Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

Three Phases: Opening Night, Performance Dates, Closing Night

Title: Three Phases: Opening Night, Performance Dates, and Closing Night

E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Poo.

Archive: WRFA, Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut - anyone else, please ask and I'll happily provide :)

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Summary: Logan and Marie run through the classic cycle of a performance piece and get some things worked out along the way.

Comments: This bunny has been nagging at me for a while, and it was one of those ones I just had to get out of my system. Thanks for bearing with me ;)

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I just gotta do this right, is all. If you figure in how much I've fucked up everything else, I'm definitely due to get one right for a change. I just gotta remember that it's Marie's big night and whatever I do, I can't ruin it for her. If she looks all uncomfortable or pissed off, I'll just go. I'll just turn around and go.

Yeah, right. Who'm I kiddin'? Just turn around and go after goin' for more than a year without seein' her or talkin' to her. Just turn around and go - sounds simple, but it ain't gonna be, if it comes to that. I hope it don't.

She's been up here in Boston for over a year and this is the first time she's said OK to me comin' up. 'Course, it's also the first time I asked, but accordin' to her little friend Jubes, she was pretty upset about the whole thing. You wanna talk about fuck-ups? I made a royal one with Marie. I wanted her so bad, you know, that I couldn't wait to be with her. We had one spectacular night together - we didn't really do the deed, but a lotta touchin' and other stuff - and then I freaked out. I just totally lost it. Brought home some cheap-lookin' barfly from my favorite waterin' hole and Marie found us.

I thought she'd yell but instead she cried. I tried to explain, to apologize, but she wouldn't have it. She wouldn't even talk to me at all. I didn't see her for a coupla days and then I saw her movin' stuff outta her room with that Cajun asshole that's always sniffin' around her. Things went from bad to worse when I jumped to conclusions and accused her of movin' in with him, of hoppin' right into his bed. Cajun kid looked like he wanted to deck me but good, but Marie just sniffled a little and said she could understand why I wouldn't wanna be with her if that's the kinda person I thought she was. She said she just wished I woulda had enough respect for her after everythin' we'd been through together to tell her outright, to tell her to her face, instead lettin' her find out like she did. Well, that hurt a helluva lot worse than anythin' the Cajun could throw at me. Then she goes and says that she got accepted into this art school in Boston and she wasn't gonna go even though she got a full scholarship 'cause she wanted to stick close to me, but that things were different now and that she'd always make sure Jubes had her address if I ever needed to get in touch with her for any reason. She broke down cryin' after gettin' all that out, and those turned out to be the last words I heard from her.

After I got over drinkin' and goin' through every danger room program and tryin' to get myself killed on missions, I got it together and made a plan. She said she'd be keepin' in touch with Jubes, so I started with her. To tell ya the truth, I never liked any of Marie's friends. They're all annoyin' little kids. But Jubes was my path to Marie, so I started makin' it a point to try to get on her good side. Coupla smuggled bottles of scotch and a few Cuban cigars pretty much did the trick, and soon, I had a steady stream of info on Marie - how she was doin' in school, if she was seein' anybody else, that kinda shit. After a while, I started pokin' at Jubes to ask Marie what she'd think 'bout me comin' up to see her, and when Jubes mentioned Marie's big student art show, I knew that was my chance.

And Marie said OK. She said OK, he can come if he wantsta. Those were her exact words to Jubes - I made her tell me *exactly* what Marie said. I spent an afternoon drivin' up, followed the directions Marie had passed along, and here I am.

I hadta get Jubes to help me out a little to get ready for this. I didn't know what the hell to wear to an art openin' and I didn't wanna go in there in jeans and flannel and embarrass Marie. Jubes helped me pick out black pants and a beige sweater thing to wear. I couldn't do a tie, and thank God, Jubes relented on that one. She picked out shoes for me too, and cologne. I thanked her even though I ain't gonna wear the cologne - too stinky. That kid helped me a lot. I owe her one.

But enough thinkin' 'bout everythin', enough thinkin'. It's time to go in.

Shit, I didn't think there'd be that many people here. Jubes said it was some kinda student thing for Marie and a coupla other kids in her class. And I can't find Marie anywhere. Can't even catch her scent. Maybe she chickened out. Maybe she wasn't really ready to see me. I wonder if she -

Oh God. Oh God, there she is. She looks different, really different. She grew up a little more, filled out a little more. She cut her hair - looks cute that way, just down to her shoulders - and she dyed out the white streak. You know, I wonder if she only ever kept that for me. She knew how much it fascinated me. I wonder if she didn't like havin' it, though. She looks drop dead gorgeous with or without it, I'll tell ya that. I dunno what color to call that dress - blue? purple? - she's got on but it's perfect for her. She never usedta wear anythin' but black back at the mansion. Colors look good on her.

