers and use ‘em for herself. Works through her skin or some shit - I dunno, all Chuck just told us was not to touch her bare skin and to try to make her feel at home. I’ll tell ya one thing - if she’s got the bad taste to run after Scooter, Chuck oughta add ‘knock some sense into her’ to that list. Cute thing, though. Very cute. And somethin’ sweet about her too, innocent. You don’t see much of that on a kid who’s been on the road a while. Wonder how she managed to hang onta that. Dresses like hell, though. Came in wearin’ all black - black pants, black sweater, black gloves, black shoes, black coat. Nothin’ else with her, just the clothes on her back. Jeannie’ll probably get her some stuff from the hand-me-downs and get her settled in. Now there’s somethin’ I don’t wanna think about - Jeannie. Christ. I gotta find a way to get that woman outta my head for good. I’m just embarrasin’ myself here. She’s not gonna leave Scooter (God only knows why, but it’s the truth) and there’s a lotta other women in the sea. Not a lot of ‘em have fire-red hair, an ass that won’t quit, and legs that go on for miles, though. April 3 I promised Chuck I’d write in this damn thing every day, so here’s today’s entry. April 4 New kid that Scooter brought in did OK in my class today. Still wearin’ all black - depressin’ as hell, you know? Maybe she’s tryin’ to be fashionable or urbane or some shit - how the hell would I know what 17 year old girls are into these days? - but she just looks pale and shitty. A little makeup and some color on her body would work wonders - she’s not a bad lookin’ girl. She fought OK. Actually surprised the hell outta me when she didn’t go for IceCube’s feint in a little hand-to-hand exercise; I taught him that move myself and he does it damn well. I guess maybe she’s got some potential. On the Jeannie front, she’s still appearin’ in my fantasy life more than I’d like, but I saw this hot chick down at the bar last night, and I think I’m gonna nail her tonight. She’s a blonde, not a redhead, and that should help. April 5 Chuck assigned the new kid to me to mentor. Jesus Fuckin’ Christ. I told him I’m not cut out for babysittin’ teenagers, and I was hopin’ that would get me outta this mentoring bullshit he came up with for kids he’s thinkin’ about recruiting for the team. I can see why he’d want a girl with killer skin and the ability to put down any mutie we come across *and* the ability to ‘borrow’ their powers to boot for our little band of merry muties, but come on - what the hell am I gonna do with a teenage girl? I told Chuck there’s no way I’m goin’ to a mall, uh-uh. Scooter tried that with Jubes and he ended up gettin’ a pedicure. No fuckin’ way. But Chuck kept insisting, sayin’ that he needed someone close to her who could protect her, someone she’d trust in case some shit went down. According to Chuck, Mystique made a go at gettin’ inside the mansion last night and he thinks her ‘objective’ was the new kid. Somehow I let the prospect of kickin’ some Brotherhood ass on my home turf lure me into not puttin’ up too much of a fight on bein’ a mentor like Chuck asked, so now I got a 17 year old girl to deal with. So I go down to the rec room, figurin’ I might as well get this show on the road and get it over with, and she’s still dressed in all fuckin’ black - who the hell knew there were that many black clothes in the whole damn mansion? - and I say to her ‘Hey, you - come with me, I’m your new mentor.’ She looks at me like I’m nuts, which I clearly fuckin’ *am* for even agreeing to this in the first place, so I have to repeat myself before she gets her ass movin’. We go for a walk in the woods and I explain to her that every kid gets a teacher as kind of a guidance counselor so if she has any problems or shit I’m her point person. I tell her she’s lucky to have landed at Chuck’s and that she’ll be safe here while she finishes school, but she’s gotta start thinkin’ about what she wantsta do after. Here’s where I give my big pitch for joinin’ the team - Chuck woulda been proud. Well, the kid listens to all of it and don’t say nothin’ when I finish. I dunno what to say, so we walk the rest of the way in silence. Just when I think this mentoring thing might not be so bad if I got a kid who can just keep her mouth shut and stay outta my way, she goes, ‘Is Scott married to Jean?’ You know, I dunno what it is about that guy. One eye, bad-lookin’, boy scout attitude - that’s not too damn attractive in my book, but everythin’ with two x chromosomes swoons over him. So I do this poor kid a favor and say yeah, they’ve been married two years and he’s in love with her and he goes for redheads, not brunettes, anyhow, so just forget it. I swear to God she started to cry a little. What the fuck was I supposedta do then? I know what I shoulda done - I shoulda handed her a hanky and said ‘get over it.’ I really don’t need cryin’ teenage girls in my life, you know? But for some reason, I put an arm around her to try to comfort her. Well, she jumps about a mile and looks at me like I grabbed her ass or somethin’. Great. I told her - look, kid, I’m not a pervert and I’m not gonna hurt ya. I honestly dunno what the hell I was thinkin’ layin’ a hand on her, I really don’t. I have no idea how to comfort a cryin’, heartbroken teenage girl. And one heartbroken over Scooter, no less. Well, she stammers and looks at the ground a lot and then she finally busts out with ‘I don’t want to hurt *you* with my skin.’ I laughed my ass off. A - hurt me? Nothin’ can hurt me, I don’t care what the hell they say about her skin. God, the Government, and mutie-hatin’ humans have tried just about everything possible to do me in so far, and none of it made a dent. OK, maybe a dent, but it wasn’t nothin’ I didn’t heal from just fine. And B - here’s a tiny little kid worried about *her* hurtin’ *me* insteada vice versa - and the kicker is, I can tell by her scent that she really means it. I just about busted a gut there, I tell ya. I think the laughin’ made her mad or hurt her feelings or some shit ‘cause she stomped off before I could say anything else. So I followed, caught up to her, and told her not to be pissed, it just struck me funny. She whirls on me, and lookin’ alive for the first damn time since she got here, she tells me off. Yep - she turns right around and gets color on her face and says to me that she don’t appreciate bein’ made fun of and she don’t need a mentor for that - the other little mutie kids make fun of her enough already. I say - tell me who, and I’ll go kick their ass. All part of the mentoring thing, I figure, plus any excuse to put the fear of the Wolverine into those ungrateful little shits is a good thing. Kids - they’re irritatin’. But she clams up and her eyes go back to dead and she just stomps off again. I follow and hafta yell at her twice to wait up. Here’s where I should get the teacher of the damn year award. She stops and I apologize for laughin’, sayin’ I wasn’t makin’ fun of her - just that my mutation is healing and nothin’ can hurt me. That’s why it was funny, I tell her. She just looks at me a long time then says some of the kids told her my mutation was claws. I can tell she thinks I’m bullshittin’ her about why I was laughin’, so I say yeah - I got both, double the reward in the big genetic lottery, and I pop the claws on one hand just for good measure. Well, her eyes get real big and they’re frozen on the claws. I put ‘em back in, figurin’ I put enough of a scare into her for now. I tell her - look, I’m stuck with you and you’re stuck with me. We don’t hafta meet every week like the other mentors and students do, but I am gonna keep an eye on ya, and it’s my job to be the person you go to if you have a problem. She’s still starin’ at me with her mouth open wide enough to catch flies, so I say ‘what?’ And she asks - does it hurt? Does it hurt when they come out? That caught me off-guard, completely. Must have, ‘cause I tell her ‘every time.’ There goes all the fear of the Wolverine I built up over the course of the conversation. Now she’s probably gonna think I’m some pansy ass, but, on the other hand, judgin’ by her crush on One-Eye, that’s what she goes for so maybe that’ll make things smoother, who knows? She didn’t say anythin’ in response, not directly, but she tells me her name is Rogue. I never really bother to learn their names, not even the ones I gotta teach or do somethin’ with, but I kinda like that name. And now she looks pretty good - soft and nice despite the black clothes and pale skin, so I tease her a little bit and say what kind of a name is Rogue? And in my head I’m thinkin’ - what a classic teenage mutie alias. This one must have a little bit of the drama queen in her despite all the black clothes and quiet. There’s definitely more to her than meets the eye. Sure enough, I pegged her right ‘cause she comes back with - what kinda name is Wolverine? Her whole face changed when she said it, and she even smiled a little, and, wantin’ to be a good mentor or whatever, I say my name’s Logan, and she tells me her real name’s Marie but she don’t want anyone but me to know that. I just nod and there ya go. We went back to the mansion. Not bad for my first - well, I guess mentoree. Chuck’ll be happy we’re gettin’ along. April 6 Marie finally wore somethin’ not-black today - a red scarf. Probably picked red ‘cause it’s Scooter’s favorite color. I can tell she’s still hung up on One-Eye despite what I told her. Well - that’s not my problem. If she don’t wanna take my advice, fine. April 7 Got in one helluva fight today. At about 4 am the Brotherhood makes a run for the mansion and a b-line for Marie’s room. I smelled ‘em comin’ in - stink like Sabretooth’s can wake me outta a dead sleep, no problem. Still dunno how they got around security this time but that’s Scooter’s problem. My problem was stoppin’ those fuckheads once they got inside, and stop ‘em I did. Came up on Marie fightin’ with good old Big ‘N Hairy in her room. It was no contest - until I got there, of course. Heh. Stabbed him right through the back, felt one claw go through bone. He dropped the kid like a hot potato and duked it out with me. They had Toad along for the ride, but Storm fried his ass in the hallway before he even got anywhere near Marie, and I took care of Creed. Fought him outta Marie’s room and inta the hall, then down the stairs and outside. He made a run for it when he saw Toad limpin’ away. Over too soon, but it was one helluva good fight. Creed can take some punishment, I’ll tell ya that. I think Marie was a little shook up by it all, though. After I got done chasin’ Vic offa the grounds, I headed back up to check on her and she looked real pale. She didn’t say nothin’ - there was a buncha kids and teachers in her room, and I think she just wanted them all out, so I shooed everybody away. I told her not to worry, the bad guys were gone. She asks if Scott’s OK, and I think I musta rolled my eyes to the back of my head. I tell her yeah, he’s fine, whatever. She asks if I’m OK, and I musta been irritated by the mention of Scooter ‘cause I snap that I thought I told her my mutation was healin’ - don’t she pay attention when people talk? She freezes, and her eyes fly down to the floor, and she wouldn’t say anythin’ else, so I ended up leavin’. I know she was upset by all the commotion, but it’s somethin’ she’s gonna have to get acclimated to if she’s gonna be an X-Man. Our lives ain’t hearts and flowers and shoppin’ trips to the mall for pedicures, and the sooner she learns that the better. I’m only tryin’ to do the girl a favor, since I’m supposed to look after her and all. No reason she should be upset, not really. Shit, maybe I oughta just go back by her room and check her scent. April 8 And we’re back to all-black for Marie. Looks paler than I’ve ever seen her and was jumpy as hell today. She’s just got that look about her - looks like she’s gonna run. Which ain’t a good idea with the Brotherhood droolin’ over the prospect of gettin’ her on their side. I’d better keep an eye on her today. April 9 Still with the all-black wardrobe, and I was right to keep an eye on Marie. She did try to sneak out, at around 2 am. Was waitin’ outside her room, down the hall, so I busted her before she even got off the floor. I say to her - whaddya think you’re doin’? And she says ‘I’m leavin’ before anyone else gets hurt.’ I tell her like it is - people are gonna get hurt whether she’s here or not, and if the Brotherhood gets to her and makes her join up with ‘em, a *helluva* lotta people are gonna get hurt. She says maybe, but not the ones she really cares about. I know she’s talkin’ about One-Eye, so I can’t help but roll my eyes again, and she makes for the staircase. So I catch up with her and tell her, look - Scooter can take care of himself. And he’s gonna fight with those Brotherhood assholes regardless, so am I. Shit happens, you know, and besides, she ain’t the center of the universe - shit’s gonna happen to Scooter whether she stays or goes. Well, she stops and blinks up at me with those big eyes and the pale face and says if she’s not the center of the universe, then why’re the Brotherhood tryin’ so hard to get a hold of her and why am I tryin’ so hard to keep her here? OK, she’s got a point, so I decide to take another tact. I tell her to just stick around until she finishes school - then she can do whatever the hell she wants. I mean, I’m her mentor, and it’s gonna look bad on me if she runs away in the middle of the night. She kinda smiles and looks a little better and says I don’t like the job anyway, so what do I care? At this point, I’m just so glad to see her have *some* kinda expression and liveliness, so I say - I don’t care about the job but it’s hell when you piss off a telepath, and I learned long ago to stay on Chuck’s good side. She says - or what? He’ll assign you bad jobs like watching teenagers or something? Couldn’t help it, I laughed at that. But I think it was the right thing ‘cause she laughed too and put her bag down. When she was done laughin’ but still smilin’, I told her - seriously - I don’t wantcha to get hurt. Stick around here where at least we can help out if someone comes after you. She gets all serious and asks me why I care if she gets hurt. Before I can say anythin’ she says not to tell her it’s ‘cause she’s assigned to me or whatever - she knows I don’t give a shit about that. So I tell her the truth - I just don’t wanna see her hurt. Don’t really know why. Just don’t wanna see that. She nodded and said OK, so I guess that was the answer she needed. She picked her bag back up and went back to her room. I spent a lotta time thinkin’ about *why* it was that I did give a shit if she got hurt. She’s nothin’ to me, not