Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

Trading Spaces: New York, Greymalkin Lane

Title: Trading Spaces: New York, Greymalkin Lane

E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Darn.

Archive: WRFA, Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut - anyone else, please ask and I'll happily provide :)

Feedback: Please? Pretty please? Good, bad, and ugly welcome.

Summary: The Trading Spaces show visits our favorite X-Mansion.

Comments: This fic is based on the Learning Channel show Trading Spaces. The website for the show can be found here - http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/tradingspaces.html - but the basic premise is that two neighbors, usually married couples, have 48 hours and $1000 to completely redecorate a room in each others' houses. They get the assistance of a professional interior designer (I've picked Frank, an opinionated and outspoken balding middle aged man, and Laurie, a southern sorority-girl-type chick who's terminally perky and always manages to go overbudget on these projects - she comes across as kind of a ditz but she has great design ideas! Both of their biographies are on the Trading Spaces site somewhere.) and sometimes a professional carpenter to build things, but the couples do most of the work themselves. The show's host is Paige - a fairly perky lady herself ;) I've caught this show occasionally and have become pretty hooked on it, but what really prompted this fic was a super-fast, long-toothed bunny from Tiffany asking the X-crew to go on the show. This is just a foofy little ficlet, and I hope Tiffany likes it ;)

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Paige: Welcome to today's episode of Trading Spaces. Today we're at Xavier's School for the Gifted on Greymalkin Lane. Two sets of roommates and neighbors, living at opposite ends of the mansion, are trading spaces. First, let's meet the girls - Rogue, Jubilee, and Kitty.

[Shot of a pink, foofy, overly-decorated girls' room with three bunk beds - just about the only things that aren't completely pink.]

Rogue: I'm really looking forward to this project. I owe Logan my life, and redecorating the room he shares with Hank is one small way to pay him back.

Jubilee: Dude, I say we vacuum the place for hairballs first. Those are the two hairiest guys in the mansion, and I don't want to run into some ugly furball while we're redecorating.

Kitty: I wish we could've done Scott and Jean's room.

Jubilee: Yeah, you'd have 'accidentally' gotten rid of all her stuff. Heh!

Paige: And now to the guys, Logan and Hank.

[Shot of very messy room. Camera zooms in briefly on a blue hairball on the floor. Underwear is flung over the bedpost and dresser. The two beds in the room look like they haven't been made in months and towels are all over what we can see of the bathroom floor.]

Logan: There's worse people to share a room with than Hank. Hell, he's hardly ever here. I wouldn't mind somebody comin' in and cleanin' up though. We ain't neat freaks.

Paige: Well, as you know, Logan, the concept of the show is that you redecorate the girls' room and they redo yours.

Logan: Redecorate? Shit, nobody told me that.

Hank: Oh yes, that is the premise of the show. In a mere forty-eight hours, we trade rooms, trade 'spaces' as it were, and redecorate the others' room on a one thousand dollar budget. I have cleared my entire weekend schedule. I am quite looking forward to it.

Paige: That's the spirit, Hank!

[Logan scowls and chomps on a cigar.]

Hank: Pray tell, what decorator will we be working with?

Paige: You've got Frank and the girls have Laurie - time to get started!

[Shot of Logan and Hank standing in the girls' room. Hank looks excited; Logan looks pissed and is still chomping on the cigar. Frank is with them, assessing the room.]

Frank: My god! Somebody covered this room in pepto bismol! [Logan chuckles despite himself.] Well, what can you expect when you get three girls together. We've got our work cut out for us, men. First, we're going to paint. Good God, let's get rid of the pink color before I'm ill. What do you think - I think a nice salmon or even a pastel green would be feminine yet not obnoxious.

Hank: I concur. I quite like the pastel green idea. I know green is one of Rogue's favorite colors.

[Logan casts Hank a sideways look.]

Frank: Green it is, then! And we've got to do something about this configuration. These metal bunk beds are just blah! And why have one off to the side? Let's put all three beds along that wall and -

Logan: Hold up. That one off to the side is Rogue's bed. She likes havin' a little space.

Frank: Hmm. Well, all right then. Perhaps what we need to do is make an individual space for each girl. Teenage girls do like to have their own space, Logan's right. So, let's do that. And let's see - we'll need to build a few things - maybe a window seat, definitely a bookcase/nightstand for each girl.....