And she looks good, happy. You can just tell when she's happy, and even if I don't get to talk to her or anythin' else tonight, I'm grateful to see her happy again insteada cryin'. Happy looks so much better on her than sad.

Oh, shit - she sees me. And she looks surprised. "Hey. I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"Well, uh, Jubes said you said it was OK, so I'm here." Yeah, that came out brilliant. Say somethin' that makes a little more sense here, asshole. "It's good to see ya. I missed ya."

Just a little smile and now she's lookin' at her feet. Well, what didya expect - take me, I'm yours Logan, everythin's forgiven? "Have you seen the exhibit yet?"

"Nah, I just got here."

"Let me show you around." That's promisin'. That's good, that's very good. She's gonna show me around. "These are mine, starting here."

Whoa. Just - whoa. I wasn't ready for all this. Six paintin's and there all about stuff that happened to her. I can tell that right off. That one right there - that's me, slumped in a heap on the train after Mags got to me. It's her, how she saw me as she was runnin' toward me and it's - whaddya call it? What Jubes said Marie said her stuff was and then she showed me a buncha other pictures of artists who painted the same way? Impressions. It's an impressionistic picture, but you can tell it's me and the lines and colors make you feel real tense lookin' at it.

Next one's almost all white, with a little bit of metal and color for my truck and the hitch - that's me, pickin' her up in the snow. God, what the hell does it say 'bout what she thinks of me that the two things that first come to mind are times when I failed her? I couldn't save her on the train and I almost left her on the roadside. Not that I blame her for thinkin' that way but, dammit, I was hopin' she'd remember some of the good times, the times it worked and I saved her.

Next one's still sucky. It's me stabbin' her, I can tell that a mile away, even if the two figures in it don't exactly look like people - it's a big white fuzzy blob, metal-color, then a big flesh-colored blob. Little bit of red for her blood on the white blob. And that one's tense too, makes ya riled up lookin' at it. Well, I guess I can see what she thinks of me, what she remembers 'bout us. It's all hangin' right there up on the wall for everybody to see.

Fourth one - I think this is when she came to the mansion 'cause it's the inside of some buildin' and it's all light and happy. Well, sure it is. I'm not in this one. I was unconscious, down in the medlab. Happy times for Marie. Shit.

Fifth one - I'm not in this one either, I don't think. I think it's her two roomies, Kitty and Jubes. Those kinda look like people and one's very yellow. Yeah, that's them. And that one's happy too, her meetin' them.

"This one's the best one, I think." Right, Marie. You know - Marie, love of your life, woman you ache for on a daily basis, woman you've got this one shot at makin' not hate you quite as much anymore. Pay attention, Logan. Christ, I gotta get a grip.

"Yeah. I don't know if you'll recognize it, but it's the statue." I did recognize it - all light and the dark blue night around her when she was tied up there. I don't think I'm in this one either - it was probably when she didn't think I'd be there to save her. Fuck. Fuck. "What do you think?"

"Um, they're amazin'." Which is true. They're take-your-breath-away great, moving, even to someone who don't know shit about art. People who study that kinda thing must drool over paintin's like these. "Uh, Marie? I'm sorry." She's not gonna say nothin' to that, I can tell, but that's also true, and if I don't get to say anythin' else to her tonight, I wanna make sure she hears me say that. I'm damn sorry, for everythin', but mostly for bein' the kinda guy who made her see me the way she painted me here. I didn't wanna be that kinda guy. I wanted to be the guy who loved and protected her. The truth, though, is that I just keep fuckin' up with her, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she sees that. Marie's definitely smart enough to see that. Shit, I never had a chance, did I? I shouldnta come here. I'm just bein' a selfish bastard. She's doin' fine, just fine. I'm just tryin' to get her back 'cause my life isn't anythin' without her. Her life without me is great. Look at her lookin' back at me. Even when she's all flustered and she don't know what to say, she looks beautiful, graceful. "You, ah, you were right that one is the best one."

"I don't know if you caught it, but you're in it - right there." Hmmph. Little brush-stroke of the metal color, looks like on the edge of the big blob that's the statue. "I remember that part really well - seeing just a flash of your claws in the middle of all that light and knowing you were fighting to save me. I really felt like I'd be OK, somehow, once I saw that. I knew you'd find a way."

Whoa. Whoa. That's somethin'. That's somethin' good to hear. Maybe I do have some kinda chance here. You know, I know this ain't the kinda thing that's apropos at an art openin', but I can't not do it. I can't not do it with her sayin' stuff like that and givin' me such a soft, warm smile all of a sudden. I gotta do it. "I'd give my life for you, Marie, and I'm just - I'm just completely lost without ya. I love you very much and if you don't love me, I understand, but livin' without ya for a year has been the worst kinda hell I've been through. I know it's my own fault, but I wantcha to know I'm sorry and - and that I really did always love you."