really. Just another mutie kid comin’ through. No reason on earth why I should give a shit one way or another. When I can’t figure shit like that out, Chuck always recommends just lettin’ my mind drift, lettin’ it settle on things on its own, so I tried that. Didn’t help, though, ‘cause what my mind settled on was her wearin’ that red scarf after the first time we talked, after the first time she asked me about the claws and whether they hurt. That don’t make any sense. April 10 The red scarf has returned. Marie looked better today too - more color in her face, lookin’ livelier, like she actually mighta spent a second or even two not bein’ completely depressed over the state of things today. Decided to roll with my luck while it was in, so I offered to take her out to get a burger. She smiled at that and asked if I was buyin’. I told her I guess I hafta unless she’s got a hidden stash somewhere. She laughed at that. I told her I’d pick her up after her last class. Chuck corralled me before the end of the day, asked me how it was goin’ with Rogue. I told him it was goin’ fine - didn’t mention anythin’ about her sneakin’ out in the middle of the night or her wantin’ to run. She didn’t wind up leavin’, so why mention it? Chuck asks if she was freaked out by the attack the other night, and I say hell yeah, who wouldn’t be? Then he said somethin’ strange. He says to me - Logan, just remember that Rogue is very young and very vulnerable. I say - yeah, no shit, that’s why you got me playin’ bodyguard to the girl. He says to remember she’s still a student, at least for a little while, and at that point I get a little pissy. I tell him look - if you think I’m the kinda guy who nails little girls for fun why the hell didya ask me to spend time with her, to mentor her and look out for her? He gives me a look and says this non sequitur about how I don’t have an affinity for many people and he realizes that. I just say - yeah? Then he says that he trusts my sense of honor and conscience. I snipe that that makes one of us. He says that a war’s comin’ and I say he’s been tellin’ us that for years. He says that Marie - only he doesn’t know that name and calls her Rogue - could be the key, the decisive factor. I say she’s not a key, she’s a 17 year old girl. Then he says, in a real weird tone, ‘Logan - she will be finished with her studies very soon. At that point, she will be considered an adult,’ and for some reason that just stops me cold. Chuck wheels away without sayin’ another word. I’m not stupid - I get what he’s gettin’ at even if he didn’t come right out and say it. But I’m not in love with the girl or anythin’. I don’t fall in love, it doesn’t happen. I just plain don’t have the capacity for it. Even with Jeannie - well, that was mostly lust and wantin’ whatcha can’t have. I know that. If I wanna see to it that Marie doesn’t get hurt, it doesn’t mean anythin’ beyond just that - not wantin’ to see her hurt - and besides, even if it did, she’s got her head turned toward Scooter so damn far she couldn’t see anythin’ else. She’s a kid, my mentee or whatever, and that’s it. That’s it. So I’m thinkin’ about all this when I meet her after class. She notices somethin’s different, and she goes all quiet. We have the most silent meal two people ever had in the history of burger joints. It sucked. April 10 Back to all-black after dinner, and I know it’s cause of that, but I dunno what to say to her to fix it. I heard from Jubilee - how can ya *not* hear anythin’ that girl screeches out? - that Marie’s friends are takin’ her to the mall tomorrow, and Scooter’s goin’ with ‘em, just in case. I bet Marie’s gonna be in her glory - pedicures and Scooter all in one place. Dammit. April 11 Pedicures and Scooter mustn’t have been all it’s cracked up to be - Marie’s in all black again today. Kinda avoidin’ me, or maybe I’m avoidin’ her. I dunno. I’m still thinkin’ about what Chuck said. April 12 Marie came to see me today - still in all black. She says she’s thought a lot about what I said that night she was gonna run and now she thinks maybe I was wrong. She says she thinks she’s gonna head out tonight, be on her own again a while. She says she thinks that’ll be for the best and there’s not really anythin’ for her here. She says she wanted to tell me just in case I was thinkin’ about tryin’ to stop her - she wanted me to know I didn’t hafta and that she’d leave a note for Chuck sayin’ I did a good job and not to think it was on me that she left. She finished sayin’ all that and got about ten steps away before I could move. I caught up to her and said - look, you don’t wanna go. The Brotherhood - they ain’t gonna take you on trips to the mall. They’re a bunch of real bad-asses. She says she knows, she’s met up with Sabretooth before. She said it real casual, and it shocked the shit outta me, but the only thought that kept runnin’ through my brain was that maybe I’d wear all black and be real quiet too if I was a young girl that had tangled with that sick bastard. By the time I got my head back together, she was another fifteen steps away. I caught back up to her and said - stay. That’s it, that’s all, just - stay. I know she could tell by the way I said it that it was no bullshit, that I was sayin’ it ‘cause *I* wanted her to stay, and at that moment, I didn’t give a shit about what Chuck had said or what she felt for Scooter or anythin’ but gettin’ her to stick around. She looked all pained and said she didn’t know if that was the right thing. I told her - look, Marie, nobody knows if what they’re doin’ is the right thing. It’s just not that simple in real life. You get a buncha choices, and there’s no clear-cut path with a big fuckin’ neon ‘RIGHT THING’ sign over it. Sometimes you just hafta do the best you can and trust your gut. I don’t think I’ve ever made a speech like that in my life. Marie looks at me and takes a deep breath. Some color creeps into her face and I can tell by that and her scent that the speech had the right words in it. She gives a little smile and says her gut tells her to do things like dress in blue leather pants and skimpy red dresses and to dye her hair green, so should she really listen to a gut like that? I say why the hell not - except for the green hair part. Don’t wanna look like you’ve got mold growin’ on your head. She laughed, I laughed, and I knew she was stayin’. Thank God. April 13 That thing Chuck said about a war comin’ - I didn’t know he meant this week. Fuckin’ humans attacked the mansion. I’m still too goddamn pissed to write much about it, but I thought I’d better write down the names of the dead before I forget. Between Scooter, Jeannie, ‘Ro and me, we got most of ‘em out alive, but St. John, Remy, and the girl that had bones stickin’ out all over herself - Marrow, that was it, and her real name was Sarah - they didn’t make it. The rest of us scattered in four directions. I ain’t sayin’ where the others went in this journal. I picked north. I took Marie, IceCube, the big blue furry one, the other blue furry one with a tail, and Kitty. Chuck made it out, told us to lay low for now and said he’d call on the brain phone when it was safe. Safe - it’s not gonna be safe for a helluva long time. Those fuckers came with stealth planes and missile launchers, the kinda toys you can only get from Uncle Sam. We’re fucked. April 14 Got Marie and Kitty some clothes while