Logan: I'll do that. I'll do the buildin'. It's manly.

Frank: Well, aren't you butch!

Hank: I would not mind painting, if you would like to begin there.

Frank: Excellent! I'm off to hunt up some accessories. Logan, I'll show you to the wood and tools.

[Logan grunts, satisfied with the division of labor.]

[Back in the guys' room, Laurie and the girls are looking things over.]

Laurie: Well, this is a pig sty! Most of our contestants clean before we come.

Jubilee: These guys don't know the meaning of the word 'clean.'

Rogue: Oh, I'll clean it up. Come on guys, what should we do with the room?

Laurie: Well, Rogue, I understand that you're quite the artist. I was hoping to get you to do something special for the walls. I was thinking maybe a nice dark brown or navy blue or pewter for the background color, but maybe you could stencil something?

Rogue: Sounds good. And I like the pewter idea - I think Logan would like that and Hank wouldn't mind.

Kitty: They've already kind of divided up the room in half - should we keep it like that?

Laurie: I think we can each give them their own space, but the room really needs to tie together. It needs some fabric - those plastic blinds have to go - and it needs some furniture. And there are absolutely *no* accessories in here - we have to fix that!

Jubilee: Dude, just give Hank a test tube and give Logan a beer bottle. Those are about the only accessories they need.

[Laurie huffs, ignores her, and heads off to get started.]

[In the girls' room, Hank and Frank are painting the walls, finishing up.]

Frank: I think this turned out quite nice. Much better than the pepto bismol look.

Hank: Indeed. You know, I was thinking that perhaps we could include some yellow in Jubliee's accessories. It is her signature color.

Frank: Green is Rogue's color, Yellow is Jubilee's, what's Kitty's?

Hank: Hmm. I do not know. Perhaps we could ask her.

[Logan enters, toting a small, square night stand. It has shelves, and an intricately carved design on the front plate.]

Logan: Where do ya want 'em?

Frank: You've finished all three? You did that carving on all three and finished making them already?

Logan (smirking): Yep. Had a couple of my own tools. [He flashes Hank a grin, and Hank realizes that Logan must've done the carving with his claws. Hank rolls his eyes a bit.] So where do ya want 'em?

Frank: Let's leave them out in the hall - why don't we paint one yellow, one green, and one whatever Kitty's favorite color is. Logan - why don't you go over and ask her? I know fraternizing with the other team is frowned upon, but we simply must know!

[In the guys' room. Laurie is supervising as Rogue begins stenciling a border along the top of the wall on Logan's half of the room. The girls have painted the walls in a medium pewter and the ceiling in a slightly lighter shade. Rogue is stenciling in red paint.]

Laurie: So what have you decided on for the stencil?

Rogue: Japanese characters for Logan's half in red, scientific and math symbols in blue on Hank's half.

Laurie: Do you think that will look OK? What about using one color on the whole thing?

Rogue: Logan, uh, likes red and Hank likes blue. I think - I think it'll look OK. It'll be subtle, I promise.

Laurie: Well, it's up to you. Jubilee - how's that bookcase coming?

Jubilee: I think I've got it all planned out. I'm ready for the saws and the sanders and the power tools!

[Rogue and Kitty share a frightened look at the thought of Jubes with power tools. Obliviously, Laurie is excited by Jubes' enthusiasm.]

Laurie: Great! Let's go to the garage!

[Kitty finishes cleaning up the bathroom while Rogue paints. A few moments later, Logan knocks.]

Logan (looking down at the floor as he stands in the doorway): Uh, I'm not supposedta look at what you're doin', but Frank needsta know what Kitty's favorite color is.

Kitty (excited): Pink!

Logan: Oh, christ.......

Rogue (shyly, trying to be casual): Um, mine's green, if - if you were wondering.

Logan: Yeah, I know that, kid. I, uh, I gotta get back.

[Rogue frowns a bit and keeps on painting. Kitty emerges from the bathroom a few moments after Logan leaves.]

Kitty: Girl, he's totally into you.

Rogue: I don't know, Kitty. I mean, he's only had eyes for Jean since he's been here. I'm just some stupid kid that keeps getting into life-endangering trouble to him.