Yep, shouldnta done that 'cause now everybody's lookin' and now she's gettin' ready to cry. "Let's not talk about all that here."

"OK. OK. Sorry. Sorry."

"It's OK. What - what do you think about getting some coffee or something after the exhibit?"

"Yes. Yeah. Coffee. Coffee's good. I'll buy. Wherever you wanna go."

"OK." Another smile. And I think she's settlin' a little. Those tears are fadin' back some. "I'd better go mingle a little. Stick around and I'll find you in about a half hour?"

"Sure. Yeah. I'll be here. Right here." Coffee. We're gonna go have coffee. She's gonna talk to me. Oh, thank God. It's not all over, not yet.

"So it was really kind of an honor to be picked. And everyone seemed to like the paintings, so I guess it went OK." She's been lookin' down at that coffee cup and not at me the whole time. But at least she's here. At least she's talkin'.

"Thanks for lettin' me come." Smilin' Shruggin'. "And thanks for comin' out for coffee with me. I know things went real bad between us, Marie, but I wanna - I wanna fix that if I can. I meant what I said back at the thing."

"I missed you too, and I'd like for us to be friends. I'm sorry about what happened between us. I - I'm just not cut out for the romance thing. I really should've realized that. I'm sorry I made you feel trapped or overwhelmed or - or whatever it was. I - "

"Wait a second. You didn't make me feel or do anythin'. That was all my own fuck up. And what you said 'bout not bein' cut out for the romance thing - that's not right."

Lookin' at me now a little. Just glances. Wonder if she's tryin' to figure out if I'm tellin' the truth. "Oh, come on, the skin thing is a pretty big hint. God or whoever just didn't intend for me to have those things."

"That's not right." Oh, God, please don't let what I did be the cause of her thinkin' like this. I didn't think she'd take it that way. "Your skin don't mean anythin' 'bout that." Now she's definitely lookin' at me and she definitely don't believe I'm tellin' the truth. "What happened with us was all on me - I got freaked out, I messed up. It wasn't 'cause of anythin' 'bout you and especially not 'cause of your skin."

"I know you don't want to hurt my feelings." Back to lookin' at the coffee. Great. If I'd have known she was thinkin' this for a whole year, I woulda got my head outta my ass and hightailed it to Boston right away. Fuck. "Let's - let's just talk about something else, OK? How has everything been with you?"

"Shitty. Listen, Marie, I loved the hell outta you, loved you more than anythin', more than my own life. Your skin never crossed my mind, not once. I - "

"You obviously wanted someone you could touch, Logan." Whoa. Sharp there.

"I know it looked that way, but I swear on everythin' good in my life -" Which would be, you know, just basically you. " - it had nothin' to do with that. I swear it. I got freaked out. I felt all this big stuff, all these big, deep emotions takin' me over and as much as I wanted it I was scared of it too 'cause it wasn't what I knew. Before you, there wasn't much good in my life period, and then - boom - I got all this good stuff comin' from you. It ain't an excuse for what I did, not one bit, but - but don't take it as some judgment on you, Marie, please."

"Can we talk about something else? I - I don't want to talk about this."

"Nah, I think ya do. I think you wanna bitch me out and I think you should. I sure as hell deserve it." I mean that. She's tryin' to be all nice and 'it was me' but she's pissed too. Come on, darlin', let me have it.

"You don't. Look, I am mad and hurt, OK? But yelling at you isn't going to help. I miss you, Logan and I want us to be friends again."

OK, time to get down to brass tacks. "I want that too. And I'll give ya whatever ya want, Marie, I'll do whatever you say. But I want more than that too. I can't stop lovin' you and I want you to be with me, like we were before. I want that bad, I want that a lot. But if you don't, I get that and I'll be happy to have you in my life however you wanna be in it. There. There it is."

OK, now I really wish she'd say somethin' insteada just leanin' back in her chair like that. I wish I had some small clue whether I just pissed her off permanently or if that helped at all. "So, what? You - you want to do what now? Date me or something? I don't want to do that. I don't want to have hopes that you and I will be - be together one day while you're satisfying your conscience that you're trying to be with me and still - still being with other women too. I don't want that."

"No other women. Just you."

"Yeah, if you wanna. Datin'. I love you, Marie."

I dunno how that happens - her eyes get so soft all of a sudden and she looks like she might kiss ya. 'Course, given the state of our conversation, that's probably just wishful thinkin' on my part. "OK. If you'd like to date, OK. Let's just see how it goes."

Whew. "Good. Datin'. Uh, when? Can we do somethin' tomorrow? Do you have school?"

"No, it's Saturday. I don't have any classes. But Logan - don't you have to be back in Westchester? The team - "

"They can wait. If somethin' comes up, they know where I am. I just - tomorrow, OK? I'll take you for coffee again tomorrow." It worked out good this time. When your luck is in, go with it. And I think I can make it through the day if I know I'm seein' her again.