IceCube and me went for supplies. I didn’t buy Marie nothin’ black, but she took mostly black things with her when we ran from the mansion. I got her some jeans, some warm stuff. After all, we’re takin’ to the woods - nowhere to hide in civilization with two muties as obvious as Hank and Kurt. The kids - they’re all freakin’ out. Kitty hasn’t said a word, she just shakes like a leaf, Hank keeps yammerin’ about how he’s not gonna ever get to go to college, and Kurt goes on and on about what they might do to him if they catch him. IceCube - he’d be fallin’ apart at the seams if I wasn’t givin’ him orders every minute. The only one not losin’ it is Marie. But I have a feelin’ she’ll be wearin’ all black for a while regardless of the new clothes. April 14 Found a place to settle in after the stop for supplies. Set up the little transistor radio and heard on it that the unit that attacked us back in Westchester was a ‘Rogue’ unit, not officially sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Of course - that’s what they would fuckin’ say if it flopped. I still think those bastards are out to get us, and I’m stayin’ right here, north of the border, until I hear from Chuck. Hell, even if I do hear from Chuck I might not come back down. Marie made a face when the news announcer said it was a ‘Rogue’ unit. She said later - what if that was somethin’ like a Freudian slip, or some kinda clever-ass joke? What if it really was a Rogue unit - meanin’, a unit sent to get *her*. I told her no way. The only way the government would know about her at all was if Mags or one of his buddies said somethin’. Sure enough, right on cue, the next news broadcast we hear is blah, blah, blah weather, blah, blah, blah sports, and in world news at the top of the hour - the United States government has arrested Erik Lenscherr and charged him with aggravated terrorism and unlawful use of mutant powers. Several of his ‘associates’ were also detained. Marie went pale as I’ve ever seen her at that, but I still don’t think they were after just her. You don’t send an air force after one girl, no matter how powerful she is, and besides - they have a history of just nabbin’ random muties and experimentin’ on ‘em for no good reason. I can attest to that personally. Speakin’ of which - I tell Marie that later, when we’re alone and hunkered down for the night in our tent, and she asks me if that’s why my claws are metal, inorganic, if that was done to me by the government. I say - yeah, they did that. And then she moves over in the sleepin’ bag and hugs me, real carefully. Felt weird. April 15 Tax day. Fuck ‘em. I ain’t payin’ for the stealth planes they send to hunt me down and the bullets they shoot at me. April 16 We’re damn far in now, nothin’ but wilderness for dozens of kilometers in every direction. It’s a perfect spot - rugged terrain, secluded. Hell, the only one who would be able to reach us here *would* be Chuck, usin’ the brain phone. Still haven’t heard anythin’, though. Marie’s holdin’ up OK. She took to this - camping, living in tents, hiking up the mountain - like a duck on water. She’s doin’ real good, and I think bein’ way out here is actually reassuring her a little, making her feel better, calmer. She never looks like she wantsta run, not like she looked back at the mansion, despite all the shit that’s hit the fan. Plus - she wore the red scarf today. The other kids’re settling in a little. Kitty and Hank took one tent, and I think they’re both helpin’ to calm the other one down a bit. Kurt and Bobby are sharing a tent, and they made some joke about this bein’ not too different from the mansion after all - they’re still roommates. I didn’t think about it when we set out, but I just automatically put Marie in a tent with me. I didn’t think about it at all until IceCube gave her a look when she came out for breakfast this morning. It wasn’t a rude look - woulda clawed him if it was - but it was a look, and it reminded me that she’s technically still a student, my student. But then again, maybe all those rules are off now that the war is on. April 17 Good day today. Had a good hunt. Tried teaching the boys to hunt and even though Hank threw up when we gutted the elk we got, they all did pretty OK. Marie wore black pants but she put on the green sweater I got for her. That is the most color I’ve ever seen her wear, and it looked good on her. She looks good in green. We had an interesting conversation this morning. She said to me - how long do you think we’ll be out here? I said I dunno. She went quiet for a few minutes and then she said - maybe we should build a shelter, somethin’ more permanent than the tents. I said maybe, but I don’t know anything about architecture and besides, a shelter might attract attention. She nodded and said she kinda likes it here, it’s not like anywhere she’s ever been before, and then just like that, she steps over to me and snuggles up against my side, kinda shrugs my arm up around her shoulders. I don’t mind that too much, so I say - I like it here too. It’s quiet. Not a lotta people. Good clean air and bright stars. I couldn’t really see her face, but I bet she smiled at that because her voice sounded like it had a smile in it when she said I was right, it was a good place. Then she said she wouldn’t mind it if she didn’t ever go back to Westchester. That kinda threw me for a loop. I mean - yeah, she had a bad experience with the attack on the mansion, but it’s still, you know - a *mansion*. It’s a damn nice place, plus Scooter’s there. Whatever happens here, with this war thing and the humans and the government, surely she realizes that when it does all get straightened out or fought out, whichever, Scooter’s ass is right back in New York. Musta not been thinkin’ right ‘cause before I knew it I was tellin’ myself to quit thinkin’ about Scooter at all and I was sayin’ - sure, we don’t hafta go back there, necessarily. I mean, I’d like to keep in touch with Chuck and all and fightin’ the forces of evil, that’s a good gig, but hey, who says it hasta be done by livin’ in New York in a mansion? And then it gets worse - I start blabbin’ all this stuff about how a life out in the country is a good life and how one day it wouldn’t be too bad to have a home of my own, a woman, a family. I’m ramblin’ on and on about fresh air and home-cooked dinners and rockin’ chairs on front porches like some kinda idiot. Marie just let me talk until I ran outta words and then she said it sounded nice, what I said, that she didn’t know if she’d ever have a family and all ‘cause of her skin, but that the rest of it sounded real nice. I said kids - they’re a pain in the ass sometimes anyhow. Here comes the interesting part. She looks up at me and I look down at her and right like that, in that moment I know - I know that Chuck was right. I *don’t* have an affinity for too goddamn many people but I’d do just about anythin’ to keep this person standin’ next to me safe. I *like* her. I wanna protect her, hang out with her, take care of her. And I want her to like me, not fuckin’ Scooter. Figures, you know, that major shit like that would dawn on me when I’m out in the middle of nowhere, not lookin’ for it or anythin’, just runnin’ for my life. And it figures that when I finally do feel somethin’ strong that’s not in the ‘homicidal rage’ category, it’d be love for a teenage girl. Shit, I’m