Kitty: Well, you're eighteen now, so you're legally an adult, chica, not a kid. Come on, I totally think he digs you!

Rogue: Can we just drop it? I've got a lot of painting to do.

[Back at the girls' room. Logan is reporting in.]

Logan: I hate to hafta tell ya this, but she said pink.

Frank (clutching at his heart and reeling backwards): Pink?! Anything but that!

Hank: Well, if it's her favorite color......

Frank: Oh, all right, but I swear on my life, it's not going to be pepto bismol pink - no, no, no! It's going to be a deep, lively fuschia! Yes, that's it!

Hank: That sounds fine. Would you like for me to commence the painting of the night stands after I finish here?

Frank: If you're volunteering, sure. Logan, why don't you help me make some blueprints for the window seat?

Logan: Look, I didn't really wanna do all this and -

Frank: Or you could help me put up the fabrics and accessories!

Logan (resigned): Yeah, yeah, blueprints. Window seat.

[In the guys' room, Rogue is finishing up her stencils. Kitty had finished cleaning the bathroom, and looks very happy to be done. Laurie returns without Jubilee.]

Laurie: OK, it's going to take Jubilee a while to build Hank's bookcase and get it sanded and stained. That's her homework for tonight. How are you two coming along?

Kitty: We're almost done. Although I still don't understand why we had to clean their bathroom.

Laurie: It was so disgusting that I just couldn't think with it that way - thanks, Kitty!

Kitty (trading a look with Rogue at Laurie's unrelenting perkiness): Um, you're welcome. What do we have for homework tonight?

Laurie: Well, we'll have the major things finished today and we can begin accessorizing. I'm thinking maybe some colorful drapes, some nice blinds and let's do something with each of the beds - pillows, comforters, bedskirts.

Rogue: I don't think Logan would like a bedskirt.

Laurie: Sure he would! Everyone loves bedskirts! [Kitty and Rogue exchange another look.] That's your homework - come up with some accessorization ideas, and help Jubilee with the bookcase.

Rogue: Sounds good. (Hinting) See you tomorrow, then Laurie.

Kitty (catching on): Yeah, bye now!

Laurie (clueless): You girls are great! Bye!

Kitty: I second your 'whew' and raise you a 'thank God.' (Suddenly getting a mischevious look about her) You know, you could take a little peek at Logan's things.

Rogue: No, no I couldn't.

Kitty: Come on, don't you want to see what he keeps in his medicine cabinet? I'll give you a hint - it's more than 50% condoms!

Kitty: Oh, come on, you're no fun! At least take a little peek in his night stand drawer......

Rogue: No, that's wrong, Kitty and - (sees that Kitty is already opening the drawer in question) Hey! Don't! That's his private stuff!

Kitty: Come on, chica - I - oh. Oh, my God. Oh my God! Look at this!

[She's holding up a picture, obviously one that was once part of a larger print. It has faded edges all around and Rogue recognizes herself in the picture as she gets closer.]

Kitty: See, he totally cut the part with me and Jubes off - and look how it's all worn and stuff. I'm telling you, he digs you!

Rogue (glancing over her shoulder at the camera): Put it away, Kitty, those things are private.

Rogue (with iron in her voice): Put it away.

[Kitty reluctantly complies and Rogue casts the cameraman a dark look. The camera goes black.]

[It's the next day and we begin in the girls' room. The painted night stands are in place and Frank has laid several pieces of fabric across Rogue's bed. Logan sips a cup of coffee as he looks on. He is sitting on the completed, pastel-green painted window seat. Hank is enjoying a breakfast twinkie.]

Frank: Great job on that window seat, and you finished it so fast! I'd love to have you along as carpenter on every project!

Logan: Not on your life, bub.

Frank (ignoring him and moving on): I'm thinking the dark orange for the drapes and some pillows, and the cream to accent the beds. I just *hate* that metal sticking out all over - ick!

Hank: I agree. The metal is most unattractive. I hope the girls are doing something with that in our room as well.

Frank: Great! Let's get sewing!

Logan: Oh no, I don't sew, bub. You and big blue can cover that.

Frank: Well, what do you suppose you'll be doing, hmm?