"OK. I can - I'd, um, offer for you to stay with me, but I just have a little studio apartment by the T. It's really loud and - well, I can suggest some places if you want to stay over. Maybe - maybe we can do something in the morning. We can go for breakfast, and then I'll show you around the city, OK? How's that?"

"Amazin'." A smile. I even got a smile.

"Come on, then. Let's find a place for you to stay. It's getting late." Standin' up and gettin' ready to go. I guess we hadta go sometime, but I don't wanna do anythin' that gets me any closer to the time when I gotta part from her. But tomorrow - tomorrow I'll see her again. There's hope. There's a chance. I got an openin'.

"OK, darlin', let's go."

"So they just painted a big red line all over the city?"

"Kind of. It's actually a neat idea, I think. I mean, all you have to do is follow it and it takes you past all the historic sights - the commons, haymarket, the old state house. It makes historical sightseeing easy, as long as you don't mind a bit of a walk." Now normally, I couldn't give two shits 'bout historical sightseein', but Marie's havin' such a good time with it that I gotta love it. Maybe some of those happy feelin's will be attributed to bein' with me. Marie havin' a good time while I'm along for the ride - that's gotta help, right?

"Actually, we should be coming up on the haymarket in just a second. They have restaurants there and I thought maybe we could stop for lunch. If - if you'd like."

"I'd very much like." She's been careful, all the way through. Very careful. Askin' what I wanna do, givin' me the option to say no, all that kinda thing. But she's been with me since breakfast and she wantsta have lunch now. She coulda just as easily ditched me and said she had somethin' to do, but she didn't. She's not sayin' no. She's bein' careful, but I kinda think she wantsta spend some time with me, check me out, see what's what. And amazingly enough, I think I've been doin' OK so far. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Oh, there's lots of choices. What do you feel like?"

"You know me, darlin', I ain't a picky eater. What's your favorite?" Yeah, that was right. That was the right answer, in the right tone. She smiled.

"Hmmm. How about pizza? There's a great pizza and beer place here. What do you think?"

"Sounds good." And if they don't have any Molson's, I'll just grin and bear it. "And thanks for the lunch invite, Marie. And the tour. I don't think I've ever been around any city I've been in this much."

"I really love it here, you know? The water, the city and all the little towns around it, the history and culture - I just really like everything about Boston. It felt like the right move, coming here."

I hope this doesn't mess anythin' up, but I kinda feel like I should say somethin' 'bout this before too much longer. "You know, I remember you sayin' you didn't wanna come to this school 'cause you wanted to stick close to me. You know, before. But if you'd have said you wanted to go, I woulda gone with ya. It's - it's your time, Marie, your life, and I wantcha to have everythin' you want out of it."

Oh-oh. That's the first frown I've seen on her today. Shouldnta pushed my luck. "That's a nice thing to say, but I'm sure you would've wanted to stay with the team. And, um, Jean. I couldn't ask you to leave. That would've been selfish."

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. "Marie, I wouldn't really care 'bout leavin' the team. I mean, yeah, I like fightin' and stuff, and Chuck pays good, but if I hadta pick, you'd win every time. And Jean - she's not - she's just not a factor. She's gettin' married to Scooter."

More frowns. Dammit, dammit. "I'm sorry, you know, that things didn't work out with you and Jean. I mean, I'm obviously not *that* sorry because if things had gone differently, I wouldn't have had the chance to be with you at all, but - "

"Hey." I gotta stop her here, and I mean stop her. These other damn people on the sidewalk can go around us. This is important. "I know I flirted with her and said some things. But it was never about Jean, not at all. It's always been all about you for me. It wasn't Jean that I risked my life for. It wasn't Jean that I gave the tags to."

"It was her that you gave your heart to. She told me. She told me what you said to her, Logan." Fuck. Fuck, I didn't think Jeannie would do that. "She was trying to warn me off of getting involved with you, trying to stop me from getting hurt. I didn't listen, but now - well, now I kind of think I should've listened to Jean. I'm not - I don't really know anything about all that kind of thing, about love. I'm just a kid, what do I know? I don't blame you, Logan, but - but don't try to tell me she's not a factor when the only reason you're not with her right now is Scott."

"That's not how it is." Fidgetin'. Lookin' at her shoes. Getting' ready to bolt or to tell me to head off, I can tell. Gotta stop that. "I know I said that thing to her, but it was just - she caught me off guard, when I first regained consciousness, and it just came out. It didn't mean anythin'. It was just words. Marie, I want you to have - to have everythin' in me. My heart, my blood, my flesh and bone. That's how it really is." God, if Marie boots me 'cause of this, I'm gonna kill Jeannie. I swear, I -

"Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me just because now you've decided for some reason that you want me back. Logan, if you ever cared about me at all - *at all* - don't lie about how things are. Just - just leave, OK? Just leave and walk away. That would be easier on me than - than having to figure out later that you lied. It would be easier on both of us."