probably ten times her age if I’m a day. It’s like some story right outta one of those movies you see on bad cable stations on Saturday afternoons. In fact, I can see it now - today, on the Wifetime Movie Network, a grizzled old bad-ass falls for his student, but the student’s in love with another teacher who’s a real stick-in-the-mud tight-ass. But - I don’t think it’s love. I don’t think she’s in love with Scooter. She hasn’t mentioned him at all since we left the mansion, not even to ask if I think he’s OK. And then there was that hug in the sleepin’ bag the other night. And puttin’ my arm around her today. Aw, shit - what the hell do I know about love anyway? Maybe she still does have feelings for him. But I’ll tell ya somethin’ - he’s not here with her now. I am. April 18 Life is good. Betcha never thought you’d hear those words outta the Wolverine, didya? Well, today is an exception to the usual miasma of shit that floats through my life. Today was a very good day. It all started this morning, when it was nice and sunny and a little warmer and I suggested the kids havin’ a bath in the little lake down the hill. Marie seemed to really take to that idea and she confessed to me that she’s been worried she was gettin’ a little ‘ripe.’ I told her not to worry -to my nose, everyone is pretty smelly most of the time. As soon as the words were out, I realized that mighta been less than reassuring, but before I could backtrack, she laughed. You know - her whole face lights up when she laughs. I like seein’ her that way. Anyway - we grab some stuff and head down to the lake. Took turns bathin’, with the boys and me goin’ first and Kitty and Marie hoppin’ in after us. I didn’t peek. Was tempted, though. They finish and we head back up and Marie’s walkin’ beside me, smellin’ damn good all clean. She tugs at my arm to get me to walk slower, and at first I think it’s ‘cause I was hikin’ up too fast but then I realize it’s because she wants to say somethin’ to me, so I slow way down and let the kids scramble up the hill. I give her a coupla minutes, let her get her thoughts in order, and I notice that she’s put on this nice pair of jeans and a warm sweater, a pink one that I remember thinkin’ looked girly but Marie-ish when I bought it back at the store. Before she can say whatever’s on her mind, I say ‘No black’ ‘cause I was just so surprised all of a sudden that there wasn’t a stitch of black clothing on her anywhere. Of course she looks confused, but she catches on pretty fast. ‘I thought I’d try something different,’ she says, and I say it looks good on her, ‘cause it does. Then she says - Logan, I don’t want you to be my mentor anymore. But she didn’t say it in a snitty way. Not at all - more like a - a flirty way, and I’m thinkin’ this is *good*, this is really good. So I say fine by me, but if she doesn’t want me to be that, what does she want me to be? Hey, I can be flirty too. She says she likes me bein’ her bed-mate or sleeping-bag-mate or whatever and she starts to blush pink on her cheeks, almost the same exact pink as the sweater. Somewhere along the way, we stopped walkin’ altogether, and I stop to think that this makes one helluva nice picture - Marie, with no black on, just the pink sweater and pink cheeks and a smile and a wonderful, delicious smell, all framed by the backdrop of the clearest, most serene mountain lake you’ve ever seen and pine trees, green, full pine trees wavin’ in the wind. Really - does my life get much better than this? This is probably the best picture I’ve ever had to put in my head. The slideshow up there usually is fulla dark rooms, blood, hot searin’ metal bein’ poured onta bare bones - not too fuckin’ pleasant. Even the pictures that aren’t outta some horror show aren’t exactly enticing - most of ‘em are just me, alone, in some dingy bar, fightin’ for money or me, alone in some hotel room - or me in a hotel room and not alone, but still pretty much feelin’ like I am. None of ‘em have this alpine forest and beautiful girl; none of ‘em have the emotions I’m feelin’ now that make the pictures come to life, that make ‘em seem like they’re in living technicolor. So I’m thinkin’ all this and while I am, I’m starin’ at her like an idiot, smilin’ like one to boot, and her blush subsides a little and she says - what she’d really like me to be is her lover, am I interested in bein’ that? Only she stumbles over the word ‘lover’ and looks down at the ground and I can’t see if the blush is back, but I bet it was. I say ‘yeah.’ Just - yeah. She looks back up, and smiles at me and starts walkin’ up the hill again. She says she knows it’s not a good deal - killer skin, people chasin’ her, no family or money to speak of. I fall into step beside her, shrug my shoulders and say she’s got other qualities that make it worth it. I tell her - it’s not every day I find someone I give a shit about - hell, it’s not *any* day that I find someone I *really* give a shit about. But she’s that someone and if she’s willin’ to hook up with someone like me, as-is - killer claws, experimented on, unstable in the head, no family and not much money to speak of - then that’s a pretty damn good deal in my book. As soon as my mouth stopped flappin’ she stopped in her tracks and looked at me. For a second I was sure I said somethin’ wrong or somethin’ that convinced her to change her mind. It was like, for a moment, I was sure she musta been thinkin’ - oh yeah, he *is* fucked up in the head, what the hell am I doin’ askin’ him to be my lover? I oughta go track down that guy with the red sunglasses, see if I can’t convince him to ditch his wife. But then she says, in a little bit of a shaky voice, that I’m not the guy who was experimented on and everything else I said - I’m the guy who saved her life from the government, the guy who keeps wanting to keep her close to him, the one who gets into a sleepin’ bag with her every night despite knowin’ one centimeter of bare skin could be the end of me. I’m the guy who took the two most obvious, hard to hide mutants with him when the government came to get us all, I’m the one who has kept us safe and in one piece, and I’m the one who bought her a pink sweater and no black clothes. That’s who I am, she says. And she says it like she means it, like it’s somethin’ she’s so damn sure of. I didn’t really know what to say to that. I don’t think she knew what to say either - it was a heavy moment. So she reached out and grabbed my hand - she had gloves on, like always, pink gloves to go with the sweater, and I remember that I didn’t buy those for her - she musta had ‘em hidden somewhere all along. I squeeze her hand and say ‘OK’ ‘cause somebody hadta say somethin’ and then she nodded and we started back up the hill. After a few steps she says - did I ever thank you for this sweater? I tell her - yeah, darlin’, you just did. See what I mean? Life *is* good. April 19 What I said about life bein’ good yesterday - well, I’m beginnin’ to think that life only lets ya have moments like that so it can kick ya in the ass all the harder later. Got a call from Chuck on the brain phone today, askin’ us to head on back to New York. Said he personally investigated the shit that went down and is convinced that it was a splinter group, that it wasn’t officially sanctioned by the U.S. government. I told him - what the hell does that matter? Even if it’s true (and I