Logan: I wanna change that lightin' fixture up top. Found one I like in the basement. It'll give Rogue better light to study by and stuff. Gonna go get some new stuff for her bed too, maybe a plant. She likes plants.

Frank: Whatever you get for Rogue, we'll have to get for the other two girls as well. We've got $235 left in the budget, so if you can find everything you want for that, go with it!

Logan: I just wanna make Rogue's part of it nice. The other kids got families and stuff to buy 'em things. Rogue just has me.

Hank: I - I'd be willing to pitch in if we go over budget. I think Frank is correct. Jubilee and Kitty may have some hurt feelings if you only get things for Rogue.

Frank: Do we have a deal, then? Hank and I will sew, Logan, you'll shop?

Frank: Great! And don't forget their favorite colors - that's our accent theme.

Frank: And if you get a plant, get something that requires filtered light - we're putting up blinds in here.

Logan: I'm outta here. (Slams door behind him.)

Frank: You'd think he'd be less cranky after having his first cup of coffee.

Hank: There's not enough caffeine in the world, my friend.

[In the guys' room, Jubes and Laurie are putting Hank's bookcase in place. Rogue is fussing with Logan's bed, draping some cream colored material over the frame and tacking it up on the wall like a faux headboard. There is some of the same fabric on Hank's bed, indicating that his will get the same treatment. Other fabric is laid over Hank's bed as well.]

Laurie: Well, we're doing just great, girls! Jubilee - great job on that bookcase! I like the pewter paint on it - it blends just perfectly with the walls and doesn't take over the room! Rogue, your stencils turned out fabulous, girl! And Kitty - I see you've got some ideas for the curtains?

Kitty: Yes, I thought we could make some curtains and pillows out of this patterned material here.

Laurie: That's just wonderful! Let's take some measurements and get started. Rogue - do you want to help us after you finish draping the beds?

Rogue: Um, I was actually thinking of making a little garden for Logan, here in this spot. Hank has the bookcase, and I thought it would be nice to have something in Logan's end of the room too.

Laurie: Oooh - very original! But can we really do a garden in here?

Rogue: Well, um, a small formal garden would work. A - a little fountain, a tree and some plants, maybe some rocks and a little building? Those are all the elements you need. We have some stuff in the garage I think I could use, and I could find some rocks on the grounds. All I'd really have to do is buy the plants.....

Laurie: Well, it sounds like you've got a plan, so go with it!

[Back at the girls' room. Logan enters with numerous big bags.]

Frank: He's back! We were beginning to think you got lost.

Hank: Yes, have you secured all of the items you wanted?

Logan (setting down the packages with a sigh): Yep. Got three sets of sheets - one pink, one yellow, one green. Got three down comforters and three goose down pillows. Got three blankets. Got a plant too, that one.

Frank: My goodness, how much did all that cost you?

Frank: We're overbudget! We're overbudget!

Hank: Now, uh, Logan and I will cover the amount that we -

Frank: You don't understand! Laurie's *always* the one going overbudget! I never go overbudget!

Logan: Don't worry. We'll cover it. And you're the one that made me get stuff for all of 'em.

Frank: Did you have to get *down comforters*?

Logan (losing patience and stalking over to Frank to go nose-to-nose with him): Rogue's from down south. She gets cold. These are the warmest. She's gonna have the best I could get, got it, bub?

Frank (sighing): All right, all right. Let's just get this finished up. Overbudget, I can't believe it.....

Hank (going over to Logan, leaving Frank to his muttering): I am sure Rogue will like it.

[In the guys' room, they're almost done. Rogue is putting the finishing touches on Logan's 'garden' - she brought a small cement pond and fountain up, along with two small trees and some smooth stones. She is finishing arranging some small ferns around the pond and a small pagoda.]

Laurie: Now, Rogue, did you find everything but the plants in the garage?

Rogue: I had to buy the plants and the pagoda, but that's it. You need the pagoda for a formal garden, you need some kind of building.

Laurie: Well, it looks great!

Rogue: Thanks. You guys did great with all the accessories. I don't think Logan will even mind the bedskirt too much.

Kitty: They're going to totally love it in here. We rock!

Jubilee: Can I go shopping for *me* now?

[The guys are finished. Paige, our host, returns to talk with Frank about the completed project.]

Paige: So what was most challenging about transforming this room?