"No lies. No lies, Marie, and the last thing I'd wanna do is walk away from you. I know you don't have a lotta reason to believe me after everythin' I've done. But please, try to remember some of the good things I've done, some of the good stuff between us. It's gonna be just good stuff from here on out, I promise. I'm gonna make sure it's that way."

Here it is, this is it. She's either gonna say OK, I'll try or she's gonna tell me no. This is it, I can tell by the look on her face that it's now. "I don't believe that." Shit. Shit! "It's not going to be all good from here on out. I don't know a lot about love, but I do know that love doesn't work that way. If - if this is ever going to work between us, I think we have to be realistic about things. I think we have to be honest about things."

"You're right. You're right. But I'm gonna try hard to make it all good, Marie. I'll make sure that I never hurt you like I did before. I can do that. I can promise that. I messed up. I messed up and lost you and I know how much that hurts and I never, ever wanna go through that again. If you think you can give it a try, I can promise that I'll do my best never to mess up in any way ever again."

"Logan" I know what I must look like, sound like - I must look pretty damn desperate. But I am. I am. I don't care what it looks like and the only thing that matters to me now is hangin' on to her. Fuck pride. Fuck playin' games. All I want is her. I'll do whatever I hafta to let her know how bad I want her. "I don't know."

"OK. OK. Let's just - how 'bout just doin' what you said. We'll date, you know, like normal people, and we'll see how it goes. You can take your time and see - you can see that I'm bein' honest and that I mean it. You can take your time and see for yourself. How 'bout that?"

"OK. We can do that. But, Logan - I can't promise. I can't promise it'll all work out like you want it to. I just - I just don't know."

"That's fine. I understand. Thanks - thank you for givin' it a try." Whew. There. Hard part's over, and I think it was OK. I think that turned out reasonably OK. Whew. Thank God.

Date number five. Fifth date, one every Saturday. Goin' good so far. Just gotta be sure that things keep goin' good. "I'm almost ready. Really."

"Take your time." I sure as hell don't mind waitin' and watchin' as she hustles around this little apartment. It's almost intimate, in a way.

"My class ran late or I'd have been on time. Um, have you seen an earring that looks like this one?" Earrings lead to earlobes lead to earlobe sucking leads to visions of Marie sighing and moaning and then all I can see is Marie naked.

"Darn. It's around here somewhere, and these match this sweater perfectly, so I'd really like to wear them." You know, showin' me your backside while you're bendin' over lookin' under the bed ain't helpin' to get rid of those naked visions of you, darlin'. Not that I mind much. "Aha! There it is!" Ah, no more backside. Oh well, time to focus on the date anyhow. Gotta make Marie happy. Gotta make her trust me and feel good about herself. Gotta not push. Gotta make it a perfect night for her. "I know it's a little silly, but I just had these earrings in mind."

"They look real nice on ya."

"Thanks." Smilin'. Sparkly eyes. That's good, those're good signs. So far so good. But wait a second - now her eyebrows are crinklin'. "You don't have to be nervous, you know."

"Nervous?" Did I miss somethin'?

"You seem a little nervous, kind of like you're always trying to read me, always trying to give the right response or something. You don't have to be nervous. I like - I like dating you, being with you. You can just relax a little and be yourself."

"I just wanna make sure - " Shit, what am I gonna say here? I just wanna make sure you like me and that I get another chance with you? I just wanna make sure that none of my natural assholeness shows through? "I just wanna make sure you're havin' a good time, feelin' OK 'bout things between us. I guess I am tryin' to read you and give the right response. I know I got a chance here and I guess I don't wanna mess it up."

"Logan - " Hello. This is as close as she's ever gotten to me. She's right in fronta me, just an inch or two away. " - I'm really touched that you'd go to so much effort for me, I am. But - but I've been doing some thinking and I think we just have to go forward from here, you know? You don't have to try to make up for things. You don't have to worry that you'll do something wrong all the time. I think we just have to try to go forward from here."

"But I do wanna make up for things and I do wanna give you - give you whatever you need to be able to go forward from here. I want it to feel OK to you." Whoa. That came out reasonably coherent. Kind of a surprise given how close she is to me and how much her scent always scrambled my ability for rational thought.

"Well, what I need is for you to - hmph." Here comes somethin' - somethin' serious. I can tell. And she smells so good that I don't think it can be a bad serious thing. "I was going to say that what I needed was for you to just be yourself, but now that I think about it, I don't think that's quite true. I need you to reassure me a little bit. Um, or a lot. I need you to reassure me that it's me you want and that you want to do this, and I need more than just words from you because I had those before and it turned out badly. I guess I need you to go to a little trouble for me, to try so hard with me some of the time because it's reassuring to me that you do want to try again with me. But I don't want you to always feel like you have to be on your toes, like you have to perform with me. I need you to let me know that you wanting to make me happy is part of the real you, the everyday you too, not just the trying-really-hard-you. Did, um, that make any sense?"