dunno if it is - I mean, yeah, Chuck’s a telepath so he should know a lie when he’s told one, but on the other hand, he’s also an optimist - he’d *wanna* believe that’s true so damn bad he can probably taste it…….and - what was I sayin’? Oh yeah - even if it is true, so what? It still goes to show that the government can’t control its own people, that the splinter groups ain’t gonna follow their orders. Which still adds up to ‘we’re fucked’ in my book. So I tell Chuck - look, I gotta think about this. There’s silence on his end for a long time. Then he says - it really is safe to come back, Logan, I’m sure of it. I say - I ain’t so sure, and I’m stayin’ put while I think it over. There’s somethin’ at the back of my brain that just won’t let me round up the troops and get the wagon train back east on the road. And when somethin’s stickin’ in the back of my mind like that - well, let’s just say that experience has taught me to pay a-fuckin’-tention to it. But Chuck don’t like that answer and he gets a little pissy. He says I needta come back and am I sure it’s safety I’m worried about? I say hell yeah, and I think I got a good reason to be worried over it, given that the fuckers who did this killed three students - whether it was officially sanctioned or not, those kids’re still six feet under, ain’t they? Chuck says he understands, but he thinks there’s another factor. He thinks maybe I’ve gotten closer to Marie - only he calls her Rogue and I remember to keep that little bit of knowledge about her real name outta the front of my brain while I’m talkin’ to Chuck - and maybe I don’t want that to change. Of course, I tell him to fuck off. Ain’t none of his business. So he ignores that and says to give it some thought, but he’ll expect an answer by this time tomorrow. Wonder what he'll do if the answer is I ain’t comin’ back. April 20 Spent a restless night last night, couldn’t sleep at all, woke Marie up and everythin’. Turned out to be a good thing because she decided to stay awake and talk this thing about Chuck out a little bit with me. And lemme tell ya, she brought up some very fuckin’ good points about why this whole thing ain’t sittin’ right with me. Like this one - I tell her about my conversation with Chuck on the brain phone and she listens to it all, and when I say ‘so whaddya think’ she says she thinks it’s a little weird he didn’t just send the plane for us. I didn’t really catch on at first, but she explains a little - I probably wouldnta been the first one Chuck rang up on the brain phone. He woulda called Scooter first, and Scooter wouldnta asked any questions, he woulda just high-tailed it back. Why didn’t Chuck just say - hey, I’m gonna send Scooter to come getcha in the Blackbird, get your ass on it or don’t, whatever, but I’m pickin’ up the kids. That was a damn good question and it made me start wonderin’ about other things. First, there’s why Chuck didn’t ask where we were. Maybe he already knows - Cerebro could be back up and runnin’, maybe, but he’d have a hard time pinpointing me with it this far away. Why didn’t he just ask where we were and send somebody - even if, for whatever reason it wasn’t gonna be Scooter in the Blackbird? Which made me think - why didn’t he tell me how the other X-men were doin’, if they’d made it out all right, if they were all OK, if the kids with ‘em were OK. Sure, I wouldn’t think to ask ‘cause - well, ‘cause mostly I figure either they made it or not and there ain’t much I can do to help ‘em now if it’s ‘not’ but Chuck woulda said somethin’, you’d think, either way. He woulda either said - hey, no worries, everybody’s safe, or go into one of his ‘I regret to inform you’ speeches that he always uses when there’s bad news. But he didn’t say a thing, not a peep. And speakin’ of his lack of concern for the others, what about his concern for us? He don’t hafta give a shit about me - he knows I’ll heal - but he never asked if all the kids I took with me were alive and well, and if there’s one thing I’d have thought would be at the top of Chuck’s list of questions, it woulda been that. But the only one he even mentioned at all was Marie. That’s when a cold feelin’ hit me right in the gut. You know - what if Marie’s little theory was right? What if they really were after her and somehow usin’ Chuck to get a hold of her, to find her. It’d be just like those lazy government bastards to try to get her to come to them insteada tryin’ to find her themselves. Plus, they could get a buncha bonus muties if I showed up with the rest of the kids in tow and have a good laugh at how they pulled one over on the dumb animal, on the Wolverine. Well, Marie musta noticed I hit on somethin’ ‘cause she started askin’ me what I was thinkin’ and I didn’t wanna tell her at first and freak her out, but eventually, I did tell her what I thought. She asked me how they’d get over on Chuck - with him bein’ one of the most powerful telepaths around, how could they make him try to trick us? I dunno. But just because I can’t figure out how they’d do it doesn’t mean they didn’t find a way, and the rest of the situation jibes with my theory pretty damn good. Marie’s eyes get really big, and I can see that in the dark, but I wonder if she thinks I can’t ‘cause she tried hard to keep her voice steady when she asked if I thought we should get outta here. I put both hands on her arms and she jumped. But she settled when she realized I was wearin’ gloves and when she remembered she had a long-sleeved top on. I say, real calmly, that if they knew we were here, they woulda come and gotten us by now; Chuck didn’t ask where we were but if he does when I talk to him on the brain phone later today, and if he puts up a big fight about us not comin’ back right away, well, we’ll have a clue. We just stay put for now. No reason to run yet. She didn’t say anything for a long time, but she scooted forward and leaned her head on my shoulder. I could almost see what she was thinkin’ - she really wanted to run, to just up and leave us insteada takin’ the chance on us gettin’ hurt because of her. I know her pretty well by now. I squeezed her tight to me and said look, Marie, it’s gonna be OK, we’re gonna make it through, but you gotta stick with me. She said she didn’t think that was such a good idea. I told her she was dead wrong - and that if she ran, I’d leave the other kids and track her down. She sat back a little to look at me and said ‘why?’ I wanted to say a lotta stuff, but I’m not good at puttin’ those kinda things into words, so I just said I wouldn’t have anyone to get pink sweaters for if she was gone. A coupla tears came down, but in the end, she stayed in the sleepin’ bag all snuggled up to me, and I knew by her scent and demeanor that she wasn’t gonna run, that she was stayin’ here. Made me feel relieved and kinda awed by the responsibility all at once - not that Marie’s a burden to look after, just that it’s a big load on your shoulders to know that someone is changin’ what they’d normally do because of you, that they’re takin’ a risk because of what you asked them to do. Means you gotta make sure they don’t regret that decision, and if the shit was really about to start rainin’ down upon us, I wasn’t 100% sure I could keep her safe. I mean - I was 1000% sure I’d die tryin’ but that ain’t the same thing as a guarantee of success. But Marie - she’s been around some, and I think she’s a little more savvy than a lotta people give her credit for. I think she knew there’s no guarantee. There was still a lotta frightened in her scent. I can only stand that for so long - ya know, Jubilee screechin’ and the smell of scared Marie are two sure-fire things that can bring the Wolverine to beggin’ and pleadin’ in no time - so I tried to talk about somethin’ else. Couldn’t come up with anythin’ good, and the mood was too rough to try jokin’, so I settled on somethin’ that I just wanted to know. I asked her if she wishes she woulda gone with Scooter. She whispers no, and I think she’s gonna leave it at that for a second, but then she says that she knows she was right with what she said before - Scooter woulda been called by the Professor first, and he woulda headed straight back with her in tow, no questions asked. If *I’m* right about what I think might be goin’ on, she’d be in the hands of the government already by now - maybe dead, maybe wishin’ she was dead. I dunno exactly what to say to that because it’s true, it’s the answer I wanted to hear, but that’s not the explanation I was hopin’ for. It wasn’t exactly ‘gee, Logan, no way, you’re the only guy for me.’ But then she whispered again, this time sayin’ that if she’d have gone with Scott, he wouldnta even told her about the conversation with Chuck. He wouldnta listened to her reservations or fears about the whole thing. He just woulda made a decision and then expected her to go along with it. He doesn’t know that sometimes you gotta take into account other people’s ideas, even when they’re maybe wrong or maybe just sproutin’ up outta paranoia and fear, and that he doesn’t know that doin’ that - it don’t make him any less of a leader or a man. She says there’s an appeal to havin’ someone who’s always so sure of himself, that it can make you feel safe and at first, she liked him a lot for that. But now she thinks that maybe it’s a false sense of security, that maybe there’s no substitute for doin’ the work and the worryin’ for yourself. ‘Cause in the end, you’re the one that suffers the consequences anyway - might as well be in on the decision or at least get a hearing. I was digesting everythin’ she’d said, thinking about it. Because, to tell the truth, that wasn’t the explanation I wanted either, but I kinda liked that she thought of me as a partner, not as some kinda superior officer or order-giver or even some kinda far-distant protector. Maybe this explanation made things harder, but maybe it made them better too. I musta been quiet a long time because finally she asked me to say somethin’ and I said that I thought she was right and that if she stuck with me, we’d work it like this. Because the truth is - I don’t needta be in charge. That’s a big misconception about me generally speakin’. I know what people think - Logan the dominant, Logan the alpha male. And that’s true, but the reality of it is different from people’s stereotypes of it. I gotta look out for me, yeah. There’s a lotta things I won’t bend or give in on, yeah. But in the big picture, I don't need bars on my shoulders or medals on my chest or for everybody to call me ‘sir.’ That shit is all to convince other people you’re important, to convince them that you know what the hell you’re doin’ when you’re not so sure yourself. I *know* that I know what I’m doin’; I don’t need to be ‘team leader’ to have other people see that and respect that. I’m also smart enough to know that two heads are usually a helluva lot better than one. I know where my weaknesses are, I know that even when there’s not a weakness there, another perspective can be a damn valuable thing. That’s bein’ the alpha - ensuring your place, ensuring your survival by doin’ whatcha hafta do. That don’t mean ignoring everybody’s opinion but your own, and, in the long run, it means working *with* people you trust, not puttin’ ‘em under your heel. ‘Course, the list of people I trust is a damn short one, and I still say fuck everyone else, so I can see where people get confused. I didn’t tell Marie all of that, but I did tell her a little, and I think she got the gist of it. She said she’d like stickin’ with me if it was gonna work like that, and I said OK. Now, we just gotta deal with the immediate crisis and find out what’s really goin’ on with Chuck. April 21 Well past the time Chuck was gonna call on the brain phone, and I still haven’t heard a thing, so we’re gettin’ the hell outta here, just in case. Gonna travel by night and lay low. Marie’s nervous, but I told her and the other kids not to worry, we’d make it. April 22 Got to a new spot, decided on spendin’ the day in a buncha caves. Normally, I don’t like places where there’s only one way out and it’s a pretty fuckin’ obvious one to boot, but this’ll keep us hidden during the day and it’s got water. Marie’s nervous, but hangin’ in there. She’s got black pants on, but the pink sweater stayed. I kissed her today, right on the lips, using one of my nice hankies. I think that took her mind off things a little. April 23 Fuckin’ finally. Got a call from Chuck - an actin’-normal Chuck on the brain phone, thank God. Said that Scooter rescued him from some government bastards and that Jeannie did a little emergency brain surgery on him, but he’s back to normal now. Turns out they put some kinda chip in his head that fucked with his mind, wanted to control him but Chuck broke through it in a coupla days and called Scooter for help. He’s doin’ OK now, but he’s still not movin’ too well, so he’s gonna stick with Jeannie and head back to Westchester. He says the news *was* right, it was a rogue group of the military, but he thinks there’s a lotta the fuckers still out there. He’s gonna stay nice and visible and hope for the best, but he don’t wanna take any undue chances with the kids just yet. Now, that’s the Chuck I know and love - optimistic, but still pretty damn practical. Nice to have him back to normal. But that was the good news - and there was plenty of bad news lookin’ over its shoulder. Chuck said he did think that Rogue was an ‘objective.’ He told me to stay with her, not to bring her back to New York under any circumstances. It was just too dangerous, at least until they could be sure all the renegade military guys had been rooted out, which is gonna be never ‘cause those little fuckers multiply faster than rabbits on speed. All you gotta do is tell ‘em - hey, it’s a mutie’s fault that you don’t have a job, they’re takin’ all the good jobs. Or - hey, you’re livin’ in a shack at the edge of town? Well, it can’t be ‘cause you drink your welfare check away and can’t get off your ass and go get a job and sober the shit up. Oh no, it’s them damn muties, they control things, they’re holdin’ ya back! Yeah- muties - they hate us and wanna kill every last one of us! The world is poppin’ at the seams with dumbasses that will believe that shit, who’ll look under every rock for the cause of their troubles before lookin’ in the damn mirror. I told Chuck that, and he said maybe we wouldn’t ever get ‘em all, but one day the world would change enough to make them ashamed of what they’re doing, to make their hate and violence simply impractical. Then, they’d have nothing to do and nowhere to go. I couldn’t believe I was hearin’ that shit. I told him - yeah, you know, you’re right. After all, look how well that’s worked in the