Frank: Getting those visions of a pepto bismol-coated hell out of my mind. I mean, honestly, I know they're just teenagers, but there's no excuse for that!

Paige: Well, there's no trace of pepto here. You've done a wonderful job.

Frank: Well, I hope they like it. If they don't, I'm not working with that Logan guy again. He's got a serious attitude problem, and I don't think he really enjoys interior decor.

[Cut to the girls' completed project, and Laurie. She's sitting on Hank's bed with Paige.]

Paige: Wow! Talk about a total change!

Laurie: Well, cleaning was the first step. I'd guess this place hadn't ever been given a good clean. And then I really just let the girls take over. I wasn't sure about some of Rogue's ideas, but the different colored stencils and the garden really worked out! It looks great! And for once, I'm not overbudget! Yea!!

Paige: Well, let's see what everyone thinks of their new home!

[Cut to Paige guiding all three girls in a row into their new room. Their eyes are shut, and they are all clinging to each other, but they are all giggling a little.]

Paige: OK? Ready for the big change? Open your eyes!

[The girls' eyes open and their mouths fall open as well. Plain shock is written across their faces.]

Jubilee: Oh my God!! Oh my God!! This looks great! I love it! The yellow stuff is mine, right?!

Kitty: Oooh - look! A pink nightstand!

[Rogue is equally surprised but not as outwardly exuberant. She is slowly walking toward her bed and her part of the room. The draping on the bed catches her eye - unlike the other girls', it has something personal to her woven through the fabric - it is a scarf, one that Logan gave her, a green one. She sits on the edge of the bed and her eyes tear up a bit as she reaches for the edge of the scarf. She is clearly overwhelmed.]

Jubilee: It's amazing! It's - it's got, like a window seat, and furniture, and all this new *stuff*! This is so cool!!

Kitty: I know! It's perfect!

Jubes (suddenly serious): Hey, are you sure Logan and Hank did this?

[Cut to the guys' room where Paige is leading a disgruntled Logan and a smiling Hank in.]

Paige: Your turn, guys! Go ahead, open your eyes! Tell me what you think!

Hank: I am - I am simply speechless. This is wonderful! Oh, look - a bookcase! A very big bookcase!

[Logan is quiet, just staring at his half of the room for a few moments, then warily approaching it. His bed is up against the wall, next to the window, and the garden takes up the space from its foot to the wall. The sound of the water running through the fountain is soft and soothing. The blind by his window filters out just enough of the light. He sits on the bed, facing the mini-garden at the foot of it, and breathes in deeply, then closes his eyes. For the first time, we see him smile.]

Paige: And I guess Logan likes his half too! Come on in, you guys!

[The girls, enter, Rogue with a tear or two in her eyes. She makes a b-line for Logan while the other two gravitate to Hank. She sits on the edge of the bed, beside Logan.]

Rogue: So, what do you think?

Logan: It's - it's peaceful.

Rogue: Good. Thanks - thank you for doing our room. It turned out really great.

Logan (giving her a little smile): I knew you'd like it. I'm pretty good at guessin' what you like.

Rogue: Yeah, you are.

Logan (eyes drifting upward): Those symbols look familiar. Do you know what they mean?

Rogue (linking his arm in hers and leaning into him a bit): No, but you do. I got them from you. They're Japanese. That one means honor. That one means courage. That one means strength. That one means life. That one means harmony. That one means victory. (She pauses and chokes up a little.) And that one means love.

Logan (leaning his head over to rest atop hers): You did 'em, huh?

Rogue: Yeah. And some science symbols for Hank too. I did yours in red. I know you like red.

Logan (slipping his arm around her shoulders): It's OK. I'd like it in any color, long as you did it.

Jubilee: You guys! Are you going to join the party or what? I think they're even going to let us have real champagne!

Rogue (without looking at her): In a minute.

Logan: Yeah, we're enjoyin' the room.

Paige (smiling gently at the couple, then at the camera): And that's it for this episode of Trading Spaces. Join us next time when we work with more mutants! We'll be traveling to, uh, the secret headquarters of the Brotherhood, wherever that is, and we'll help two neighbors, um, it says here that they're named Mystique and Sabretooth, transform each other's space. Until then, so long from the Trading Spaces crew!