"Yeah." Actually, she's always been good at that, makin' sense outta things I mess all up. "I know what you mean exactly. How about this? I'll try to relax a little. And I'll try to give you lotsa reassurance with words and with actions too. If you need more, or somethin' in specific, can you let me know?" Noddin'. "OK." And I think it's OK to touch her, to just hug her a little. God, I missed that. The real me definitely wantsta do that.

"What do you need from me?" Wouldya look at that, she really means that. Well, I'm not a total bastard. I know I don't have any right to be askin' a damn thing from her.

"Honest to God, Marie, all I want is to have a chance with you. You gave me that by agreein' to try again. That's all I really need." She looked like she was gonna argue there for a second, but she's not.

"OK. You know, I think we missed the movie. Want to rent one and stay in, instead?"

Oh yeah. Hell, yeah. That means we'll be sittin' on her bed together. Me. Marie. Bed. Together. Hell, yeah. "Sure, darlin'."

Oof. Man, it's gonna be a long night. Why'd that dumbass Sabretooth get it into his pea-brain to pick a fight the day before I got a big date with Marie? Don't he realize that he's puttin' a dent in my love life? Asshole.

"Hey, I was beginning to get a little worried. You're late."

"Yeah. Sorry, darlin'. Drive up took a while." With a hacked-up, burned-up back, ya just don't make good time. I'm gonna kick that furball in the nuts the next time I see him, I swear. "But I'm ready. I think we'll still make the symphony." She's been wantin' to do this for weeks, talkin' 'bout it all the time. I can't let her down. Hell, she even kissed me for gettin' the tickets. Even if it's gonna be hours of painful sittin', I can't take this away from Marie.

"Oh yeah, just fine. Let's get goin'." Gotta try to curb that grimace, that's a dead giveaway that I'm hurtin'.

"Logan, wait. Are you - you're not OK, are you? Something's wrong." Damn perceptive woman. "I - I smell blood." And I keep forgettin' that she has a little bit of my senses to help her out.

"It's just a scrape. Had another go-round with Sabretooth. I'm fine, though. Come on, we gotta - "

"Take off your coat. Let me see."

"Aw, Marie, it's nothin', really, and we're gonna be late. I know you've been dyin' to go see this and - "

"And I really want to see where you're hurt. Don't bullshit me, Logan. If you're not healed yet, it's more than just a scrape. Let me see."

"Let me see, sugar." It ain't that I mind her undressin' me a little, but as soon as she sees it, she's gonna freak out. "Oh, Logan, there's - there's blood all over your shirt. Take it off."

"But, Marie, the symphony - we're gonna be late, and I'll heal just fine."

Oh-oh. She knows I can't say no when those big brown eyes are lookin' into mine. "Let me." All right, darlin', but you're gonna flip out. You always have when I'm hurtin'. You know, Marie's really the only person to ever do that. Most people, even Jeannie, a doctor, just kinda shrug and say 'he'll heal.' Marie's the only one who ever worried 'bout what happens until I heal. "Oh, Logan! You're burned!"

"Yeah, and hacked up a little besides. Burns take a long time to heal, but these'll be just fine in a day or so, really. I - " Oh darlin', are those big tears in your eyes for me? Don't cry baby. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can't believe they let you out of the mansion like this. God, it must've hurt so much to sit in a car and drive up here. Why didn't you just call me and say you couldn't come?"

"'Cause I could come. It's fine. I know how much you were lookin' forward to this, baby."

"Take your shirt off. Take your pants off. Shoes too." Um, not that that doesn't sound good, but - "Let me take care of you."

"It can wait. Come on, take those things off and lie down on the bed, on your stomach. Let me take care of you." I can't say no to that more than once. I really can't. Especially not with those little gloved hands on me.

We've been pretty chaste. I didn't wanna make any mistakes with her, you know? And I'm not sure how much I can rein myself in if we really get goin'. Just a few hugs, a few kisses. Sometimes she takes my arm. I love that, that she can do that, that she feels comfortable enough with me to let me close at all. I know how big of a deal it is to her.

"There." But now when I'm in her bed, a bed that smells like her all over, with her touchin' me so gentle, I dunno if I can be anythin' but on fire for her. "Stay still, Logan, I'm going to clean it a little. This will hurt."

Nah. Ain't gonna hurt at all. If there's one thing I learned over the years, it's that physical pain ain't as bad as emotional pain. I'd rather take a hundred punches in the ring than see the look on Marie's face when she found me with that woman. In fact, physical pain can be an excellent distraction from emotional pain. There's a reason why fightin's my occupation.