thousands of years we’ve had civilization so far - yeah, no more Klan, no skinheads, no gay-bashers, nothin’ like that around today. We’re doin’ a bang-up fuckin’ job. He told me to quit bein’ a sarcastic jerk, but in fancier words than that, and told me to keep the kids with me for a few more days, then Scooter would be out to get them if everything was still OK. He didn’t have to repeat what he’d said about not bringin’ Rogue back. We both knew what the situation was. Now here’s the part where I kinda put one over on Marie, but it was for her own good. I told her most of what Chuck had said, but I said that he wasn’t sure if they were after her or not. I told her that I told Chuck we’d be keepin’ to ourselves for a while just in case, that I thought that was safest and best for her. Which is true. I just didn’t want her to be overly scared or paranoid, which tellin’ her what Chuck had said about her not comin’ back until we had world fuckin’ harmony or some shit woulda made her. I dunno if I really fooled her or not; she can be hard to read sometimes. All she said was ‘ok’ and when do the other kids go back? I told her a coupla days and she nodded and that was it. I think she’s coping OK, though. She put the pink gloves on after we talked. April 24 Today was pretty quiet. Bobby and the other kids are eager to go back, talkin’ all about school and the mansion and - just trivial shit, you know? Lookin’ at Marie, it dawned on me that she never talks about things like that. Made me depressed, so I offered to take her for a walk. She agreed, and for a few hundred meters, we didn’t say anything at all. I was the one who began the conversation, somethin’ which I am proud of, thankyouverymuch. I asked how she was feelin’, no less - an Oprah moment if I’ve ever had one. She said she was feeling ‘odd,’ which matched how she looked, lemme tell ya - she was wearin’ navy blue pants and this orange sweatshirt with a green turtleneck and red socks. Even I know that don’t match. But still, there’s no black, so that must mean somethin’, even if I’m not sure exactly what. Well, anyway - she goes on to say that she knows she shouldn’t be happy that we kinda hafta stay on the run from those people tryin’ to get her, but that she kinda *is* happy. Then she blushes and says she thinks it has something to do with when I kissed her a coupla days ago and how much she’s liked hangin’ out with me the past few weeks. Says it’s a distraction from just about anythin’, even life-endangerment and shit like that. I get real suave - dunno where that came from - and I say ‘well, you know, darlin’, I’m happy to take your mind offa that and kisses are available anytime you like. Other things too.’ She blushes more but smiles too and I start thinkin’ - you know, orange and green, it don’t really look that bad on her at all, it’s just a little unusual, but it kinda goes together, now that I’m thinkin’ about it. Then all my suave disappears and I bust out with ‘you know we’re gonna have sex once the other kids’re gone, right?’ Yeah, I’m a smooth one. Before I could pull my foot outta my mouth or my head outta my ass or whatever appendage I’d shoved where it don’t belong, she says she kinda thought I’d wanna do that, but she was hopin’ to go a little slower, to ease into things. I asked if she was nervous ‘cause of me, ‘cause of the claws and shit. She looked surprised as hell when I asked that, and I was glad to see her expression and hear her say no. To make a long story short, we talked, and we negotiated for doin’ somethin’ new each day until, you know, we were both ready to have sex. Sex negotiations - who’d have ever thought I’d be involved in sex negotiations? But it wasn’t all bad. Tonight, she did try somethin’ new, and it was pretty damn good. April 25 The ‘one new thing every night’ settlement in the Great Logan and Marie Sex Treaty of April 24th? Yeah, that’s workin’ out pretty good for both parties. It’s a new age of détente. Heh. April 26 Marie’s new thing today was takin’ off her top, and lemme tell ya, she’s got spectacular breasts. Those could keep a man’s attention for *years*. I’m just sayin’. April 27 Where the hell is Scooter? I want some privacy with my woman, ya know. If he don’t get here soon, I’m callin’ Chuck on the brain phone. April 28 Today’s new thing - well, I don’t wanna be too explicit in here where anybody might get a look at it, but lemme just say that Marie’s lips are very soft on just about any body part you can think of, even through that little red scarf. April 29 Finally, Scooter’s sorry ass shows up to take the kids. And oh man, you can tell he don’t like the me and Marie thing too damn much at all. Marie said I was gettin’ way too much enjoyment outta that fact, but he deserves a little payback for attractin’ so many of the women. Couldn’t help but gloat that I wound up with the best one all to myself. Can’t really blame me for that. And I couldn’t help but gloat that Marie didn’t look like there was a trace of that old crush she had on Scooter left in her. Her eyes stayed on me most of the time, and she only smiled at me. Take that, One-Eye. The important thing is that by the end of the evening, Marie and I were on our own. We did some stuff, and some new stuff, but she surprised me by suggestin’ that she was gonna be ready for the full-on experience pretty soon and sayin’, all innocent, that maybe we should get some condoms ‘cause otherwise she didn’t have any ideas of how we could do it and still avoid her skin. I said, condoms it is - so we’re goin’ into town tomorrow for those and some other supplies. Scooter left a wad of cash, and I’m thinkin’ a truck, a camper, and all the condoms I can fit into both should be about right. No more time for writin’ - gotta get back to my woman. April 30 It’s almost embarrasin’ how in love with this girl I am. Do you know what happened when we were in town? This really old couple came up to us in the store and asked if we were newlyweds. Before I can tell ‘em to mind their own fuckin’ business, Marie pipes up with, ‘kind of’ and the old lady says she could tell we were in love, it’s written all over us. It shows? I never knew it was gonna show at all, let alone well enough for old people to see it. Christ. But it made Marie happy to hear that, so I guess it was worth it. In fact, it made her so happy that I think she was revising her estimate of a coupla more days until sex downward even as we were standin’ there in the store. Could be tonight, even. That’d be nice. If she’s really ready. You know, I don’t wanna rush things and fuck anythin’ up. Just if she’s really ready. God, I hope she’s ready soon. May 1 Marie and I made love last night. I’m not gonna spill the details here, but I’ll tell ya - life is good. Life is very good. We’re on the road, runnin’ for our lives, livin’ outta some little camper and headin’ for the edge of civilization again, but I can’t think of anythin’ more perfect. Don’t think Marie can either. She’s got a smile a mile wide and she’s wearin’ the bright yellow sweatshirt and jeans - she looks downright cheery in that. I like knowin’ I put that look on her, almost as much as I like knowin’ what she tastes like and what she feels like from the inside. Oh wait - I guess those are details. Well, then I’ll just say - yeah, it’s been a helluva good month. And I’m lookin’ forward to a lot more good things with Marie. |