"Mmm-hmm." So gentle I didn't even feel it, not really. Marie - she's always careful with me. I wish I'd always been careful with her. We wouldn't be goin' through all this now if I had been.

"I've got some neosporin. Hang on." I don't need it, but I wouldn't mind her puttin' it on me. "Tell me if I hurt you."

"You never hurt me baby." God, ain't that the truth. And I - oh! Oh yes, it was. It was a kiss. On the back of my head. I gotta turn a little to see her. How beautiful.

"I never will, you know." Beautiful and right now I can almost see right through her eyes all the way down to her soul. I think she's finally getting ready to tell me the truth. She's finally ready to let whatever's in there 'bout us all out. "I know that you might think I could. I know that if you love me a lot, you might be worried that I'll just turn around and hurt you. You might think that it would be easier to hurt me first to make sure I don't. But the truth is, Logan, that I don't think I could stop loving you even if I tried and that I'll never do anything to betray your trust in me. Not a lot of people have been good to you, I know. But I will be. I will always be loving with you. And I've done a lot of thinking about it, about us. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I needed, but I finally realized that that's not the whole story. What happened, happened because of the both of us. It happened because neither one of us really knew what was actually going on inside the other person. But, I think we can figure all that out together. If you think you can trust me, if you think you can not hurt me any more, I think I'm ready to open up to you again. If you think you can do it, I can do it too."

That - that just blows me away. I don't even have words for that. She saw right through me, right through all of me. God, how can she see all that and still love me? How can she still feel that way after everythin' that I've done? That's the truth of what happened, the actual truth of it all, right there. I can feel that, but her feelin' like that as part of it is almost too good to believe.

"Rest, OK? Just get some rest now. You'll heal better if you rest."

"Lie down with me." That's the first time I've really asked her for anythin' and maybe - maybe it's a test, maybe it's a test to see if she really meant it, if she could -

"OK. Let me change into something more comfortable, though. I'll be right there." Another kiss against my head, over my hair. And a caress. God, she does mean it. She's meant it all along, all the way through. Why couldn't I see that before? "Are you OK? Can I get you anything?"

"No, just - just lay here with me." She is, she's doin' that and she's puttin' her hand on my arm besides.

"Bed and you - that's a lot more fun than some stuffy old symphony anyway. I always did like curling up with you in bed."

"I can do that. I mean, I can do what you said. I think I can."

"I think so too." She looks so peaceful right now, I hafta believe that she really does wanna try again with me. It feels right. It just feels right now, all of a sudden. It doesn't feel awkward or tense or anything but bone-deep right. You know, the next time I see Sabretooth, I'm gonna shake his hand before I kick his ass. I owe him one.

"This is it. Last chance to change your mind."

"Nah. I like it, you like it, and we're gonna be here a while for you to do that Ph.D. thing. Let's do it." Who knew I'd ever be a property owner? But it does make sense. I mean, she got accepted at her school to do the graduate study thing and got a full ride plus some money besides. It's gonna take about another four years, so money-wise, we'd be better off buyin' than rentin'. Plus, it's just a little three-bedroom house in Medford, nothin' major.

"OK." There she goes, signin' the papers. I still get a little thrill outta seein' her sign my last name beside hers. Sure, it's just one I picked outta the thin air 'cause who the hell knows what my real last name is, but it's both of ours now.

I proposed three times before she said yes - well, she said yes, the first time, but it was 'I want to marry you but I don't think we're ready yet.' The second time was 'I still want to marry you but I want to get through finals first.' The third time was on Christmas, and I was ready for another 'yes, but' but all she said was 'OK. Wanna go to Vegas?' We spent New Year's there and came back man and wife. Heh. Helluva honeymoon, I'll tell ya that. We hadn't had sex, actual sex up until then and it was really kinda special to be doin' it for the first time on our wedding night. 'Course, me bein' me, once we did that I couldn't get enough and now Marie keeps sayin' that one of these days we'll hafta go back to Vegas and actually see the town. She says it with a big smile on her face every time, so I don't think she's actually too upset.

"Your turn." I got this down, no sweat. Voila. We're homeowners.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Laughlin. Here are the keys to your new home."

"Thanks." And stop checkin' out my wife, you slimy real estate sellin' bastard. "See ya." A smart man would take that hint, and this one's slimy, but he ain't stupid.

"Uh, right then. Goodbye." Heh. Don't let my front door hit yer ass on the way out.

"The first thing we should do is paint. I have a lot of ideas for the living room. We can make this place look really great." Look at her - all cute and excited 'bout fixin' up our little house. "I know it's kind of egotistical, but what would you think about hanging up some of my paintings around the house? Maybe the ones from the show you came to. I think that would be a nice touch, don't you?"

"Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but those aren't my favorites of yours."

I don't think she did take it the wrong way - she looks curious, not pissed. "Why not? Don't you like the style? Or - or the composition? Those are - those are the ones that have the most sentimental value to me. Would you mind having just one?"

"Aw, we can put 'em all up if you like, darlin'. Just forget I said anythin'." She's not pissed, but she really don't understand how hard it is for me to look at those. All my failings on display. To her, they're just her paintin's, nothin' more.

"No, it's - it's *our* house, yours and mine, so we both need to like what's in it. I just - I guess I thought you felt the same way about those as I did. I kind of thought that's why you, you know, decided to date me and try again with me, because you could see how much I still loved you in those paintings."

Whoa, now I know I missed somethin'. "I thought those were - I thought you were showin' how disappointed in me ya were, how many times I kept lettin' ya down." She's definitely surprised so I know I got it wrong, but, um, I don't have a damn idea what the right idea would be.

"Is that what you saw in them?" Eyes all soft and comin' over to touch me. I can't do anythin' but nod right now. And maybe that's best. I've managed to say all the wrong things in the past few minutes. "Oh, Logan, why didn't you say something? That wasn't what I was trying for at all." Lookin' into my eyes now, real straight, real solid. It's what she does when she wantsta be sure I'm payin' attention and I'm sure as hell payin' attention now. "The first one was you on the train, and it was supposed to show how worried I was for you, how upset and panicky I was that you'd been hurt because of me, how I never wanted that to happen. I tried to give the feeling of fear and regret in that one. I tried to convey how horrible I felt that I'd gotten you hurt when you were only trying to help me. The second one was you picking me up, you saving my life the first time. The third was you saving my life the second time, touching me to save my life after your nightmare. That one was supposed to be intense, to show how big of a sacrifice you made for me and to show how intense it was to feel you flooding into me, into my head."

"I thought you painted those 'cause it was when I hurt you. I almost left ya on the road and I almost killed ya with the claws and I couldn't stop Magneto from gettin' ya on the train."

Holdin' me close now, layin' a little kiss over my heart. That gesture gets to me every time. "That's not what I remember about those times. I remember how amazing you were and how deeply you touched me when you did those things."

"You saw the statue painting, right? That one was the glimpse of your claws that I saw that gave me hope. That one was you saving my life the third time, and the hardest time. We both almost died. You were willing to fight and to give your life for mine. That's the most important painting, that's the most meaningful one for me."

"Yeah." All choked up. Can't hardly get one word out. And now she's strokin' my back, rockin' me a little. God, she feels so soft.

"The one next to that one was what you gave me - a place to stay, a safe place." Just a whisper. I can tell she's feelin' kinda emotional too.

"That was the one with Jubilee in it, right?" Noddin' her little head against my body. "And the last one, the one that was fourth - that was the mansion, right?" Shakin' her head no.

"That was the bar where we met, in Laughlin City." Huh? Not that I'm not enjoyin' holdin' her, but - huh? I gotta look at her to try to figure that one out.

"But it was all bright and it looked happy and everythin'. That was just a dingy old place, a shithole."

"But I found you there. That made it the best place. That made it a happy place." OK, I just gotta hold her as tight as I can when she says stuff like that. I just gotta. "That's what I meant with them, Logan. They were - they were supposed to be kind of a tribute, kind of a series all about how great you've been to me. I thought you saw that. I - I didn't mean for you to think that it was all about how you did things wrong or something, I didn't mean that at all."

"I shoulda seen that." I shoulda caught that when she explained the statue paintin'. I shoulda, but I was sure she hated me. And that's how I saw myself. I hated myself for all the times I let her down. "Thanks for tellin' me that. I'd really like to hang the paintin's in our house, then. I'd like that a lot, darlin'."

"Positive. That'll make our house perfect. Well, almost perfect. It's still missin' one thing." And I really need that one thing with her right now.

"I think we should, you know, christen the house first before we do anythin' else." I confused her there for a second, but now she's got it.

"You know, I have a scarf and some tights in my bag." Keeps 'em with her, in case of sex-drive-emergency, ever since that one time both of us just 'bout exploded 'cause we couldn't really do it in the symphony parking lot. Smart girl, my Marie. "And I really like that idea. In fact, I think that's the most important part of this whole closing thing. I think that would make it nice and official."

"Me too. C'mere, darlin'." I know I'm lucky. I know I'm damn lucky to have her, to have gotten a second shot with her at any kinda relationship, let alone marriage and a little yellow house in New England fulla paintin's of how great she thinks I am. And I'm gonna make sure to show her I know how lucky I am. Things coulda worked out totally different, had a totally different ending, and I won't forget that. But for now, I'm gonna just enjoy our closin', enjoy this endin' with Marie. After all, it's as close to a perfect endin' as my life gets.